Dotty Begging for Dotting Instructions from His Muse
Failed Lesson # 1
Failed Lesson # 2
Failed Lesson # 3
Failed Lesson # 4
Failed Lesson # 5
Failed Lesson # 6
Failed Lesson # 7
Failed Lesson # 8
Failed Lesson # 9
Trapdoor Hag Spinning Her Bubble Nest
“Egg of Video Sputter: I of the Beholder”
“Improbable Clown Polarized, Pasteurized”
“Simple Inverted Stained Glass Mosaic” or "Glass Inverted Stained Mosaic"
“Principles of a Warped Drive in the Desert”
“Board Game Number 2”
“Random Things Spending Time Together”
The Master of the Chess Board Surveys His Universe
Motto of the Institute:    "Nothing is ever as good as it seems beforehand..."
Looking Backward Number One: Some years ago Odd Jim Dotty reported to his notorious co-conspirator [Ike] that he had attempted
unsuccessfully to test a theory concerning the relationship between brain function and artistic performance by repeating the same extended
series of dotting maneuvers on multiple canvases. The idea was to attempt to measure aesthetically the effect of his mood upon the outcome of
an exactly specified painting project. Applying the same dots with the same colors to the same pattern on nine separate canvas in precisely the
same order at the same time each day etc., he managed to produce the nine paintings you see identified here as
Failed Lessons Number One
through Nine
. However, according to Dotty, he was unable to reproduce the pattern he began with exactly regardless of how much or how
hard he tried. Something always seemed to occur to interrupt or deflect the flow of his efforts. Although it is not widely known, the practice of
dotting does lead its adepts at times to fall into a trance like state where the painter is so deeply engrossed in the activity that he looses track of
everything except a rhythmic preoccupation with dots and paint. Furthermore, Dotty said he began each project session on a new canvas with a
distinctly different mood (which was, of course, a necessary part of the research effort). In order, those moods were (1) exasperated (2)
sensuously aroused (3) humorously amused (4) feeling clownish (5) feeling discombobulated (6) absorbed in astral projection (7) feeling
philosophical (8) abstrusely distracted  and (9) fundamentally self satisfied.  The extent to which these moods affected the outcome of his
efforts remains a matter of some conjecture among those who are vaguely interested in the relationship between mood, vitamins and geometric
abstractions, which thankfully will not much concern us here. Instead, the object of this exhaustive analytical exegesis will be to examine the
deep structure of those mentations which we believe were captured in the so-called failures Dotty did produce.
Lessons in Failure or Ruminations on the Benefits of Projective Psycho-logical Archetypal Osmosis                                     [Reprinted from "Proceedings of the Institute for Chaotic Neuro-Pixelographic Archeology"]
by E. Ike
Brief Foreward After Looking Backward: It has long been postulated that the human brain is capable of a range of activities,
abilities, modalities which lie beyond the pale of our perceptions. After all, no one can explain exactly what happens in the brain
when we form the will to utter a single syllable, let alone when we deliver up an entire sentence. Electroencephalograms may
measure the changes in electric potential in the brain, but that hardly explains much of anything about anything except how to
suck grant money off the federal government. No, when it comes right down to it, nobody can explain jack squat about what is
really going on in our heads when we decide to think or do anything. Moreover, perhaps the reason why so little of what is
known really matters is because everyone doing the testing has been putting the horse before the cart instead of the other way
around. The horse [the brain power] doesn't matter as much as what's in the cart [what the horse has been hauling].  That is to
say, perhaps we should be working backward from the end product rather than trying to figure out what's going on in the brain
as we go forward. In any case, that is the procedural perspective embraced by those who espouse Chaotic Neuro-Pixelographic
Archeology [sometimes referred to as Projective Psycho-logical Archetypal Osmosis]..  
Looking Backward Number Two: The development of the modern digital camera and digital photography has made possible a truly astounding
array of possibilities for collecting, categorizing, editing and printing photos on a scale little suspected by anyone less than twenty years ago. So
widespread and far-reaching has this phenomena become that even the average citizen may now take and edit thousands of photos a week if he
so chooses, with little expense added beyond the original cost of the camera. Millions upon untold  millions of people using computers now
upload or download digital photos daily, affecting millions of websites which have proliferated like grunion on the shores of an incredible world
wide oceanic web. Inexpensive software programs like Photoshop provide vast resources for processing and storage of photos, printing of
albums, and a host of editing features to correct for photogenic defects. Complex and arcane digital filters offer enormous power to the mere
hobbyist whose ability to manipulate the pixels of a digital image has reached dimensions and proportions beyond the imaginative power of the
typical mortal's wildest daydreams...all of which has led some cutting edge artists to explore new realms or personal artistic expression...       
Obviously, this page is still under construction...
You will recall, no doubt, that Einstein concluded that Energy is equal to Mass times the speed of light squared [E=MC2]. Well,
if energy is equal to mass, then mass must be equal to energy, wouldn't you think? I mean, that's how it all works according to
Albert, so if we proceed from the point of view of  mass (what the energy produced in the second place, we ought to be able to
work back to the energy itself in the first place. That, put simply for the non-scientific reader, is basically how Projective
Psycho-logical Archetypal Osmosis works, leaving out all the horrible little numbers and symbols used by dorky physicist and
wonky mathematicians who can't seem to communicate in plain English. But what does that mean for the amateur photographer?
Not a whole lot except for the following.
Digital photography is the art or process of capturing light produce by or emanating from an image or object. Indeed,
"photogenic" literally means 'due to or produced by light.'  Therefore, we can conclude that a digital photographic image has
captured light that was traveling at the speed of light. So why can't we just reverse the process? That is to say, why can't we
just peal back the layers of light to see what came last, then before that, and before that and so on until we end up with what
actually came first? And there you have it: "projective pixelographic archeology."  It all makes sense if you take out all the fancy
words and numbers that just get in the way of our understanding of the facts...  
The image that Dotty produced in Failed Lesson # 1 is obviously not much of a mass. The question is why? Dotty is such a
meticulous artist, perspicacious, indefatigable, disciplined, and unrelenting in his efforts to light up the essence of an idea or
image. So what went wrong? We know he had a plan, and he obviously took great pains to prepare the canvas, even to the
extent of surrounding the image with a delicately applied border, a framework of adjacent or concentric squares (i.e. squares
with a center in common). Furthermore, he even divided the field of the canvas into 25 additional squares, organized in five rows
of five squares in each row. Then something began to go very very wrong, and he ended up with this horribly bent and
dis-organized cross-like object superimposed upon all the helpless little squares.  Was this meant to be some kind of anti-religious
statement? Some deep concern with the fate of Christians whose little tortured minds have been manipulated and molded into
squares by years of exposure to the likes of Jimmie Swaggart or Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker or the infamous Jim Jones? [Ever
notice how many of these religious screwballs are named Jim?]  And there inside the mutilated cross were additional layers like
onion skins piled one upon another leading in toward a final little brown rectangle looking like a tiny turd inside another turd. A
very peculiar turn of events to say the least.

Well, as you might expect, at first no one was sure quite what to make of it, including Dotty, who apparently gave up on it
finally, in order to initiate a second attempt. But, what of the fact that Dotty claimed he began this first test feeling
"exasperated"? Of course, to exasperate means "to irritate or annoy, very much; to make angry; or vex." But
exasperate also has
an older botanical meaning as an adjective, denoting "having rough and prickly skin." And that was very interesting, because it
implied that pealing away the layers of paint Dotty had applied over the helpless little squares might reveal the source of what
went wrong in the first place. Several digital filtrations later, after a tedious application of the principles of projective
pixelographic archeology, lo and behold, the true source of Dotty's so-called failure was discovered. All along, perhaps deep in
Dotty's subconscious, Trapdoor Hag had been oh so meticulously spinning her devious little bubble nest...

Other aesthetic theorists, however, have tended to see the horribly bent cross-like object in Failed Lesson # 1 not as a cross at
all, but rather as a tortured X rotated a few degrees from its horizontal axis. This school of thought is convinced Dotty is
somehow subconsciously suspicious of the X factor of his XY chromosomes, and a consequential abhorrence of his female side
explains Dotty's preoccupation with the creation of evil woman fetishes, a theory which is widely regarded as the only credible
explanation for his occasional desire to fondle worms, leeches and small fuzzy rodents.    
Obviously, in Failed Lesson # 2, we are at first confronted with only minor alterations to that pattern presented first in Failed
Lesson # 1.  But we must not allow ourselves to be deceived by what seems merely obvious. The forces at work here are far
more devious than anyone, including Dotty, has ever suspected. As you can see, nine of the previously identified helpless little
squares have now been dotted in a rather fecal shade of brown. But that is not the only significant difference. The previously
tightly woven lines in the mangled-cross-female-X-chromosome shape in Failed Lesson # 1 have now been expanded ominously
into nine concentric but highly irregular layered replications of a single donut hole in the center of the photo. But is that a donut
hole or some other kind of hole? Or is it some kind of primal dot hole bursting forth from the anus of an odious X chromosome?
Drawn to this curious apparition by both scientific probity and the realization that turds do come from little brown holes (if you
know what I mean) the team of scientists at Ike's photosynthesis labs agreed collectively to concentrate all their efforts upon
that one tiny brown hole in order to see what was going on inside.

Naturally, the layers of light had to be peeled away rather gingerly so as not to disturb the delicate tissue represented on the
underlying canvas. Slowly, infinitely thin layer by layer, the projective filtration systems of applied pixelographic archeology
tunneled deeper and deeper into the layers of light in that tiny section of the photo, exposing ever more revealing hints as to the
nature of the hidden material. Finally, after an exhaustive effort to overcome or move around numerous professionally
challenging brown blobular obstacles, the team hit pay dirt. Although the image uncovered had to be magnified by a factor of 2
to the 4th power, the resulting amplification revealed, for the first time,  the glorious image you see juxtaposed here beside
Failed Lesson # 2. Subconsciously, apparently, Dotty was simply pleading for dotting instructions from his muse, a female entity
of rather imposing girth whose great white mammary gland is pointedly sagging downward in Dotty's direction. Attired in what
appears to be a kimono with an elaborate overhead train, this magisterial behemoth looms over her supplicant like some
humanoid cuttlefish displaying her magnificent control over floriferous florescence. Dotty's facial expression, of course, is one
of intense sexual arousal as he peers up at this provocative but mesmerizing image, his lips puckering with intense adolescent
anticipation as he maneuvers forward toward a rosy pink nipple, the very font of the oracle of dotting. Left arm drawn outward
and down in a formal bow, and wearing a cape decorated with an elongated orifice somewhat resembling an ear, Dotty stands
humbly, as is befitting his merely mortal status, awed by the spectacle, enraptured, captivated, hypnotized, transcendent, and
totally inspired...
Failure Number One...
Failure Number Two...
Failure Number Three...
Much of what has previously been said about the XY Chromosome merger/loathing factor associated with the two previous
artistic failures stems from a decade of critical argument specifically concentrated upon Dotty's murky
Failed Lesson # 3. It
has been suggested, for example, that the "browning" of all 25 helpless squares (see the image) was clearly a portent predictive
of 25 years of agricultural crop failures to come. Indeed this visionary perspective may have been instrumental in the creation of
the Dotty masterpiece known as "Dates Drying along the Nile"  [see Part V for additional details]. Nevertheless, it does seem
clear that failure number three was peculiarly significant from the point of view of an ontological regurgitation of purgative
effects. Insiders have been especially captivated, however, with the apparent merging of the Y pattern here with its pointedly
black central focus, which seems to have ejected two smaller dark particles outward into the arms of the Y, and a central
vertical arm pointing upward to suggest the penile forth arm of the so-called loathing factor of X. The question remains, what
does it all mean?

Given the felicitous outcome of the projective archeological filtrations associated with the previous Failure, the Dream Team at
Ike's Photosynthesis lab concluded the following: "Let's stick with the previous strategy and peel back the layers of light from
the central blackened core of the XY Chromosome merger/loathing factor superimposed upon the helpless murky brown
squares."  Frankly, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was only later that almost everyone came to agree just the opposite.

Over sixty-five complex filtrations projected over a 16 day period were required to uncover the complex image you see
represented to the extreme left. And still, no one is quite sure what to make of it. Researchers do agree at least upon the
following. (1) The spider is, in all probability, not a trapdoor spider, as it might have been intended to be. (2) The spider has laid
an egg or is guarding an egg which seems to contain an image from a known historical photograph taken of Ugh Toad on an
ill-advised camping trip. (3) Ugh Toad's facial image has been dotted onto the body of a preying mantis (four times) and (4) the
entire image appears to represent some kind of thorny flower encrypted with batty figures...

Finally, it remains to be mentioned that Dotty reported a mood of  "humorous amusement" when he began his third attempt to
replicate the pattern for the original painting project. How that detail bears upon the explanation for this discovery is anyone's
Those with the necessarily perverse nature and iron clad stomach to have read thus far are likely to agree that everything said
above concerning the X-Chromosome nausea factor applies to
Failed lesson # 4 as well. However, as you can clearly see, only
nine of the helpless squares are now over-dotted with a kind of bloody diarrhea brown as is the mis-shaped X which dominates a
field of grayish white squares representing someone with an asymmetrical cross to bear. Notice that the grayish white squares in
the form of a crude cross do seem to clearly support the mangled X [representing half of the XX Female Chromosome,
obviously]. Dotty's coating of the X in bloody diarrhea suggests a growing or increasing concern at some level of awareness that
gynophobic manifestations are now rising to the surface from trapped repressions held in abeyance in the past.

New developments in modern projective pixelography have led researchers, however, to pass over these now superficial
observations in order to look beyond the obvious signs of unqualified neurotic or narcissistic behavior.

Tuning the crystals of the
pixel projector in order to more closely examine the wave lengths of light passing through the
crystallographic pasteurizer led to the discovery of the unprecedented image you see here: the "Improbable Clown Polarized and
Pasteurized,"  now referred to as the I. C. P. P. image.

Notice that the clown's hairdo is partly composed of long wienie shaped crescents emanating from a diamond shaped forehead
which terminates in a bulbous nose packed with salami or sausage like elements, leading some to conclude this was an
unconscious attempt on the part of Dotty to represent "a deliberate sniffing after the truth."  Notice also that three tears appear
falling from the clown's left eye, which seems strangely saddened while the right eye bears the unmistakable bleary glare of old
age. The mouth obviously is partly concealed below a froth of foamy dots.

While these elements may seem to some to suggest a collective negativity of sorts, it is important to recognize that the spherical
face of the clown is (1) bathed in a corona of light, (2) light white pixels appear in several bands beside which the darker
elements have been laid, and (3) rays of light move downward or outward toward the bottom of the portrait. Altogether then, the
assembled image, no matter how improbable it may seem, does appear to have a semi-mystical archetypal flavor, and perhaps
even an Ikean quality or two.    
The Fourth Failure...
The Fifth Failure...
Chronic inconsistencies which arise occasionally in the aftermath of a single applied pixelographic filtration are known to
produce outcomes which both vex and baffle cutting edge researchers in the field. A case in point was produce in step 7 of the
2nd filtration procedure applied to Dotty's Fifth Failed Lesson. As you can see in "Simple Inverted Stained Glass Mosaic," there
is little to report about the result except to say it seems only vaguely to resemble its parent image. But that is not what is
important about the outcome. What is important is that no further changes or alterations to the outcome were ever produced in
any additional testing of the digitized data. No matter what additional filter was applied to GISM or "Glass Inverted Stained
Mosaic" it came out exactly the same. Granted, there was a kind of dribble quality around the edges of the pixels which did seem
to depend upon the number of lightly colored squares in Dotty's original failure. And, depending upon the speed setting for the
reflex aperture of the crystallographic pasteurizer, pixel ooze-ness or sticky pixels were identified on a more or less recurring
basis. Other than that no additional transformations were ever obtained.

This outcome was so unprecedented, so unpredictable, and so baffling that it could not be explained or dismissed without
considerable harm to the sterling reputations of the dream team in general. What was it about these sticky pixels that curtailed
any further attempt to transform their pixelatious natures? Nothing tried seemed to make any difference whatsoever, until a
chance observation by a low level graduate student [Ace Grubber] provided a possible explanation. His microscopic examination
of random strings of the ooze surrounding the sticky pixels [see below] revealed tiny letters somehow buried within the ooze!

Stunned by the technical complications suggested by this discovery, experts from a wide variety of related disciplines were
consulted in an attempt to fathom the implications of this development. What did "m-e-s-s-a-g-e  f-o-l-l-o-w-s" mean? While it is
not possible, with any degree of confidence at present, to explain this perplexing set of circumstances, it must mean
something...everyone involved has been quick to agree about that...    
Failure Number Six...
Cryptography is the art of writing or deciphering messages in code or the system used in a code or cypher. Was Dotty
somehow concealing messages in the matrix of pixels embedded within his dot paintings? That did not seem possible to anyone
who had ever had a personal relationship with him. Dotty was a known technophobe, and an extreme one at that. He did not
even own a ball point pen, and once reported he vastly preferred to use quills made from chicken or turkey feathers instead.
Dotty didn't even use brushes, for crying out loud (not even a tooth brush); instead he applied his dots with the clean end of a
match stick dipped in paint. He could barely operate a telephone, and was rarely known to call anyone anyway. It is said that he
could drive a vehicle, but he almost never did, preferring instead to be driven around by one of his offspring who he then treated
as a chauffeur/valet/cook without pay. With respect to modern electronic gadgets, he could not tell a URL from a used car. He
could operate a simple digital camera but he had no idea how to change the battery, even in a flashlight. Nor could he set the date
stamp for the camera or alter in any way the number of pixels in a single photograph. In fact, his only known curiosity about
camera operations was when he once asked the question: "Is it on or off?"  he could operate a word processor if somebody first
turned it on for him, but he could not save a file or print one out. He literally loathed television, the telegraph, the telegram, the
mailman and a letter without a stamp on it, because he claimed they were the universal bearers of bad news. He did not own a
cell phone, a pager, a kindle, or any other hand held communications device. Furthermore, he had an unusually low opinion of
anyone who did. He didn't even like to wear glasses or eat with a fork or spoon. Mostly he just ate with his fingers. He was also
against napkins for some odd reason, preferring to wipe his fingers on his clothes. It was once reported that he hated running
water in the home, felt that indoor plumbing was for pussies, and absolutely refused to have his clothes washed in an electric
powered washing machine. He would not abide an electric blanket on his bed, allow a microwave oven in the kitchen or even an
electric can opener, a trash compactor or a dish washer. In fact, it is hard to imagine anyone less likely than Dotty to have the
expertise to accomplish the level of cryptographic sophistication represented by the above. Don't get me wrong! Dotty was a
brilliant thinker; artist, painter, carver; there is absolutely no doubt about that. But he was not in the least interested in electronic
gewgaws, gimmicks, fickle internet fads or gadgets, and that is a sure bet. However, there was always someone around who
was...the notorious crank and electronic crackerjack, the one and only Ugh Toad...Furthermore, the Toad was an excellent
photographer, could whip out a motion gif whenever he wanted, was an acknowledged computer expert, graphics artists, agent
provocateur, cryptographic specialists and ornery acknowledged anti-establishment anarchist. What does all that have to do with
Failed Lesson # 6, and its transformation into "Principles of a Warped Drive in the Desert"? You're so smart, why don't you
figure it out...        
The Seventh Failure
"We are none of us perfect," Dotty once said to Ike, "And you even more than most!" As you know, this was not news to
anybody who knew Ike. This observation naturally leads one to ask the question, "What does that have to do with the seventh
Failed Lesson?"  We believe the answer lies in a careful examination of the projective transformation now known as "Board
Game Number 2."  Unfortunately, this is neither the time nor the place to conduct such a lengthy and time consuming
investigation. What we are willing to say, however, is this. Only one transformative aperture was applied to the digital record
recovered when the first layer of pixellatious strata was removed from Failed Lesson # 7. Incredible  as it may seem, the image
you see to the extreme left was right below the first layer of surface light. It seemed to follow that Dotty had blotted out the
earlier image with a final layer of dingy brown dots before discarding the canvas just as he had done with the previous six
attempts. Since Dotty began the painting by his own admission in a "philosophical" mood, we are marginally obligated to ask
what sort of philosophy or philosophical principles does the board game seem to represent? Notice, at the very heart of the XY
Mangled Chromosome configuration appears some kind of ludicrous fairy apparently dancing while playing the flute. This
jock-strapped figure, some have suggested, is Dotty's subconscious rendition of Ike. Dotty's face, smiling faintly perhaps in
amused satisfaction, looms out of the creamy border just to the left. A third male figure, in blue over a white background, seems
to be roped together with a naked brunette asking the philosophical question: "Why?" Also prominent in the imagery are the
following: some kind of primitive fish, a cracked egg, an apple with a bird perched atop it , and a second miniaturized version of
the brunette.

Conclusion: There is something fishy going on in these Judeo-Christian relationships. The eggs are not turning out right because
the XX and the XY chromosomes can't seem to agree on how to go about doing anything. Furthermore, everything that does
appear to be agreed upon has strings attached. Which way to go is also often confusing because nobody has a very accurate
road map and the roads don't lead anywhere in the first place. The whole board is a mess of blind alleys, dead ends, and useless
cul-de-sacs (i.e. situations from which there is no escape). And at the heart of it all is this mad red jock strap--sex or the need to
reproduce--which is probably the primal cause of much of the confusion in the first place...

From a purely thematic point of view, this blotted over Dotty transformation may be a precursor to or a post-cursor of other
important works of his, including "All Roads Lead Away from a Mystery in Van Nuys," 'Coordinates for Controlled Folly," and
"A Theory of Gender Differences in the Social Construction of Reality."  
The Eighth Failure
There are those, naturally, who are reluctant to recognize the profound implications the discoveries achieved by
neuro-pixelographic archeology hold for such fields as psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, and psycho-analytic theory. The human
mind remains a domain of awesome vastness, and there are few proven effective methodologies available to anyone who
endeavors to explore its depths. Furthermore, a dose of healthy skepticism is certainly called for in any arena noted for quacks,
charlatans, medical pickpockets, and HMO thieves. Quackery, however, is not a condition restricted solely to the health
sciences. Some of the worst quacks in the history of quackery, for example, have thrived in the field of art criticism [a case in
point being the Cretaceous rantings of Snoop Rat).

Those who doubt the benefits of Projective Psycho-logical Archetypal Osmosis are, therefore, challenged to examine carefully
the following argument.

Dotty's Eighth Failure, which you see here, is undoubtedly not a failure at all. Were it not for his persistent effort to test the
relationship between mood and artistic performance, there would never have been any possibility for recovering the image
entitled "Random Things Spending Time Together."  Even though he reported being 'abstrusely distracted' when he began his
eighth attempt (undeterred by the previous (in his view) seven failures) Dotty did not flinch, he did not slack off, he did not
surrender to discouragement, admit defeat, throw in the towel, move to table, seek an alternative viewpoint, slink away in
humiliation, cast off the ravelled sleeve of care, vacillate, procrastinate, masterbate or hesitate to proceed with unflinching
confidence in his God given abilities. In fact, although it is difficult to explain, there is something rather wholesome, rather
appealing, rather satisfying in some undefinable way, about Dotty's eighth effort. It has a sort of luminous brilliance about it, a
pleasurable or pleasant appeal which it achieves in an almost effortless and mystifying way. Perhaps that helps to explain
somehow the power and human majesty which Dotty covered when he dotted over the elusive master piece below.

The consummate artistry, the infinitely precise detail, and the random beauty of the "things spending time together" provoke the
viewer to enjoy a state of awe and awareness rarely encountered in a mere photograph. If chromosomes and genes could speak,
surely they would say to us "Look ye upon this message and behold the wonder of the universe, the human race..."          
Failure Number 9
The Master of the Chess Board Surveys His Universe, some have argued, is a logical extension of the theme first suggested
in Failed Lesson # 9. But this kind of thinking [more rat pellets from Snoop Rat undoubtedly] is clearly not only flame retardant
(because it lacks the spark of intellect) but patently illogical. No one except the Rat now doubts the scientific evidence which
underlies the theory of pixellographic archeology. You cannot postulate or defend the notion that the light that arrives last got
there somehow before the light that arrived first. It just doesn't work that way; even a brainless toad knows that. Instead, the
theme that was first worked out by The master of the Chess Board was then extended to Failed Lesson # 9. This time line is not
only consistent with the historical photogenic record, it is intellectually more satisfactory as well (at least to Ike).

Oddly enough, the central figure in Failed Lesson # 9 does somehow remind us of Dotty, for it is enigmatic, composed of a
cross between the angular and the pointed, slightly misshapen, and filled with a sense of its own self-importance. Notice how it
dominates the field of play, taking up more space on the board than the single square it is entitled to, crowding out all the other
pieces except for a few measly pawns relegated to the extreme sidelines where they cower in dark brown defilement. Striding
forward while looking backward (I couldn't help the pun) we see Magister Loony plump with pixellated paternity, pointing the
way bluntly toward some unknown vista there beyond the board of his Monday night bingo box.

Sure enough, when the standard procedures of Projective Archetypal Osmosis were applied to the Ninth Failure, the astringent
shadow of Dotty, decked out in his favorite hat, did burst forth from the light aperture like fireflies from a Rocky Mountain
Oyster. And now, behold, clustered magnificently around the shade of Dotty loomed the projected rectangular cubicles of his
post Copernican boardwalk consciousness, floating in a vast cosmic darkness imbued with mystical properties while strange
obloid oddities ooze from the blackness, or bloom forth in a burst of blustering buzzing confusion. There, amidst the carnelian
blush of Plutonian possibilities, Dotty stares foreward, with his binocular case hung from his scrawny neck, wizened and
geezerfied (but unbroken and unbent), ready to leap once again into the future unknown where angels themselves fear to tread.

What audacity, what boldness, what pious impudence, what energy (what vitamins) spur Dotty to such intellectual and artistic
heights of excellence? Dotty won't say, and unfortunately for you, neither can I...