This is true for several reasons, of which not the least important is the simple fact that new terms and styles of pronunciation
continue to flood into the citation files of the editorial staff, making the publication of a state-of-the-art dictionary unlikely of
attainment, even with the speed and efficiency of powerful modern printers and computers. Nevertheless, given effort on the
part of the general reader, this source document should serve as an important and reliable tool for those taking their first
hesitant steps into an area of study that commands the awesome respect of religious, lay and political leaders throughout the
civilized world. Users of this lexicon will promptly discover the changes that the records show have taken place in the
definitions of key terms over time, and should remember that these changes are recorded from earliest to most current usage
for most of the lexical entries. Such change is a recurrent quality of the Hellish dialects, although change is a necessary
characteristic of all living--as well as the dead--languages.
The art-science of lexicography does not permit its adepts either to exclude an entry or usage held in low repute [or Dis
repute] by those who take a purist view with respect to such matters, but instead requires a detached objectivity, a reporting
of observable facts about language as they have been discovered during the course of field research. For this reason, no
attempt has been made to substitute euphemisms for those taboo words and concepts that abound in the degraded dialects of
the infernal regions. Although the editors could easily have dispensed with the true obscenities and terms of racial and ethnic
opprobrium that are found with distasteful frequency in this document, the tendency to censor this type of lexical entry has
been generally resisted, in order to present a more accurate and realistic picture of the state of linguistic affairs in HELL
during the modern period. The reader is warned, therefore, that this document was never meant to be distributed haphazardly
to impressionable, easily influenced persons, the uneducated, the marginally literate or children, those whose grasp on reality is
tenuous or ingenuous at best...
The historical antecedents of language study in HELL offer a rich vein of materials for those interested in ontological and
phylogenetic research related to matters of Hellish philology, penology, art, letters or other matters. Indeed, so abundant is the
amount of historical documentation available that only an abbreviated list of sources will be mentioned here, to suggest the
depth and array of scholarly endeavor which underlies the accuracy and authenticity of this document.
It is a fact of life--as well as a fact of life after death--that language is the repository of experience, a symbolic system of
words for recording and transmitting the thoughts, beliefs, acts, concepts, behaviors and institutions of its speakers. But of
far more importance in Hell is a far less commonly understood fact: that language shapes its speakers as much as its speakers
are responsible for the shape of their language. This implies that a language will be what it is as a result of the way its
previous and current users have employed or abused it, and that language abuse may be transmitted from one generation of
speakers to the next generation and so on...ad infinitum...ad nauseam...
This observation, naturally, is of critical importance for the study of the ongoing processes of language change which have
characterized the development of the retrogressive dialect forms currently spoken in the states and dominions of modern
HELL. Early attempts at classifying the mentations of demonic experience apparently stemmed from a concern to provide
formal instruction. Although our earliest records indicate that the angelic demons spoke a single common tongue--Modred or
Morder Ur-Spiranto--across the span of centuries change both gradual and violent in the Morder tongue of demons
necessitated a more formal compilation of the ur-forms of demonic speech. Thus as a source of information for beings
ignorant in one way or another--including the young, foreigners and the underprivileged--demonic dictionaries arose as a
consequence of the linguistic confusion associated with a slowly evolving profusion of regional dialects, spoken by those
engaged in forms of conflict, in order to sort out the differences between terms in differing dialects; hence the earliest
dictionaries became the primary means of instruction in demonic bilingual education (emphasis added).
The American Standard English translation of Lucifer's Lexicon of the Dark
Design, which exploded upon the lexicographical scene in 2009, was never
intended for consumption by the general public. But its acceptance by scholars and
students of the infernal regions as a seminal work of great breadth and historical
accuracy has resulted in a series of clandestine printings, printings unauthorized by
the controlling editorial staff, the legitimacy and completeness of which are the
subject of considerable dispute. Therefore, in order to make the official and
unexpurgated version of this remarkable document available to the widest range of
readers interested in the social, economic, historical and linguistic characteristics of
the modern period of Hell, a modest number of copies of the official version of
Satan Lucifer VII’s training manual for Star Class [*] S.U.C.K. Intelligence agents
has now been published. Scholars of the social, economic, religious and political
dialects of DIS [Hell] generally agree today that a comprehensive dictionary
covering all or even most of the lexical terms current in contemporary Hellish
speech is an unlikely probability.
The earliest ‘dictionary’ known to scholars of ur-demonics was a simple tool apparently intended for the formal instruction of
adolescent demons in the military academy of ancient Hades, in Pluton, the capitol city of the first state of Hades. Recorded
in charcoal on lightly surfaced stone blocks, it was eventually assembled as part of the outer wall of the palace of Lucifer I, in
201,410 B.C. Scrawled across the stonewalled edifice which enclosed the hand-to-hand combat training arena, its formal title
in Ur-Spiranto remains unknown. However, a later historical reference to the work suggests it was probably entitled Primary
and Secondary Cons of Glyphic Origin [see Ex-Picto Factoid’s Paleography and Ideography of the Magi Word Con-
Fraternities and Con-Federations, published (date unknown) in Limbo, now out of print.]Crude as it was, this rough piece of
work was later superseded by a glossary recorded on a primitive form of asbestos [from the Geek word ‘asbestos’] and the
title (in translation] had become Legendary Corpus of Cons Convulsions with Codes, Ciphers and SinCryptic-games.
Unfortunately, no extant copy of this early gloss remains, owing to temperature extremes in early Hades.
Although little is known of the primary grades of language instruction in primordial Hades, it is clear that over the centuries
angelic research on asbestos materials gradually made available a reliable short-term medium for the recording and
transmission of demonic lore and legend. Apparently, however, early attempts to organize and summarize the complexities of
demonic cognition were principally concerned with clarifying vague mentations associated with combat, force of arms,
military tactics, strategy and punishment of civil infractions referred to as drivel Dis-obedience. Over three hundred sixty-five
manuscripts dating roughly from the 160th millennium B.C. are known to have been concerned with these topics. Again,
written in charcoal, perhaps the most significant of these was Dis-Militant Facts Twixt Bibliographic Annals: Angelic Al’s
Bituminous Sketches of the Primordial Con-cepts of DIS.
By 100,000 B.C. the pace of lexical research had begun to quicken. For the range of demonic thought had broadened to
facilitate ersatz concepts about the latest fads as well as the rudest of religious and secular notions. Techno-primitive
demonology now arose, flourished, and was cannibalized by incipient bungie-sophy, cock-sophistry, combative matrimony,
and the jerkoff forms of Hellish society’s latest crud norms and conventions. Lengthy glossaries thus emerged frequently
from the very ashes of their erstwhile antecedents. Trends in general were typified by verbal complexity and ponderous
pomposity. Lexical research itself suffered from an indirect, eructate erudition. Three titles from this period will suffice to
share this in kind: see The Cons Monumental Mons Veneris of Venality, Con-stipated and Stipulated with Con-
cordance, Ordinance and Ordnance, or Concepts of Concubinage and Concupiscence, Contingent on Congenital
Congress, Con-Traditions, Contradictions and Conditional Concord, or the less turgid Concepts (Classical Cons) of
Social and Intellectual Conceit: Viz Theological and Philosophical Cons Inducted for Simp Instruction prior to Secret
Topside Assignment (CF. ‘Cons for Con-founding Confucianism and Funding Capitalism’.)
It should be remembered that all our current information on the rate of language change during the ancient or classical period
of Hades suggests that change typically occurred very slowly over the millennia from 100,000 B.C. to the Mid-evil or Dark
Ages in Hell, and that extraordinarily conservative, even procrustean, attitudes existed with respect to matters of correctness
and the etiquette of proper speech in the classical period, although new coinages of terms and far-reaching concepts of an
epistemological nature were undoubtedly added to the growing corpus of neo-classical con-cepts. Demonic language is (and
has always been) intimately associated with the behavior of angelic demons. And demons, as organisms--including their
forms of art, social institutions, beliefs, reproductive system, forms of entertainment, legal systems, culture, and religions--are
so preoccupied with language that no single one of these features could have evolved independently of the others. This is
simply a way of pointing out that language is a formal symbolic system interconnected with all aspects of existence, and that
as demonic language evolved, it provided demons with new tools for cultivating the shape and behavior of the young, their
mental and sadistic inferiors, and thus the future of Hellish society.
Crudely put, it is fair to say that language and culture interact to foster the forms and institutions of society. This observation
provides a necessary basis for understanding how a language may record in its formal definitions, especially in its obsolete or
archaic forms, something of the nature and quality of life experienced by its speakers in an earlier period. That is to say, if
one investigates the nature of language change from an earlier to a later period, concentrating on the changes which have
occurred in the formal definitions of key terms, it is possible, with some degree of confidence, to infer something about the
way of life, the systems of belief, or the mentations of those speakers of a language now long dead or forgotten to
contemporary members of a society. Paleographic study (as this type of investigation is formally known) of several extant
manuscripts, dating from around the 60th to the 54th millenniums, indicates that significant forms of social change began to
emerge in the primordial pattern of existence in the late ancient or classical period. At around 60,000 B.C., from a gloss titled
Con-notative $-Concepts of Conflict and Con- flagration and a formal military dictionary entitled Scope [long range] Concepts
for Consecrating and Consolidating Conscience Money from Sniper Sects, for Services Rendered, we learn that
denominations of currency had entered the system for barter and exchange of goods and services that had preceded this
period. And that these new currency units were tied to payments made for military services rendered to the State. How
precise these units of exchange were and what form they were issued in, however, remains unclear, due to lack
of a standard for comparison with currency units in the modern period.
An additional clue to the significance of this alteration to the former pattern of simple barter comes from a currency gloss
dated at 57,010 B.C., Con-cepts of Exchange for the Mining Cops of Dis-Nation’s Wetback Immigration and Naturalization
Services, which reveals a currency was also issued for crude work in mining and milling operations, and that primitive notions
of a form of rural civil government had evolved among the out castes of demons. However, confusion about precise weights
and measurement or deliberate attempts to fiddle with the validity of early currency, weights or measurements appears to have
lead to civil disputes and the necessity for some form of primitive legal apparatus to settle such issues among demons. This
inference is strongly suggested by the study of a crudely written legal gloss concerned with defining Shell Games and
Convincing Currency Cons in Dis, which has been carbon dated to the period. Interestingly, it is also at this approximate time
that the classical term ‘Hades’ was superceded in the historical record with the term ‘DIS’. Some early manuscripts show
the use of both terms, with ‘DIS’ written over the term for ‘Hades’. A few scholars now believe the development of a formal
economy, based on currency rather than barter, encouraged demonic notions of a political nature and led to a more precise
understanding of the necessity for an imperial nation state with the power to monitor and control the exchange rates of its
official national currency. Whatever the truth of the matter, the historical record shows that such a national governmental
entity did emerge by about the 51st millennium (52,000-51,000 B.C.).
Consistent with the original purpose for Hell’s existence was its obligation to house the unrepentant souls of those once
mortal who had transgressed against the will of the divine creator. As most literate readers are undoubtedly aware, primordial
Hades, created by the minions of his Satanic Majesty, Satan Lucifer I, was the original abode or final resting place of those
descendents of Adam and Eve who failed to pass the entrance requirements for the creator’s ethereal paradise--Heaven. As
originally conceived, Hades was a dark shadowy domain, a plain of gloom where the souls of the lost and hopelessly depraved
were to remain incarcerated for eternity. However, there was no dispensation in the original covenant governing the
operations of Hades requiring that penitent souls be subjected to torture. Penitent souls were instead doomed to an eternity of
boredom, locked forever away from intellectual or emotional stimulation.
This condition appears, from all available records, to have persisted without any demonstrable change until that point when the
term ‘Hades’ was replaced with the new cognomen ‘DIS’ ... that is to say, with the appearance of currency in Hell. Thus, a
profound and deplorable truth adheres to the maxim, “Money is the root of all evil,” for concurrent with the evolution of a
currency based economy in DIS, the linguistic record shows a profound change in demonic ideation about the concept of the
soul. Suddenly, souls who for eons had simply been designated as ‘foreigners’, now were repudiated as reprobates, infidels,
inferiors, or as those who have failed to carry their fair share of the burdens of Dis, the State. This usage change was clearly
recorded on artifacts, clay, and documents dated following the inception of the so-called Dark Ages (circa 60,000 B.C.). Dis
Hic-Pangloss, said to have been a scribbler assigned to ‘flake duty’ [writing in stone], recorded such a usage in a word list he
chiseled onto a stone obelisk before the palace of DIS. Sometime later, new terms were added to his list and then committed
to a set of twenty baked clay tablets with the title Concepts of Souls Con-signed [Confined] in Con-Crete. These tablets,
however, were later misplaced or lost (or perhaps deliberately destroyed); thus present knowledge of them is fragmentary at
The first true dictionary in the modern sense was composed in the 40th millennium B.C., by a remarkable demonic scholar
known as Specutitis Wroth Pro-scabrous, a journeyman pilot who commanded a ‘thugboat’ engaged in ferrying souls across
the River Styx. This occupation apparently offered him ample opportunity to explore, and first-hand exposure to investigate,
the various dialects of Dis Spiranto spoken by inhabitants and travelers along the major tributaries of this important river
system. His principal work, Argot of the Soul Cannibals: Cons of the River Styx, provides lucid definitions for terms related
to early forms of soul torture and the emergence of cannibalism in DIS. Pro-scabrous also compiled extensive documentation
for two later works which were not completed in his demonic life period. His heir, Wo-scaboos II Scabrous, some time later
finished both manuscripts, said to have been first recorded on skin or animal hide, using a tattoo stylus to pierce the skin with
stains or dyes. These works, Fingers and Eyes: Icons, Cants and Secret Bribes, and the longer Corpus of Spitted Contortion:
Cock Pain Con-tests record ideation of a criminal bent, detailing a host of intimidating behaviors, rituals and other sadistic
practices perpetrated upon newly arriving souls, apparently as a form of entertainment or nazi diversion.
The period of the Dark Ages was marked by a gradual development of demonic institutions and abominable trends out of
which emerged a sharpened propensity to embrace ever more striking and horrendous forms of soul torture as the vast parade
of the centuries lumbered along the crude highways and rustic byways of DIS. Thousands of years had passed since the
great rivers of post-Plutonian antiquity first carved their channels through the ancient stone of the subcontinental land
masses. Hamlets had become towns, and the first tomb like cavern cities had begun to appear [where space permitted] in the
interior hollows of the earth. A modestly fruitful demonic middle class population had spread its seed to the sparsely inhabited
near-side boundary of the River Styx, and there were those with prescient sight whose writings foretold that one day even the
vast and root-bound territories of Limbo would be opened to the swarms of imperial aspirations.
As we move forward in time through the millennia, it becomes clear that demonic scholarship gradually evolved a more
rigorous set of procedures for the systematic sampling and recording of regional dialect forms. These included a conventional
system of phonetic symbols, with diacritic marks for recording regional (as well as virginal) pronunciations and a formal,
systematized alphabet which became a standard feature of the writing system by approximately 30,000 B.C. Early systems for
recording the terms of Neo-Dis-Spiranto and its predecessor Modred or Morder Ur-Spiranto used picture-writing or picto-
glyphs to represent various symbols, characters or signs. By 28,000 B.C., following the course of untold thousands of years
of this practice, these glyphs had evolved to become a cumbrous collection of some 220,000 complex and cryptic picture
patterns difficult to decipher and awkward to learn. To simplify the writing system had become, therefore, a primary concern
of those who were charged with the primary and secondary education of demons. The simplification process, or Simpleton
Movement as it was referred to in DIS, was a huge success largely owing to the efforts of BashoTitis of Flammaria, the
court-appointed philologist of Satan Lucifer IV, who was con-signed the task of synthesizing this cumbersome collection of
glyphs, in order-to develop a simple writing system to enhance financial and political record keeping tasks, thus improving the
efficiency and economy of the State. B.o.F.’s initial efforts lead eventually to a reduction of the writing system to some 2,213
characters by the year 30,000 B.C. Later scholars gradually reduced the character system, so that, by 10,000 B.C., the
modern Plutonian alphabet of DIS had fundamentally emerged. As a dialectician, B.o.F. is also remembered for his lengthy
dialect dictionary entitled Restructured Concepts for Deceit and the Promotion of Consecrated Consumerism which was
published posthumously, following an early termination of his life force by the State.
With the invention of a concise and easily mastered system of writing came an impressive flood of new publications in all
fields of demonic endeavor, including the field of dialect study in DIS. By 8000 B.C. alone, over twenty-two modern
dictionaries had been incorporated with existing sources, to serve a wide variety of purposes and specialized fields of interest.
A burgeoning preoccupation with rational thought had led as well to publications in many subjects, including (but not limited
to) biology, physics, chemistry, optics, mineralogy, geology, seismology, economics and electronics. Crude foundations
were laid also in such diverse medical fields as surgery, orthodontics, ophthalmology, cardiology, and the psychology and
neuro-anatomy of demons. Some appreciation for the wealth of new materials available to scholars of the period can be
obtained from the following list of dialect sources dating from the years 9000 to 4000 B.C. The reader should be aware that
each entry below represents a sizeable collection of concepts and that, usually, extensive documentation, charts, and
illustrations would accompany the specific lexical items represented.
On Defining Chemical Valence: The Properties of Trans-UR-anic Elements by Cryptoclasm Ur-gases, Flagellator of
Tarsus IV, 8989 B.C.
Concepts of Medical Contagion and Chemical Contamination, by Mon-Dragus de Medici, published circa 8400 B.C.
Categories of Poison for Politics and Social Purposes, an untitled publication, carbon-dated to approximately 8327 B.C. but
based on far earlier sources.
Spic-ulations on Science Concepts and Scientological Secrets, authored by Rashidi III of Styx-bi-Dis, circa 7783 B.C.
Concepts of the MAD P.F.a.C.T.S.: Physicists Fraternity Concerned with Thermal Contests and Discussions on
Concussions, penned by Fract-ur-Fract-OZ, Scien-tist of DIS, 7470 B.C.
Geologic Concepts viz Molten Conniptions, by Corpus IX, Director of Mines and Mining Operations, Imperial DIS Mining
District, c. 7271 B.C.
Concepts of the Abstract Math-Atom-Freaks, Dis-Unified in Marginal Conformity, authored by Eu-clay Epominidis of
Tractor VII, dated 6589 B.C.
Para-medical Concepts on the Anatomy of Demons, by Moses Galen, Surgical Direktor, Hospice of DIS at Pandemonium,
The Thunder Box of Concepts: Chemical and Biological Warfare Agents for Applied Demographic Research, by
Magnus Glabrus, Ordnance Specialist, Director of Level 9 Federal National Armory, HISS Imperial Secret Service publication,
Octo-dated 6241 B.C.
Cogitation and Anatomical.Speculations: Neuro-psychiatric Investigations Concerning the Biological Foundations of
Demonic Instincts and Language Acquisition Theory, by Leonitus Van Eyes, Professor Emeritus, Electric Chair of
Psychology, University of DIS at Dis-Paris, published 5899 B.C.
Optics and Uranography: Precepts of the Astronomy of Heavenly Bodies, by Polyphemus of Abdos, Astro-gator of
Imperial War College of DIS, Historic Imperial Secret Service science publication, Octo-dated Ides of March, 6426 B.C.
Omnicon of the Book of Knowledge: Dictionary of the Scientific Concepts So Encyclopedic of DIS-Nation, in 40 vols.
by the Uranic Society for Study of the Major Dialects of DIS Plutonian Terratories, published by Imperial Science Institute of
Pandemonium, Office of Pro-curator Advocatus Diaboli 4,117 B.C.
The era of the Dark Ages came to a close in 1854 A.D., the date now traditionally assigned to the inception of the Modern
Period. From 4000 B.C. to this critical juncture demarcating the end of this Dark era, momentous changes appeared in the
inhabited regions of imperial Hell, changes which led to a marked shift in the nature of dialect studies. Although exploration
of the Satanic regions mineral resources had opened new territories for the habitat of demons and the incarceration of
humanic souls, events on the surface had begun to produce widely distributed demographic trends of a disquieting nature for
By 4000 B.C. the domestication of plants and animals topside, by the descendants of Adam and Eve, had spawned a
considerable increase in the numbers of sedentary peoples. Shorn of the food supply problems of their previous nomadic and
tribal lifestyles, over the centuries leading to the modern period these agriculturally oriented populations gradually spread and
multiplied. From the foundations of agriculture rose trade; then great cities and civilizations (by historical standards) began to
evolve in many parts of the world, including the fertile areas of the Nile Valley in Egypt and between the Tigris and Euphrates
rivers of ancient Mesopotamia. As population pressures increased on the surface, so too did those pressures produce an
increasing flow of humanic souls to the nether regions. Bronze age (3500-1000 B.C.) and iron-age (1000 B.C.-100 A.D.)
warfare, organized on a scale far in excess of stone age levels, became itself an increasingly critical factor in the growth of
primary housing pressures in Hell during this time period.
The rise of the science of Hellish penology was apparently intimately related to the pattern of population growth experienced
in Hell during the 6,000 year period from 4000 B.C. to the modern age. The record of dialect studies bears out this
observation. The following major works, compiled by a host of organizations and institutions committed to penological
research and development efforts, clearly shows the shift in demonic mentations associated with a rising concern for those
environmental and public health problems produced by mounting humanic soul population pressures. The reader interested in
the historical antecedents of modern Hellish penological concepts is encouraged to study these sources carefully, as they are
rich in details of scholarly worth.
Concepts Concerning Humanic Souls' Connubial and Conjugal Misconduct, compiled by Cataphraxis of Calchis,
Institute of Humanic Studies Group for Transmigration of Souls, University of DIS at Pandemonium, 3871 B.C.
Degraded Forms of Dis-Spiranto: Humanic Soul Dialects of DIS, Directory of Humanic Linguistic Studies, 7,000
volumes, published in 3200 B.C. A major work detailing the phonemic, morphological and grammatical relationships between
Dis-Spiranto and prehistoric Proto-Indo-European, as well as Indo-European (the language family that includes most of those
spoken in Europe, and many of those spoken in southwestern India and Asia. Its principal branches are Indo-Iranian,
Armenian, Tocharian, Greek, Albanian, Italic, Celtic, Germanic, and Balto-Slavic).
Thesis and Treatise on Con-substantial and Substantial Relationship Twists, Twixt DIS and Topside Dialects,
published through the auspices of the GEEK Dark Institute for Study of Those Domino Theories Concerning DIS TRANS-
potting Karma Schtick, 8,127 volumes, (see University of DIS-Paris Archives), for Manunder 09, 2810 B.C.
Chronologicals of the Con-Federated Humanic Constituents, Stitched and Constricted in Concentric Con Drums,
Penological Institute for the Study of Compaction Policies and Practices, Federal Concentration Camp Drabo II Crossed
STYX, 2721 B.C.
Concepts Concerning Institutionalization of Humanic Souls: An Instructional Pamphlet for Historic Imperial Secret
Service Personnel Assigned to Camp Cadre Duty, by Glocken-spider von Krakow, HISS SS Security Detention Center,
Admissions and Administration Section, Imperial War College of Pandemonium, 2476 B.C.
Conceptions for Receptions of Humanic Convicts: Strata-fried Magma-Ports, Pestholes, and Other Precautions, by
Strabo, Warden of Camp Drabo VII Crossed Styx, published 2200 B.C.
Principles of Soul Farming: Ghetto Dialects of the Humanic Souls Consigned to Dis-Under Bottomside, by Ganges
Kansas, Scribe to Strabo II, Warden of Camp Drabo VII, dated 1800 B.C.
Cons of Topsider Confidence Scams Incorporating Currency, Credentials and Contracts, by Monsignor Strabismus,
Institute for Demonic Studies of Humanic Criminal Elements, University of Uranic Studies, Acropolis of DIS, 1643 B.C.
On the Relationship of Brain-bits and Alpha-bits: DIS-Spiranto and Topsider Alphabets, by Alfricative of Acheron,
Dean of the Institute for Glyphic Onomastics, College of Indo-European Language Studies, University of DIS at Dis-Paris,
Petroglyphs and Hieroglyphs: Degraded Signs and Writing Systems of the Con-tinental Penitentiaries Topside,
Foundation for Study of the Demographics of Humanic Soul Migrations, Imperial DIS Immemorial Crime-atoria, Penitentiary
XXXI, published 1404 B.C.
Dialects of the Trojan Thong Birds of Thanatos Camp III (croaked by the inmates themselves) recorded by Kalishnikov
of Stroth, CommanDante of Hiss Recidivists Regional Concentration Camp Complex, Limbo Division, published circa
Slang of the Aryan-Soul Slave Gangs, published 1171 B.C. by Daz-lo-floggus of Phestus, Principal Odd Job of DIS-
Department of Highways, Waterways and Bridges, Dis-Regions DIS.
Paramilitary Concepts for the Slammer-Cadres of Bottomside: Sadomacious Nights and Daily Cum Delights, by
Patroclus Dildo II, Demon Warden, Waz-Nazi Ghoul-Camp IX, published through auspices of Office of Direktor,
Territories and Trusts Division, Consolidated (*) Death Camps of Limbo, 969 B.C.
Chronologic of the Karma Cycle: Abstracts and Speculations on Space-Time Relativity Co-ordinates, by Adolphus
Himmlercus, Chairman of Demonic Physics, Institute for Seismic Studies, University of Phlegethon at Eniwetok, 724 B.C.
Time Modulations, Pulse Studies and Wave Theories viz The Karma of Humanic Soul Convicts, Plutonian Institute for
Wave and Particle Research Theory, HISS of DIS, Office of Wars n Weapons Research Projects, published 618 B.C., first
reprint 1833 A.D.
As the pace of dialect study hastened toward its inevitable culmination in the modern period, so too did the quaint rustic
patterns of existence that characterized the final millennia of the Dark Ages. Inevitably, the period from 2721 B.C. to the
nineteenth century A.D. was a time of profound societal dislocations and cultural transformations for the denizens and citizens
of the infernal regions. Change, it seems, remains the one unequivocal fact of creation, regardless of one’s personal
The contemporary state of DIS, like many modern civilizations, rose to its presently rampant proportions upon that
foundation laid by the state during the Dark Ages. By 400 B.C. the vast and craggy public stone works projects and penal
mining operations of the previous centuries had transformed the cavernous interiors of the earth into great roiling plains, upon
which vaulted arch-luminous landscapes stretched in eye staggering dimensions across thousands of kilometers of space. By
100 A.D. enormous edifices of stone, iron and bronze squatted or perched here and there, creating vistas of Promethean
incomprehensibility to astound the senses of the most seasoned travelers and others...
During the period 200-500 A.D. a series of state administered transport bureaucracies cobbled together a network of chalk,
bone and crushed granite highways connecting the regions of DIS with distant Limbo, and a security system of walls and
ramparts protected the lands, estates, and territories of imperial Hell from its predacious bureaucratic and predatory
governmental institutions. By 800 A.D. the state had completely institutionalized public universities, research centers, and
colleges for specialized studies in every conceivable field of endeavor, providing the demonic populations of Dis and Limbo
with cultural and intellectual simplification of a scope, scale and quality unparalleled throughout the ages of demonic existence.
Everywhere the eye of the traveler met feuding trade associations, plutocratic business parks, reckless industrial centers, slave
labor guilds, inquisitional amphitheaters, art and bone works, plazatorias, cairn libraries, soul market places, pit towns, tomb
cities, public magma baths, clip temples, sadoforums, public sewage systems, pimp tunnels, troll bridges, guadalcattle canals,
and corporeal supermarkets for demonic recreation and entertainment. And the rise of an architectural style known as
Behemoth Obelisk by 1200 A.D. had spattered the countryside with towering cavern-scrapers (skai) supported by
monumental buttresses, where ancient and cunning mentalities conceived of even more diabolical means and ends to
gluttony for the glorification of the State.
Meanwhile, as unparalleled as these public projects were in projecting the palpable potency of Hell, a program of federal
education reforms linked to the Simplification Movement had culminated by 1450 A.D. in a series of proclamations and
federal education codes bent upon reorganizing the academic curriculum for demons. For thousands of years the traditional
colleges and universities of Hell had promoted the advantages of a formal classical education with the curriculum designed to
acquaint their student bodies with the richness and variety of Plutonian traditions, legends, lore, and language instruction,
including the study of humanic languages, grouped under the rubric of the humanities (those human languages with structural
and morphological ties to DIS-Spiranto). However, rising costs (principally in the fields of weapons research) had begun to
dictate the necessity for a complete overhaul of this historical system, in order to promote those aims and ends planned for the
coming modern state. For this reason a gradual but compelling decline in the study of matters linguistical was a characteristic
of the six centuries leading to the year of enlightenment (1854) in DIS. Curiously, however, the demonic dialect sources
published during this period were marked by an unorthodox preoccupation with the forms and complexities of humanic soul
penitential activities. This disturbing observation is consistent with the dialect sources of the period, a brief citation of the
principals of which follows.
Cons for the Connoisseur of Congressional Contaminations, Including Contacts for Political Contributions, by Baku,
Bastard of Bablestock, Political Advisor to Outer Limbo’s Chief Administrative Officer, Uranic Crush and Carry Corpse Ltd.,
published 1060 A.D.
The Cons Tender T-bone: A Tinderbox of Con Games, with Autobiographies on the Chief Cons Responsible for
Carnage and Atrocity, by Rochester of Dark Fork, Spiritual Advisor to Black Pop Regnans of Murd, published 1177 A.D.
Con-games of the Mons Clandestined: Contorted Letters from the Fetter Cons of Dis, by Necrophilus of Necritis, Pit-
boss of the Imperial Pleasure Palace of DIS, 1242 A.D.
Cons Mounted by Demons on the Mons of Other Cons without Connections, published by Drugus fo’ VI, Direktor of
Theatrical Productions, Grand-o-pra of DIS Pleasure Palace, Pandemonium Annex, 1392 A.D.
Omnicon of the Flesh & Porno Trades in Bottomside-Id Lip Service, by Sid Sado-plated, Carnal Entertainment
Masticaterer, Circus Max-i-muscle, T.R.A.P. 12 (Theater ‘Round Audience Participation), published with positions and
diagrams, 1412 A.D.
Cons Mangled and Medicated for Amusement, by Throck Bester of Dis-Astoria, STAR Class Direktor for Motions Mush
anal Porn Flickers Page Digested, Limbo Conservatory for the Performing Arts, 1516 A.D (not to be confused with the Limbo
Conservancy for the Performing F.A.R.T.S. viz. Federal Atomic Research and Testing Stations, Limbo Division).
Rent a Concept: Sanctified Sex for Suckers and Sisters Dis-satisfied with Second best Suctions, Theater of the
Absurd, Diablo Tomb Station Zeta Complex, Federal Reformatory for the Provincial Territories, Quantum Mechanics
Subsection, by Re-actor IV, 1642 A.D. (now a rare collector’s item).
New Concepts in Entertainment for the Croons, Loons and Goons of DIS Government’s Gook Legions in
Penitentiary Service, by Waz, Proto Nazi of Kink, Fictive Dreamer, Institute for Humanic Souls Karma Corps Pre-staging,
Laser Physics Detention Section, SUCK Inc. Trans-potting Division, 1733 A.D.
As we approach the s-trumpet of language refrains in the final melody of the Dark Ages, currents and trends initiated in the
educational reforms of the past grew gravid with grave and grotesque images, while the flower of Demonic language
withered. Caught in the tar-like ink of Imperial laws and proclamations which directly encouraged illiteracy among the
general population through control of the sources of funds for the educational establishment (coupled with a willful appeal to
the worst qualities of Demonic character) the State advanced the careers of only the most aggressive and unscrupulous
Demons wedded by their special education to greed, lust, and an insatiable thirst for political power and status. Although
there remained an elite strain of citizens who received the concentrated benefits of a private, thorough and ruthless classical
education, from whose ranks the ruling classes were chosen, the typical adolescent demon was mindless, frivolous, and
unthinking, preoccupied with the pursuit of sadism and torture as a means of relieving the tedium and boredom common to a
lower caste fate. Shaped and shackled now by the darkest of mentations, the social and intellectual life of the general
population of demons plummeted to depths of depravity beyond the ability of standard English to convey. Systematically
degraded by the institutions of the state, which governed and shaped their lives, Demonic thoughts and aspirations, indeed the
very intelligence of demons grew cloudy, contaminated, poisoned by ignorance, intolerance, and hate. Ignorant of history,
indifferent to the lessons of the past, contemptuous of the great literary works of the ages and to the study of letters, lore and
legends, the society of Demons drifted into chaos, premeditated and endlessly regurgitated by the State.
By 1850 A.D. the Imperial government of Hell had become a colossus, unimaginably huge, its bureaucracies now boundless
from egg-sac to grave vessel, its Demonic employees essentially docile to directions from above, distracted by carnal sex,
institutionalized savagery and customized bribes. By Imperial order, the grave stones to the modern period had been laid to
rest. All that had gone before was now (almost) completely obliterated (including the nine caverns of ancient Hades) and in its
place was a sight no less stupendous to behold. For the same titanic forces that had marginalized Demonic society had
pulverized its territorial integrity of bedrock and stone. Although untold numbers of ancient relics and primitive souls now lay
broken and buried beneath billions of tons of atomized rubble, where classical Dis, the capital city, had once stood now
squatted the arachnoid architecture of New Babblesburg Dis of Pandemonium, awesome in its calculated sprawl across the
enormous 2600 kilometer wide, bowl shaped depression now commonly referred to as the Plains of Nagshima. Born from the
firestorms of atomic chaos, a quadrupling of Greater Hell had now been achieved, and below the central plain in descending
tiers lay the additional product of almost four hundred years of similar excavation, a colossal system of twenty-six caverns
dedicated to advance and technologically enhance the concentration camp complex above on the perimeter of the Plains of
Now socially and geologically consummated, the Plutonian Neo-scientific Period could arise from the ashes of the
Technocratic Waz-Nazi Movement, and the final chapter immortalizing Hell would be written in an atomic ink of vindication