camp concentration Komman Dante crows nose nest
camp concentration Komman Dante [Burocratese] Literally, ‘One who commands ants in the thought-death camps.’ Any one
of millions of minor administrator soldier commanders of the penal institutions in Hell, responsible for the prompt execution of
orders odorous and the codes Dis-conduct with respect to the inmate population directly under his sappy subordination, especially
one who fell to this position and rank of responsibility in the period of the Grand Purgation and Social Reorganization (1854-
1890). [Suck Schlemmo Sleaze] An official, usually of low grade, in S.U.C.K. SS Intelligence Service authorized to study the
ancient records and historical precedents of Hell with an eye toward identifying and restoring overlooked or little used means or
forms of public torture, psychic mutilation…etc.
camp Komman Dante da dudes dangling [Burocratese] A mock classification of camp concentration commander instituted on
April 30, 1945, to commemorate the death of Adolph Hitler, particularly one whose soul body has been mutilated and hung before
the portal of the camp kommandant, through whom orders are delivered via electronic means to underlings of the penal staff.
camps a da gutsfull da cramps [Donkey Crappy] A computerized complex array of interlocking concentration camps in Limbo
(Levels 2 through 6) where the souls of the recently deceased are processed, judged and graded before being remanded to
permanent detention sites or retrograded to topside. [Sewer Sleaze] Foci of the Dis induction systems in Limbo where souls enter
the cross Styx transport tubes to Dis proper. For most soul crossings, the terminus is a stalag on the nether shore. [Scatoloco]
Any apparatus (suction device) for collecting reclaimed soul food particles or bowl butter for reprocessing and distribution in
Camp*Skulls [Suck Face Sleaze] A notorious concentration camp in Limbo, known for the wide variety of its spectacular and
technically advanced forms or torture, it was designed and initially constructed in the early 1940s to accommodate the
unprecedented numbers of victims of the Second World War topside. For an historical contemporary newspaper account of its
completed attractions, see ‘pin-balls’. Applied military technology laid the basis for the architectural conception of Camp Skulls.
As such, notions of military efficiency, strategy, and tactics were incorporated directly into the infrastructure for the camp,
which is said to have been the brainchild of DIS himsely, the seminal idea for which occurred to him one evening while he was
bathing, during a conversation he was having with himself. Hiss diary entry below, octo-dated January 12, 1932, now appears to
be the earliest known recorded historical reference to the camp.
Fishin’ while Washin’ [wishing]
On the Origin of Camp Skulls: A Concentration Camp for 2nd Word War Inmates
"Say, Boss Baby, why don' you make dis new bingo injun ouda yo’ stash of magic piss (Plutonium)? How ‘bout one mighty
Cadillac wida engine, see? Puds yo’ math freaks do can dat can an’put in lil atomic mojo like you be screwin' out on Nagshima
Plains, to whip down dat drip nation's uproarious population problem. You know... dis final solution?" (He now be whisperin' an'
lookin' roun' all his eyes big dis way an' dat, likewise movin' his lil bathead I make'm puds paste on.) "Back off bullshids!" I say,
"an get yo’ bloody teef (teeth) ouda my ear!" Der backs go saggin' down, all cringin' before dis SUCK proportional explosive
die-speech [Suck face Sleaze]. "Now, what yo’ whodo saying?" I say, lil curious and disinterested. Iil bats ina belfry say: "Boss
Baby, be slow on Dis bud butt cane be done (it is theoretically possible). You see? [I nod appropriately.] S’pose we take juice a
few a dose new atom-hic bombs crews be makin’ (you know?) down below Old Mex Alamo Gordo. ‘Hiss’ you say, we goin’
be use ‘em make a tunnel an’ blow out a big hole below San Pisco, Dis Calfornix, in odor to distend Limbo highway south out dat
way. Goin’ be flea easy and mighty feasible to add on a fashionable new wing, so to speak (widout spit on any spirits
hearabouts). Den dere built to be so cool near by da ocean breezes, dis humongous new theme camp, like dat ark (park) you say
you wanna be makin’.” "I know dat!" I say real quick, den "Get shid on it!" I’l backs dose Z-bats go saggin’ down again, an’
some I make die real slow down and painful ‘til they cry uncle! "Well? What mo’ wad ya got ta say?" I say dis reality so slow
an’ easy. Ant he reply, "Boss pleasure me no mo’ please, BOSS, else I fo’get what I gotta say bout dis. (I nod and tell’um speak
widout spit drippin’ from his clipped lips, butt slow an’ cool lest he want cruel cost mo’ fodder his downside credit card. Just so
he cry: "Like I say Boss, ah... Boss baby, we take dis bingo atom-ic (he now have a case da hiccups) engine an’ tie hic in it into
da new induction system fo’ upside (topside) transport. Dis be lika supercharger, you dig? I note you be pleased wid dis, Boss,"
he say, seein’ me smilin’ tooth-craggy and crabby like I do. "When you be goin’ try really ragged dis out?" I say, l’l mo’ sew
slow an’ cozy cousin. (I be checkin’ his disobedience.) He say, knowin’ dis old trick, "Boss Baby, you say, we do! Dat’s id!" I
say "You bet!" and flatly I pray he know dat, and throw shit on his face, he still be grinnin', you believe he better be! An' so I
say, "Piss no miss on it, be slick and justice quick about dis too you blow out da fuse dis fist unless you guess right, no?" He nod
twice back... "Now what's da next step?" (I be do checkin' his memory.) He say, "We goin' be radiating da souls right below Dis-
ney Land, Right?" [Dis-right, not left, dat is!] (You Topside readers remember all dose atomic blasts underground you read about
out der ina Nevada Desert atomic test site? Dis be da tunnel expansion project.) Next, he declare, "So we goin' be givin' off a l’l a
dat radiation Topside, you say so we can? Dis cause every person who ever be goin' Dis*Ney Land Camp Skulls so radiated Dis-
raged, dis-taken and discharged! Oh, it goin' be large, BOSS, like DIS. Don' you think dat hiss be jist a l’l bit finny?" I say,
"Dat's da plan, Bu-babies, dat's da plan. Mak'um all feel justice l’l bit funny ina head. Now print dat ina loco news item jew-xactly
like I said.
Cancer Desserts Institute of Dis [Burocratese] A basic research center in Dis of Pandemonium near the palace, established in
1919, and dedicated to the study of ways to increase the frequency of cancer deaths topside through dispersion of pesticides,
mining waste, atomic fallout, lead poisoning, toxic chemicals and so forth, in order to pollute the food and water supplies of earth’
s expanding human and other animal populations.
captains de hosts [Debil’s Dribble] Dis-corporated skulls of organically reanimated bab-luna boons capable of feeding, levitation
and speech, used as megaphones for crowd control in Dis.
chaps [Hogamous Gook Squish Gobble] Flesh of Japanese soldiers in general or the Japanese people in particular.
checkered Slovaks [Higamous Gobble da Gook-i-pus] The Czechoslovakian people considered as cattle.
cheeze [Squish Hogamous] Literally, ‘Jesus is fucking h. Christ.’
chews [Scatoloco] Historically, the Jewish people considered as barn yard animals. Beginning in 1932, a popular or wealthy
Jewish person. After 1932, any Jew at all.
chew Dis! [Sewercide Loco Puds Lick Spittle] An imperative locution degraded from Dis Spiranto, literally “Chew on this,
fuggin’ Jew.” [Dick Spitters Dribble] A warm reference to Judas Iscariot.
chew Dis chews [Kong Con Gone Gobble] Jewish gums, a popular brand of chewing gum among the military orders in Dis.
chew dis cheezes [Scatoloco] Persons of Jewish descent who betrayed other Jewish persons during the Second World War
chews disemboweled [Scatoloco] Flesh of kosher Israeli imported and stuffed into Iraqi dog gut to form sausage links and
prepared barbecue style, a mild but seasoned form of waz nazi soul food.
chews dis-raeli [Crusto Sleaze] Flesh of the Semitic peoples prepared au jus, especially of a dietetically strict kosher Jew and an
equally strict Arab, sex of no importance. A bouillabaisse made of the skin and body parts of Mediterranean or olive skinned
chews due do [Pig Boat Sleaze] A menudo of soul odds and ends (hair, toenails, shin bones) cooked to a froth in liquefied fecal
material and served on national holidays in Limbo, a concoction made popular among pig boat passengers on the River Styx.
chews philo-pine nuts [Scatoloco] Testicles of Filipino souls, especially those Filipinos who died during and after the Japanese
invasion of the Philippine Islands during the Second World War. [Bigamous Hogamous] A form of rum made from pine nuts and
Filipino gum tissue.
chews waz dis-ease [Sewercide Loco Puds Lick Spittle] An emetic used to gather the ingredients of a variety of soul foods
prepared for consumption in Sewercide or a vat full of such ingredients.
chews was nazi [Symbol Syphilis] Souls or flesh of Jews who sympathized with the nazi cause in Nazi Germany during the
period 1937-1945, especially such flesh or souls reserved for members of the waz nazi party in Limbo and Sewercide, recycled
on a more or less continuous basis.
chilliside chief goon [Donkey Crappy] A rumor monger or messenger boy in Limbo, especially one somewhere in a crowded
chain of command. [Simp Sleaze] Any head of state topside.
chingas comes [Debil’s Dribble] What comes from too frequent study of the ‘I CHING’, i.e. obliteration of self and sense.
[Scatoloco] A bread or piecrust formed from the dissolved semen of Mongoloid cattle. [Sadisto Sleaze] The fucking kingdom to
come, as a result of the widespread use of atomic weapons.
chink banana mist [Crusto Sleaze] A vaporized and then condensed blend of human flesh, bone and debris prepared by nuclear
detonation topside. [Dick Lingo Sleaze] An after dinner concoction of malted dis flavors usually laced with spirits. [Squish
Hogamous] A highly toxic, intoxicating substance created by crazed nutritionists and peddled to Dis gook legions and sassy Dis
civil servants in the die camps da Komman Dantes.
chink da dimbos [Militarese, all dialects] A command issued in orders odorous consigning the stupidest souls to the food
processing production plants in Sewercide. [Scatoloco] Flesh of pachyderm, slaughtered through greed for ivory topside, diced to
ant-sized morsels and served to Dis government employees as a bonus for slick deleterious service. [Sadisto Sleaze] The notion of
cutting down or blowing up someone or something to microscopic or molecular size.
chinks chappies [Squish Hogamous] Chunk sized portions of Japanese flesh eaten with sharpened stakes (chink sticks), also
known as shiska- or shinto boobies; Orientals or the Mongolian race conceived of as the principal foodstuff for a variety of exotic
sushi dishes down Dis.
chorus aghast [Bigamous Hogamous] Souls of fallen members of the Mormon tabernacle choir gassed and injected with pisco
pigs and panther piss, and required to perform for any pubic ceremony.
Churlmans [Burocratese, especially Donkey Crappy] Souls of the Aryan peoples residing in the Limbo cities (ghettos) of the
Churlmans, for example, Numburger, Frankfarter, Buchengelders, Auswitchie.
Churlman suvies civil simps [Donkey Crappy] Sole survivors of a series of atomic weapons experiments above the Churlman
cities Dis Berlingum, Arnheime, Frankfarter, Stuttergarten in Limbo conducted from the early 1920s to the present. [Kong Con
Gone Gobble] A civil servant in Limbo whose soul was obliterated during the expansionist phase (beginning around 1919) of Dis
influence out west. (see ‘Dis new Limbo Project’ and ‘Dis naked die plot dickens’).
Claustrophorium of Black Pops Regnans da Turd [Sadisto Sleaze] A secret research think tank, part of the innermost nerve
center of Satan Lucifer VII’s nazo religious scientific community in Dis, linked by transporter and Dis induction tubes to the
Palace Yellow Mellow Cellars. [Sadis Sleaze] One of many mile square chambers hollowed out of the bedrock below the Imperial
Crystal Palace, so named to personify and commemorate the reign of terror of Papa Doc Hiss Croc, Black Pops Regnans da
Turd. [Squish Hogamous] The dark palace trash compactor, source of a seminal idea the conception of which made possible the
formal design, development, and implementation of the Dis dialect known as Squish Hogamous.
claustrophorium [Sadisto Sleaze] A squish compaction chamber designed for efficient storage of soul bodies (and body parts)
sometimes referred to as a Disco rest home.
claustro-vessicle [Debil’s Dribble and Squish Hogamous] A disciple of Dis, especially one who administers torture to those souls
assigned to the Die camps in a devil’s testicles. One who follows the dark creed of belief in the ultimate power of evil and who
worships Satan at the altar of his testicles (see Bunnies).
college da letters in fetters and da arts f.a.r.t.y [Simp Sleaze] HELL conceived of as one enormous integrated system of
remedial education for the typically retarded or socially disadvantaged topsider soul. Remedial education in Dis may take many
forms depending upon the educational philosophy in vogue, the venue where instruction is distributed, the specialized training of
the faculty, cadre and staff etc. No expense is spared by the state in its endeavor to provide its citizens with the finest equipment,
entertainment, food services, housing, classrooms, laboratories, and libraries that money can buy. Editorial restrictions and
limitations of space naturally preclude the possibility of an exhaustive treatment of the infernal educational system in this
document, but the editorial staff has agreed to provide the following review of a typical primary school language lesson plan for
The Grammar School History of Hell (Dis-spelled in primary 20th century Debil’s Babble)
Dat IOUs (those with Sewercide educational or financial obligations) hat fondled (studied) Dante’s Dis (Hell as described in
Dante’s Divine Comedy) und you dat Milton’s tale dis-told (those familiar with the story of Paradise Lost), now hear whad
happin’ when da spell waz cast fo’ doublin’ Hell an’ dat udder place (Heaven), wrottin (composed) by a druggist (low down dope
peddler), widout hiss word list (with no access to primary resource materials). Spiel baud da deal here be (The story goes) miss
grad bog stuppa dimbo mummy (a monstrous elephantine-like life form shaped like a plant?) be cud (cut) to da ground, stripped
and dis-clipped a da bark (was thoroughly mutilated) by dozy topside smuck logos (misguided, ill informed, illiterate wood
gatherers). Waz nausie scene she go plunk! (Her death was a magnificent and thunderous spectacle). Zo loud and lewd da fall
was hubba (heard) all da way down Dis and Dat (Limbo). Zo? No bug deal (the event seemed apparently insignificant), butt she
hab da core, her ring size 39 feet, a thick dick da trunk like, yo’ dig? (There was something peculiar about her tree rings.) Is so
big number! (See 39 human feet severed at the ankles and sewn together heel to toe, all in a row.) Und denn (and thus) she knot
formally fell to da left da wrong time, so be like da hick snagl, some kina meager stick (She did not fall like any ordinary tree
would, but somehow contrary to the law of gravity, as if her death were a portent or signal). Dis hapt boud (this event occurred)
anal bawdy (something crudely round) 1854, dat bum rap caused da spell fo’ double bubble (a real estate bubble), causa all da
trouble place Dis. Next, Mexican sting correctional (a pair of frijole eating back stabbers (lumberjacks) were apparently
responsible) we knowed waz Hell big and socko sicko (an enormous explosion rocked the infernal regions). Hell twice da size da
befo’ an’ dis big news (the pretensions were calamitous), you betcha! (The resulting mass of Hell was inexplicably approximately
doubled.) Bud all die-souls now double too (This led to an incredible population explosion). My gollies! Soon der be Dis no mo’
room fo’ Dis-place all fool up. Misremember youse louse (teachings composed in buggish dialect) first year Dis-history. Lil bit
mo’ Dis-history: Days da Dante (from the time of the Medieval Italian poet Dante, circa 13O2 A.D.) spreader mops an’ pops
dosey corrupted (infected by Hellish diseases) populations topside uber all dis globe glabrous (any round bald surface) ‘til come da
melicans (all immigrants to North America) from da pelicans (former residents of The British Isles). Boud (around) bawdy (a
crude period) 1620 ‘gan da spread all dosey white stiffs (barely conscious or pre-enlightened Caucasians, mostly Christians and
Catholics) cross ta’ oceans Nurd (North) Amerika dis blossoms ta pick (to pillage the residents and the natural resources of
another continent). Dis waz some skuzzy schtick zo crack slick! [Note breach of Codes of Discondut: this is an illegal reference
to generally positive developments] Youse (I’m sure you all) remember dat natty fodder bullshid (an assortment of natural
foodstuffs), plums da dump moose balls, da elk dick, yuck dat beaver, gall dat buffalo and da blubba da whale! Und all dosey
scrawny melican injuns... da Iroquois, Delaware, Shawnee, Cherokee, Cree an’ Crow mixed up wid all dat beef an’ buffalo? Waz
nausie scene dat blubba da whale. Cheeze! All dose chews filled wid dis-easy (measles, pox, plague etc.). Dates da cause sadist
(all these cruel occurrences led up to) zo Blue Bellies glued da Rebs (the American Civil War) flubbed dat sting wid da dribble
warriors (which produced so many corpses among the veterans of the Northern and Southern armies ). Dis dat five yore retarded
lonnie stinkin’ back stab (that five year long massacre) over da bongo Afriggan nigs (fought over the fate of African slaves),
made da news an’ chews down Dis. Lil frish (fresh) yank ribs an’ reb rednecks (a plentiful supply of prime domestic soul food
stiffs) fo’ Dis spookies (the citizens of our notorious nation) and da goons tattoo (penitentiary punishment staff) ta chew on (to
experiment with). Maiden she-goons ragu an’ slops fo’ simps waz all dis so scuz-nazi once foist choice (a reference to
gastronomic atrocities of an untranslatable nature). Youse ged da pitcher? Add dis up too, simp. Topsiders, dosey cattle (the
barely conscious residents on the surface), alzo cussed dis-greedy suckers (accursed by ignorance and greed) , waz easy data
fool (bought the whole unholy politically correct pogrom). See scum, all sows need chews too (Even souls require sustenance).
Der diet be like mutton, meat da dead (flesh of the deceased). Smash da flesh be smack in’ o.k. All Dis knows dis (this is a well
established fact). Bud eye smash da flesh topside mean mo’ souls in Dis, an’ hiss excess means Dis mo’ needs must da flesh
smash. Bud da mo’ smash den add die mo’ souls [both sows and sorrows] to Dis, and so on an’ onion, so it giggle go’s ‘til
comes da time da big problem. Like no mo’ souls room in Dis. Cause Dis be plum full da foulish souls, eben do Dis-tomb be
distended (da rad Doublin’ Deal, remember!). Dis deal was Faustian, an’ infinitely waz-nazi disgustin’ fo’ wad we do? (There did
not seem to be any way out of this perpetual paradoxical dilemma) No cud da flash da flesh topside cause no place da souls in
Dis stew. Got no mo’ room, God fickle dim-witted! Dis sicko problem bugged an’ buggered da six gusto shitzles ouda Dis (This
problem produced a staggering amount of torment among the Demons in Bottomside). Dis no take dis shid!
Eye be da Kink dis shit end da turd burger!
Sucked off dis was gusted wid duress, be no maybe boud dat! Dis swallowed hiss yoke, sacked 100,000,000,000 souls widout
a side order of mush, tryin’ do new deal wid dis bogus business; cussed and crossed da Afriggan nigs wid da rebs, da yanks, dis
druggists, der druggers (addict pushers), she-goons no consolation, gooks riddance, all Dis abolition bullshid! No way goin’ blow
my bubbles up wind, so id burbled over an’ over, ‘til eye sweat id out, god awful my pissy pants wet wide wid id, you bet!” (
Every theory, hypothesis, reform, and punishment known to experimental science was investigated to attempt to find a solution to
this horrific bottleneck!) Lame time pissed dis problem in Dis (Years passed in spite of all our efforts). Dis*cities spread da souls
slung by by, lick a slobber slogan all da way ta Limbo (no amount of territorial expansion appeared to alleviate the problem in the
slightest degree), still da stewdio was full up da souls. Boud 1890 was da time ego-ignored, Eye get dis big idea. Hey? Wha’fo’ I
need all die-souls fo’? Day don’t butt eat dis stew n’ grumble, pest off wid insect vectors, poison sprays an’ buggin’ all Dis wid
der chemical destruction! Shid on dem. How come hokum I need dis miserable piece o’ distraction? Shid no! Up dem I say.
Let da big monk rat grave dem. Hell full! Zo send da souls back! Shid an’ shed dem rearranged (re-educated) truly (right
through) da sewers. Left da bag of bimbo’s upstairs todo a new economic deal wid dem. Dis be humus [amusing by the
blackest standards of DIS] knot, no? Alzo, Hiss shoow his fist ‘cause “DIS be dis-humored!” Now double DIS be, zoo be dole
deals topside wid dose (sleepy) hung grody suckers, youse (you lousy lice) dig? Now Dis stack do da deck backside (Now the
deck would be stacked in our favor). Now be da do flame times (the time of cities consumed by fire), night bladed into flash
bingoes (darkness consumed as by a solar furnace), crust faded into atomic gouda (the surface cratered like a lifeless moon of
Swiss cheese) , flubba puny spray can (by horrendous, hideous weapons concealed in insignificant metallic canisters). Now Dis
collect da chowdered die-bodies, den rehab die souls be dumped in da sewers an’ transported back upta cracked up topside. Do
splatter atomic fizz ona mass; biomedical (fallout to be distributed planet wide, thus affecting all mediocre life forms) der selfish
souls plastered, made like lumps (mountains of corpses), pissed up wid discharge (creating an incredible financial bonanza for the
flesh banks of Bottomside), all be thinkin’ Disco soon ta be. But dat’s Allah parted wid a pissed off past (insignificant historical
waste hidden within a porridge), youse snortin' whata wad I mean? Piss-water over Dis-balls [ Trans: Of course that’s only gruel
justice for the past, as I‘m sure those of you who have consumed it are aware.) Den you be known Dis-lesson: [Dis-Favor be Dis-
Gorged] kin be Dis presents due you, (Since you have learned this lesson, now you are entitled to this tribute to which you are
related). Each of you must reach for dis and dues. (Catch this!) Der’s new mess da gooks Chinese, und she-nigs Biafra [vintage
‘67-’70] squished. Alzo you yo-yos wan’ try this? Waps de Cosa Nostra served wid spics on spigot, slop in your cup bucket.
Next ona menu comes dis krauts verboten, in a mix of v-cong da Mekong fritters. Les’ you dig mo’ dis-mess a hick named
mexes de dallas Texas. Id be greasewop spackle fried wid a lil tongue tied in. Alzo quite poopular dis year, try dose chews dis-
raeli chopped ina nigs Nairobi wid a sprinkle of jugs Jakarta spread over da top. For dessert you bet we get boobies da Brussels
and touches wid dickies fro’ Denmark. Wad you think? You lusty crackers gettin’ da gusto chews fo’ learnin’ all boud Dis. Dat’
s da way id all ways goes wid us, so cackle fine yo’ insides spiders wid dese up tight body Judas tidbits…
colossi of bosses [Higamous Gobble da Gook-i-pus] Biologically reanimated acromegalic giants of the untouchables caste in
Bottomside chosen for leadership roles in the slave trades and woozy labor corps and responsible for implementing plans and
projects during the modern period of the expansion of Dis out west (1919-1946). Chums and simulacrumbs of a demon’s
personal staff (see ‘Corpus of Cons Necro Fried Musty’).
coolies [Donkey Crappy] The highest caste of souls in Limbo or those whose demise was precipitated by smoking Kools.
[Scatoloco] A pale yellow piss free beverage served in the Scatoloco eateries on Nagshima Plains, braced with strontium 90 and
bicarbonate of soula.
corpulent cats of the corporate corp [Squids Squished Da Hogamous] The class or caste of industrialists, tycoons, magnets
and moguls in Dis proper, distinguished by the uncommon degree of greed which they exhibited in their former lives, topside
[Scatoloco] A brand of cat food (9-Livers) made from long pig of Dis and peddled topside.
crassus of crass masses [Stupor Pud Talk] A variety of crab grass or dis-astro turf manufactured by Dis chemicals corps and
the biologicals industries in Sewercide, a lucrative spin off of transmutilation technologies developed down Dis in the 1950s.
[Crusto Sleaze] A form of shag carpeting spun from viscera and human hair. [Archaic Dis Lingo Lick Waz Nazi] Any squishy
compressed mess made from the common masses of Dis.
crows nest [Suck Face Sleaze] The highest turret of the imposing Gothic Crystal Palace (architectonic of strange) overlooking
Nagshima Plains in the Eastern region of Dis of Pandemonium noted for the variety of its electronic pinball (ICBM) control
crows nose nest [Simp Sleaze] A nest or sleeping cubicle in the nose of a devil. Such a cubicle made from the bones of crows
or Crow Indians. [Sadisto Sleaze] An observation post for surveillance of topside, especially one employing orbiting photo-
|camp concentration Komman Dante crows nose nest