Newsletter of the LA Underground Art Scene
Brush fires provoke no more
hysterical a reaction among the
urban and suburban communities of
the San Fernando Valley than do the
frantic verbal barrages which typify
discussions among the so-called
ditti literati who follow the art scene
in  So. Cal.  Among the glossy
quarterlies cranking out artistic cant
and the insidious rant their fustian
subscribers apparently admire is a
pearl in the tiara known as Artsy
Fartsy, whose editor A.K.A. Khan
has recently approved of a preview
of the works of a little known local
artist with the improbable
pseudonym of Odd Jim Dotty.   
Microscopic slide of Willow wood
Dotty’s work is apparently representative of an emerging art form know as the Neo-Primitive Post-Outsider Non-ism Movement.
Against this curious backdrop has appeared a blaze of outrage penned by a total nobody with the name of Sangfroid Uppity, an art
critic who teaches courses at Fort Huachuca Community College some where off in the desert east of Van Nuys.  It seems that
this Uppity character has launched a series of rather personal attacks of a caustic and vituperative nature, upon the carcass of
Dotty’s works, as reported by an even less probable author,  someone with the  ersatz  escritoire of Eucalyptus Ike. Ike’s preview
of Dotty’s work has been running off the lips of  the Fartsy readership now for several weeks, following the initial quarterly
printing which appeared sometime in May. The latest blast of hot intestinal gas from Uppity has it that Dotty’s work is not even
original, as was previously believed, but nothing more than copied clap trap from a hack suffering from delusion of grandeur.  
Uppity offers as evidence the two photos you see here.  To the left is a microscopic slide (micrograph) from Willow wood
downloadable from the web, while to the right is the actual painting by Dotty titled “Willow Tree Comforts Deceased Souls.”  
According to Uppity, there is no doubt whatsoever that Dotty not only stole the idea for his painting but actually copied the image
onto his canvas, merely altering color to conceal the blatant theft.  Even the idea for Dotty’s title was essentially stolen from the
website, according to Uppity.  A.K.A. Khan, speaking for the Artsy Foundation, has denied that Dotty and Ike collaborated to foist
a hoax off on the Fartsy readership.  Khan asserts instead that Uppity is simply notoriously simple-minded, suffers from epileptic
seizures, and fails generally to understand even what minimal information he has read about his chosen field.  Fort Huachuca news
reporter, Ernesto Sandoval Habaniero Y Yolanda, reached by telegraph on 29th of this month, has reported that Uppity was recently
dismissed from his teaching duties and forced to resign after evidence of child molestation charges surfaced on a local TV show,
"The  Fort Huachuca Nose."  For reasons beyond the reach of this reporter’s nostrils, Uppity somehow blamed Dotty for his
dismissal and sought to ruin Dotty’s promising career by disparaging his work and slinging mud upon his reputation.  The author,
Eucalyptus Ike, was simply an innocent bystander caught between a rock and a hard place.  Uppity’s brother, speaking for the
family on Monday, said Uppity’s mental health had been slipping off the edge ever since his arrest for molesting one of his students
last fall, and the recent charges brought against him had precipitated his mental collapse.  The family is currently investigating
sanitarium facilities outside the state in the expectation that Uppity’s case will never come to trial, as he is now in a straightjacket in
the suicide wing of the Huachuca County jail.                     
Obscure Local Artist Accused of Plagiarism: Artsy Foundation Denies Charges
existent standards.  If there is one guiding principle for the honorable profession of clitical theory it is most certainly that the
professional clitic should have no personal relationship with the artist.  That their judgments and observations should, in both
perception and fact, be devoid of tawdry cronyism.    To assume that Eucalyptus Ike would be capable of objective commentary
on Odd Jim Dotty is akin to having the Playmate of the Month eulogizing Hugh Hefner’s  philosophy.  It is third-rate press agentry
not cliticism.   No one (with the possible exception of your moronic readership) will mistake this self-serving verbal offal for
meaningful thought.                                                                          
Yak Von Prattle,   Truth or Consequences, New Mexico

I really liked the part where Ike bemoans the “Ancestor Figure” having only one symbolic tit.  Especially since everybody knows
that it was about Odd Jim’s Mother who had one of her tits cut off because of breast cancer.   Mark up another one for preserving
the freedom to be in bad taste.   Loved the big tit photos.  Let’s have more titillating vulgarity and less pretentious gobbledygook
and I might even consider renewing my subscription.                                                   
Kinky Bugger Mustang Ranch, Nevada

It is my personal conviction that all art clitics are simply a bunch of flies hovering around their own horseshit.  If they must exist,
however,  they should be articulate and singular in their propensity to metagrobolize the trivial.  Ike has certainly mastered that
dilettantish and inutile elucubration.  I only wish that he would quit wasting his time on such dubious activities and get back to
carving.                                                                                                                    
Idiom Traipse Happy Camp, California

While recognizing that art criticism is, at best, an exercise in subjective legerdemain, the recent series of articles by Eucalyptus Ike
represent a dangerous anachronism—a return to the fawning jargoneze reminiscent of pre-Clitical Theory assumptions and
methodology.  Where are the numinous brazen barbs,  the gross-tinged merciless shaft, the rattle and sting of the sidewinder,  the
noisome phrase squeeze, the agitated verb of impalement—all of the finely honed techniques and best practices unique to our
tradition.  If Ike persists down this path of nice-nellyism he should be drummed from our ranks.  Someone should tell Ike to take
off his pink panties and put on his jock strap.                                         
 Snoop Driblet, Goopy Grape Overlook, New Mexico

The recent writings of Eucalypytus Ike wind like an incestuous ingrown hair combining impaired vision with precarious footing and
bizarre schizoid analysis.  With one foot in the graveyard of old English teachers and the other on the banana peel of senility, he
somehow manages to be totally inept in a field where to be inept at all is virtually impossible.  He apparently believes that being an
enthusiastic proselytizer entitles him to a point of view that is worthy of public dissemination.  If it didn’t border on the
intellectually sinister it would be farcical.   The very notion that the pseudo-paintings of that peculiar cretin Odd Jim Dotty are
worthy of discussion is, in itself, scandalous.  To surround them with esoteric balderdash is an act of unadorned ignominy.   It
may be fashionable these days to glorify the unsalable amateur. Such efforts, however, most of which are dismissable even by
close relatives, should not be confused with true art.  I find it reprehensible that Artsy Fartsy would provide a forum for this puerile
crap.
                                                                                                   
Sangfroid Uppity,  Sandy’s Place, Nevada
Letters to the Editor viz Artsy Fartsy and Odd Jim Dotty
Read Sangfroid
Uppity on Dotty
See Uppity Article