|Abominations of Dis a-1 schlemmo do baby
Abominations of Dis Literally, “A bomb in the nations of Hell.” [Burocratese] The infernal military industrial complex of Hell,
including the atomic industrial forum and the consolidated weaponry research institutes whose principal aim is the development,
testing and manufacture of weapons of mass destruction. [Scatoloco] A nuclear weapons storage facility in Dis nation. [Dick
Lingo Sleaze] A clandestine plan hatched by Satan Lucifer VII as a solution to recurrent Dis over population problems.
Abnazi reverence [Pig Boat Sleaze and Dis Lingo Lick Waz Nazi] The inclination, however slight, to embrace nazi tendencies;
the profession of nazi thinking; the simulation or emulation of nazi style in dress; a form of blind obedience and moral sterility
revered by followers of nazi beliefs or ideas; a reverence of things nazi, including the collection or display of nazi artifacts, flags,
insignia, clothing, weapons, propaganda, spectacles, teeth, dental gold, body parts, etc.
aea cons of industry [Sewer Sleaze] Criminally insane souls, the highest order of ‘cons’, particularly those who rose to
positions of great wealth and power in the munitions and weapons industry topside, assigned to the lowest echelons of service in
the flesh trade or body parts markets of Bottomside.
Afghan gorilla dogs [Simp Sleaze] A popular soul food containing flesh of dog (Canis familiaris) ground up or pulverized with
the shredded remains of Afghanistani freedom fighters, stuffed into gorilla entrails, shaped in the form of a frankfurter, and sold
on marginal apostate holidays in DIS.
Afrigan nigs [Sadisto Sleaze] Dark angels of the elite imperial palace guard. [Scatoloco] French-fried African, Afrikaner, or
South African, shaped in the form of diced or shredded potatoes.
Afrigan sand nigs [Simp Sleaze] Believers in Islam or the Islamic peoples in general, considered as an inferior breed of cattle...
all Dis mighty [Burocratese] The collective imperial might of Dis in discord and dissonance; a noise equal to the proportions of
Dis. Literally, ‘as powerful as Dis; Dis is all mighty’; a reference to the splendor and pageantry of Hell.
All ill wills [Hogamous Sleaze] The accumulative population of souls in all levels of Limbo and Hell proper, regardless of rank,
degree, sentence or position. In Militarese the expression constitutes a formal command to attention and obedience.
alzo swollen [all modern dialects] Literally, ‘This swill you must swallow’ (accept); in addition; also...
Anal Retentive Fixations on the History of the Camps Komman-Dantes by Satan Lucifer VII
Those of you who have read Dante must realize that his historical account of Hell in the Divine Comedy provided many excellent
ideas for running Dis Joint da Bighouse, Bughouse ana White House. I assure you that I have read his masterful narrative with
midlin' interest and disapprove of his generally vicious brand of organized penology. His ideas made a low grade deal of sense for
his day and age, although he thought on a scale much too restricted for the day to day realities of DIS. Those who are familiar
with the geometrical structure of his universal system of justice will recall that Dante conceived of forms of everlasting
punishment as befitting the crimes themselves.The more extreme the crime and the cruelty thereof, the more extreme the
punishment thereby. His was a simple case of an eye for an eye, and so he tried to be logical about DIS. But HELL is not
logical, and therein lay his great weakness! Dante had apparently reasoned that "Mo’ bad yo’ yo-yo act Topside an' yo’ crime,
mo’ better yo’ suffer down Dis. Hence mo’ low down yo’ be, mo’ low down yo’ be placed dis-place! You see?" But this is
altogether too sensible, and far too predictable for me. This fate is just too obvious. Therefore it does not share the hot justice
nor electrified juice potential for terror. You will not be terrified of your fate for long if you know your fate. Because you will
soon become habituated to it. Instead, what is genuinely terrifying is not to know your fate, and to be kept perpetually paranoid
and in the dark about it, forever, don' you see ... Fear of the unknown is much more deadly and efficient for purposes of terror
than fear of the known. One punishment repeated over and over simply tends eventually to become monotonous. And that is
why it is necessary in Hell to be concerned with changing the names and forms of things like the monopolies and distrusts. What,
then, is the obvious solution? That is easy. The solution is to make change unpredictable, the only constant in the diet of DIS.
Therefore, no matter where you are, no matter where your id is frying, you will be trying to fathom it, and the more mixed up
you get, the more terrified you will be, don't you finally see? Thus, this is the form that penitential evolution has taken in HELL,
for quite a significant spell now. And though you may not realize it yet, this is a truth of B-1 magnitude concerning justice in
DIS. For if you try to find some form of heaven topside, you can bet you're going to have to put up with a whole lot of Hell.
But most of you will be full of Hell anyhow once I initiate the final big cook-off, Dis-final solution that my kookie cooks have
anthems inglorious [Burocratese, especially Stupor Pud Talk] Songs of state dedicated to the veneration of cruelty and the
perpetuation of evil, croaked on high state or status occasions or during important asocial or political affairs, such as con-
vocation or initiation ceremonies in Dis government bureaus, banks, stalags, camps, courts for prejudicial proceedings or soul
food processing centers, on special holidays or before state sponsored ritual feeding frenzies.
Argentine beaners Belgrando da Melicans wid brutish lion livers an’ chippies lips [Scatological Sleaze] A kind of soul food
pizza, heavily seasoned with latent missile fuel, first made fashionable in the early 1980’s in Sewercide, following the sinking of
the Argentine navy cruiser, the General Belgrano, during the Falklands war.
atomic squid [Militarese] A patriotic reference to Dis navy’s naval evil, the Trident or Plutonian class of nuclear submarine,
especially a nuclear submarine assigned to ferry souls across the depths of the River Styx, from Limbo to the farside offloading
inductor terminals beyond Level 6 (see ‘pig boat’). [Simp Sleaze] Such a submarine equipped to capture its daily bogey of souls
by use of nuclear missiles, or a MAO (mobile atomic oven).
atomo sleaze [Suck Face Sleaze] A severe speech dysfunction or, in the opinion of some, a new form of communication
characterized by sputtering, tongue thrusting and ejected spittle, which appeared abruptly and spread quickly across immense
territory, including international boundaries in Hell, subsequent to extensive nuclear weapons testing associated with government
population control measures on Nagshima Plains, during the period 1920-1940 in DIS. (For additional details, see ‘F.A.R.T.S.
(Cantons)’ as well as ‘Dis loyal dissidents’, and ‘Dis regions [critically] dis-assembled’.)
Auschwitz sandwich and buchen burgers [Die Camps Logo a la Gogo] A kosher soul food, a fatless patty, designed for late
morning or light afternoon luncheons, originally prepared skinless, in the ovens of two of the most notorious nazi concentration
camps during the genocidal period of nazi domination topside, 1937-1945. [Squish Hogamous] A popular pig boat lunch entree,
‘salted soul’ served roasted over crumbs of dark brown peoples bread, with a spread of puree-fied (vaporized) skin obtained
(flensed) from a diet camp in Limbo.
auto crazies [Proppo Graffiti Jive] Proponents, advocates or adherents of the cult of the automobile; the souls of those humans
who make a religion of the internal combustion engine.
a-1 schlemmo do baby [Suck Schlemmo Sleaze and Bigamous Hogamous] A soul sentenced to permanent (low grade) public
schlemmo service, (i.e.) to the crudest forms of sexual abasement in Sewercide, as a consequence of failure to perform adequate
schlemmo following mandatory personal instruction by a bona fide schlemmo master; one who performs any of a wide variety of
kinky sexual acts for patrons in the better Dis n’Dat public urinals. [Dick Lingo Sleaze] a public cocksucker.
Schlemmo service in all its forms in Dis is rigidly controlled and licensed by authorities of the state. Periodic, carefully examined
reviews of schlemmo practices and practitioners are prepared for distribution to senior government officials for their personal
review, as schlemmo artists are keenly saught after and compensated for their ‘specialties’ which the atypical review below
Schlemmo Central Directive from Porn Submarine*Section, suck data function
Prepared by Mild Suction Chief, Miles of Mills Slaw McGraw Hills for circulation, October, 1946:
Dis suck-a-hunch report examines one she-goon maggot hic-named lil Eva Braun (a.k.a. Slowmo Schlemmo) she like to chew
down limbo timber, you dig? Her bottomside ranking is a-10 sauce of schlemmo-do baby! Dis lilly lipper alleged to be da spook
da puta peper snot in Big Daddy's stew, while she do schlemmo wid da dong end a Hiss testo-snozzle! He put da bite on her soul
fo' do Dis-service. You be recognizin' her by da bite, Hiss Sign Mark, in tree places, one on 'er budhole an' one on each her
droopies (her upper and lower lips). All six Hiss teeth in a black star pattern (-*-) so so. Attention: be on da lookout fo' her,
'cause da Boss wan's mo' her dis-traction. Report on her schlemmo say her schlemmo-master, hic-named Nip Suck Lung Any
Pudes Pudenda: Lil Eva she do schlemmo fine stuff. Got a file fine set of teeth she take out if you want deep schlemmo. She
such a sheep suck shape, she be liberal, lickin' shid on yo’ face you say so. Do puds constipated round ear, don't make no
difference, stiff's up! Be no sucker secret boud dat. She lick sleaze off yo’ lips, she pud-dunk any rot way you say. Do dog
licks, humpy rump, and all manner of frumpy bumpkin round da world. She know slots n’ slutzies, she do fine Chinks' Dick
Slapstick, Stump dip, Touches da Shussians, Greek Freakies, an' oil dose Sado-Mal-Functions an' Maso-Kissies freakin
sodomacious. In fuckin' fact, she now be Black Belt Cuna Lick, an' Blue Gater in Kum-Trick. Kong Prick she no know (you bet
I check on dat!) Hear da poop Hiss Dis-Turker puttin' out: Big Boss Dick occasionally bodiddle an' cop a feel, piddle, an’ hickey
wid a box car or two concentration camp box car load of newly inducted mealy mouthed gal spooks he be ordered sent down
weekly to his Dick Diggins ina Crust-o-Matic Sado-sex Flop-House he call HISS Stukkas et Stuttgart. (But all know is one of his
Sado-Induction Chambers.) Every ill ol' while he get feelin' piss-schmauchy an' a lick-clitty, he say to da bugger-boy goons roun'
da palace: "Hey spook, shid on yo’ face! (Spooks do dis do-do immediately or double-die laughin'.) Dis wanna suck ona lollipop!
Cop a-lotta Carlotta mops on his deca pubes!" Den Hiss be doin' dis night after day fo' weeks... Den he rip 'em up, slit quick, and
ship 'em; send 'em downtown Slot City sewer fo' lil loco vacation, concentration style, you dig? Be no rest and relaxation at all,
you bet! You wan' hear mo' dese ill licks? Hum baby? I be tempting you little bugger bits? Don' you come on down a snort or
two an we can get id on, you frickin' crumb dummy! I puta some sprouts bamboo in yo’ mud mouth for two, unless you find ill
missy Dis-schlemmo my baby. So frick walk, watch it an' con-fess up to her whereabouts before yo’ gig is up. Chews goin' be
by by Eye don't see Lil Eva due to oyur inaction. That is what it's all about ... 'less you want some other sour kraut be makin'