PWA 4
Desk of the PWA Corresponding Secretary                                                                                        Friday June 1
                                                                                                     8:13 pm
Dear Brother Ickanus:

Your "Cattleman Chili" contribution was well received by both myself and numerous others in our brotherhood.  I wonder if you have also explored
the culinary possibilities of combining the wiener chunks with the chili.  One option, which I personally find delightful, essentially functions as a chili
dog for the toothless.  Basically, you cut up the wiener, heat it with the chili, and then pour it over hot dog or hamburger buns.  Grated cheese and
chopped onion are then sprinkled liberally over everything.  This is truly a substantive repast and does not require the biting or chewing functions
necessitated by the standard chili dog. Your observation that PWA had been less than proactive--if not negligent--in organizing our brethren is
well-taken.  Unfortunately, the guilt and shame that attaches to our condition makes it quite difficult to address these issues in a public and forthright
manner.  If you have further thoughts on how we might better serve our pathetic PW community, we welcome your suggestions. By the way, were
you able to attend the lecture by I. P. Freely?  I found his commentary linking how nature abhors a vacuum with gender differences in house cleaning
standards quite insightful.

Brother Mysticus
Thursday June 28
Latest Fashion Release

One-Legged Bon Vivant -- Your Time Has Come

Van Nuys -- The fashion world is all agog from a sneak preview of Jimmie
Walkabout's latest creation--his "One-Legged Jumpsuit."  Said to be
fashioned in honor of The Little Lame Balloon-Man, the Jumpsuit comes
with natty accessories including a matching neck kerchief and detachable
codpiece.  For a small additional fee, the discriminating consumer can also
obtain a custom fitted cockhorn.  This one of a kind accoutrement ensures
that the sack will retain its tailored snugness when not in use and thus
always show the wearer's jingle-berries and trouser snake to their best
advantage throughout a lifetime of conspicuous public display.

Attached is a photo of the jumpsuit with neck kerchief and codpiece (minus
cockhorn).   More photos will follow by separate mail.
PWA 3
From:
                       Acting Director Irvine Culinary Clinic                                                                FRIDAY June 1
To:                            Corresponding Secretary PWA                                                                         4:06 pm
Subject:                     Survival Tip No. 2

Dear Father Mysticus,

Since you are apparently preparing to write the PWA’s survival manual for the completion of domestic chores, we here at Kwiickie “Kosher Wiener
Institute, Irvine Chapter K,” felt that our chapter membership’s point of view needed to be spelled out in greater detail.  Our previous “Cattledrive”
memo simply wasn’t acceptable to the right wing leadership of the committee for the definition of our chapter’s culinary philosophy statement.  
Perhaps the following clarification will serve to preserve our unique point of view.  If not, please feel free to make suggestions for future references
to our chapter secretary, Padre Ickanus, Ph.P., DDT, SOB, PP.

Today’s Tip:

Never underestimate the appeal of the frozen kosher wiener in the art of preparation for the survival kitchen. Let me explain…

Those who gain weight easily will be quick to appreciate the following advice from Kwiickie. Remember, things that taste good tend to be overeaten,
whereas things that don’t taste so good don’t. It’s really that simple. Stop trying to make everything you prepare taste good. It’s just not practical.  
You end up eating more than you should eat, thus you buy more stuff at the store and you spend your money on gas getting there and back etc.  
Instead, think along these revolutionary lines where eating is concerned. Always throw in something that doesn’t look appealing to the eye when you’
are cooking.Try grass or weeds for instance. Never add sweeteners or spices to anything; drab is better, dull is perfect. Don’t serve food on dishes;
stick to paper plates that get all soggy quickly. Better yet, eat right off the ground. Don’t eat with a fork or spoon, use your fingers, and don’t wash
your hands before you sit down to eat. In fact, don’t sit down to eat at all. It’s been scientifically proven that you will eat less if you are
uncomfortable. Don’t eat in well lighted places; pick dark, dank hovels instead. Make sure there is a lot of noise in the local environment, particularly
gardeners running their leaf blowers and hedge trimmers. Seek out auto exhaust emissions, dust clouds, thunder showers, hail etc. as a backdrop to
your culinary eccentricities…be original, be creative, but be sloppy. Try it for a week and you will see just how impressive the results will be.

The anti-gourmet’s wiener tip: dice up a frozen wiener and add the chunks to the batter for scrambled eggs. Cook just as you would for scrambled
eggs without the diced up wiener added. The frozen wiener chunks will defrost as the eggs are cooked. Turn repeatedly to spread the egg batter all
over the wiener chunks. This looks like shit, but it doesn’t taste anything like as bad as it looks.

Yours Truly, Dom Padre Ickanus, KP Director, Irvine Kwiickie Chapter
Brush fires provoke no more hysterical a reaction among the urban and suburban communities of
the San Fernando Valley than do the frantic verbal barrages which typify discussions among the so-
called
ditti literati who follow the art scene in Southern California. Among the glossy quarterlies
cranking out artistic cant and the insidious rant their fustian subscribers apparently admire is a pearl
in the tiara, whose editor A.K.A. Khan has recently approved of a preview of the works of a little
known local artist with the improbable pseudonym of Odd Jim Dotty. Dotty’s work is apparently
representative of an emerging art form know as the Neo-Primitive Post-Outsider Non-ism
Movement. Against this curious backdrop has appeared a blaze of outrage penned by a total nobody
with the name of Sangfroid Uppity, an art critic who teaches courses at Fort Huachuca Community
College somewhere off in the desert east of Van Nuys. It seems that this Uppity character has
launched a series of rather personal attacks of a caustic and vituperative nature, upon the carcass of
Dotty’s works, as reported by an even less probable author, someone with the ersatz escritoire of
Eucalyptus Ike. Ike’s preview of Dotty’s work has been running off the lips of the Fartsy
readership now for several weeks, following the initial quarterly printing which appeared sometime
in May.
 The latest blast of hot intestinal gas from Uppity has it that Dotty’s work is not even
original, as was previously believed, but nothing more than copied clap trap from a hack suffering
from delusion of grandeur. Uppity offers as evidence the two photos you see here. To the top left is
a microscopic slide (micrograph) from Willow wood down loadable from the web, while below
that is the actual painting by Dotty titled “Willow Tree Comforts Deceased Souls.” According to
Uppity, there is no doubt whatsoever that Dotty not only stole the idea for his painting but actually
copied the image onto his canvas, merely altering color to conceal the blatant theft. Even the idea
for Dotty’s title was essentially stolen from the website, according to Uppity.  A.K.A. Khan,
speaking for the Artsy Foundation, has denied that Dotty and Ike collaborated to foist a hoax off on
the Fartsy readership. Khan asserts instead that Uppity is simply notoriously simple-minded, suffers
from epileptic seizures, and fails generally to understand even what minimal information he has read
about his chosen field. Fort Huachuca news reporter, Ernesto Sandoval Habaniero Y Yolanda,
reached by telegraph on 29th of this month, has reported that Uppity was recently dismissed from
his teaching duties and forced to resign after evidence of child molestation charges surfaced on a
local TV show, The Fort Huachuca Nose. For reasons beyond the reach of this reporter’s nostrils,
Uppity somehow blamed Dotty for his dismissal and sought to ruin Dotty’s promising career by
disparaging his work and slinging mud upon his reputation. The author, Eucalyptus Ike, was simply
an innocent bystander caught between a rock and a hard place. Uppity’s brother, speaking for the
family on Monday, said Uppity’s mental health had been slipping off the edge ever since his arrest
for molesting one of his students last fall, and the recent charges brought against him had
precipitated his mental collapse. The family is currently investigating sanitarium facilities outside the
state in the expectation that Uppity’s case will never come to trial, as he is now in a straitjacket in
the suicide wing of the Huachuca County jail.    
Obscure Local Artist Accused of Plagiarism: Artsy Foundation Denies Charges
Dateline: Van Nuys
July 31, 2007
PWA 2
Recipe from an anonymous contributor                                                                                Friday June 1,  2:37 pm

Dear Padre Mysticus,
As a dues paying, card carry, charter member of the PWA for over 40 years now, I must say it’s about time we got a little better organized.  Wimpy
as I have been for so many years, hoisted up by my dick and strapped to my personal bed of nails, this fresh breeze from the valley of one’s own
body odor provides just the hopeful hint of relief necessary to maintain the delusion of free will and democratic choice.  While I have no pretensions
to claims of an advanced understanding of the culinary arts, I can offer a few of my quickie recipes for the handbook on survival you appear to be
promoting.

Lunch:                       a can of ‘Cattledrive’ chili, available in an 8 pack at Costco for around $6.00
Preparation:              open the can and spoon out the contents into a cereal bowl.  Cover with a paper plate and heat on high in a
              microwave oven for 90 seconds.  Serve with chopped up white onion on top.  No need to add any Cholula
               hot sauce unless it’s a cold day…
Dinner:                      a can of Cattledrive chili, available in an 8 pack etc.
Dessert:                     a can of…etc.
PUSSY WHIPPED ANONYMOUS (PWA)                                                                                        Friday June 1
A Fellowship of the Nose Ring

Dear Member:

It has recently come to my attention that a number of our constituents believe it would be helpful to share the wisdom we acquire in the completion of
our domestic chores. As one effort in this direction, Jimmie the Wimp has submitted a recipe which some might wish to try.  I have included this
below. Those who desire to participate in the recipe exchange are encouraged to forward appropriate materials in care of yours truly at our Pussy
Whipped central office. I might also note that plans for our annual "Cuss, Moan, Stomp and Burn Festival" are well underway and on schedule.  The
graven image of 'She Who Must Be Obeyed' has been removed from its nest of used sanitary napkins and is safely ensconced in a secret tool box in
the back of a pick-up truck at a used car lot in northeast El Segundo.  If you plan to attend, please remember to bring plenty of duct tape and beef
jerky.

Sincerely,
Father Mysticus, Corresponding Secretary, PWA

TAMALE PIE
2 tablespoons salad oil
1 large onion, diced or cut in small pieces
1 clove garlic, put through garlic press
1 green bell pepper cut in small squares (1/4th inch or so)
1 pound ground beef
1 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
2 cups diced canned tomatoes, with liquid (14-16 ounce can)
1 cup whole kernel canned corn, well drained (7 ounce can)
cornbread mix (prepare cornbread as directed on "Yellow Corn Meal" box)

In a deep 10-inch skillet heat oil.  Add onion, garlic, and green pepper.  Cook, stirring, over medium heat until onion is pale golden-brown. Crumble
ground beef into skillet.  Cook just until it loses its red color.  Add salt, chili powder, tomatoes, and canned corn.  Simmer, uncovered, over low heat
for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally with a hand-carved wooden spoon. While ground beef mixture is simmering, set oven to heat to 375 degrees.  
Butter a deep 2-quart oven casserole dish. Prepare cornbread mixture as directed on package. Put ground beef mixture into casserole.  Spoon
cornbread mixture  evenly over top.  Bake, uncovered, at 375 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve immediately.  Can also be nicely reheated in microwave.
Should be enough for two meals for two.
From:            The Law Firm of Clampet, Dago, Murpet, and Clacky
To:                 Ace Dotty-Turner ,  CEO Ace Exterminations
Subject:          Confidential Communique

Dear Mr. Dotty-Turner,

I am led to understand that you are one of three legitimate heirs to the Dotty estate.  If that is correct, and can be legally documented, I am authorized
to commission you as confidential go-between between the law firm of Clampet, Dago, Murpet and Clacky and any Dotty family legal representative
for the purpose of acquiring one or possibly two of r. Odd Jim Dotty's Garage School dot paintings. Naturally we require that you proceed in the
strictest confidence, without revealing our intentions to anyone outside the family.  Although none of Mr. Dotty's paintings have every sold to our
knowledge, hence no provenience has been established for their worth, for your services we are prepared to offer you a stipend of $500 for each
painting we successfully acquire at the rate of  less than $800.00 per painting.  If these negotiating terms meet with your approval, please contact our
firm for the necessary additional instructions.  

Sincerely,   Reggie Clacky, Attorney at law  
Date:             August 7, 2007
From:            Niels Nailer, Deputy Superintendent of Inpatient Services, La Casa Sanitarium
To:                A.K.A. Khan, Executive Editor, Artsy Fartsy

Subject:        Preview of Artwork published in your June Quarterly

Dear Sir,

Recent events here at La Casa have prompted me to inform you of the following.  A La Casa Sanitarium patient by the name of  P.T. Gravey, who
writes under the pseudonym of Eucalyptus Ike, has suffered a serious relapse to his condition, which I am unable to specifically identify for you due
to patient confidentiality agreements between the sanitarium and family of the patient.  However, La Casa’s Cryptics Department is authorized to
monitor all outgoing correspondence from patients and to report any nefarious information which may be of interest to criminal or civil authorities.  
As a result, we are aware Gravey  has been writing articles for your magazine featuring the work of the obscure Van Nuys artist,  Mr. Odd Jim
Dotty.  While we know of no laws that have been broken by Mr. Gravey, we believe your organization is entitled to some information concerning this
patient’s background, which is more or less not public knowledge.

Mr. Gravey was first admitted to La Casa as far back as 1982, due to the fact that he suffers from multiple personality distortions and a peculiar point
of view.  According to the psychiatric literature on the subject, Gravey’s case first came to the attention of authorities while he was attending high
school in the early fifties.  Gravey, for example, would only respond to roll call in a classroom if the teacher calling the roll said, “The Norwalk
Peacock.”  It appears his aversion to the name Gravey, which he is known to be allergic to, was the basis for this behavior.  Over the years Mr.
Gravey has been admitted on numerous occasions for multiple personality disorder, and the list of his alter egos or delusional identities is long and
extraordinarily complicated.  As the Chihuahua Sugarplum, for example, it has been well established that Gravey seduced over 114 women ranging in
age from 16 to 62, and he was a litigant in some 7 paternity cases before his illicit career was terminated by ruptured testicles and extruded, extra-
vertebral material (a bad back).  Gravey, whose educational background includes degrees in history and literature, advanced study in audiology,
phonetics, phonology, descriptive linguistics, dialect studies and lexicography, was an avid reader, versed in classical as well as modern history and
literature, was also a chronic pot smoker, who once spent an entire two year period under the influence daily of cannabis sativa, which he grew in the
back yard of his home in Costa Mesa, California.  As he was then teaching at a local Community College and driving some 55 miles a day on the
freeway, you can imagine what a hazard he was to the community and his students under the circumstances.   

Gravey’s first prolonged period of delusional behavior began when he developed the notion that he was the incarnation of Satin Lucifer (VII) and had
been ‘resurrected’ to provide the world with a “Modern History of Hell” from 1852 to the present.   Titled “Lucifer’s Lexicon of the Dark Design,”
the manuscript offers a rather daunting view of the afterlife for which, understandably, the family is reluctant to allow anyone access to it.  It is said
that Gravey spent almost 20 years of his life, working on and off, in its development, and that he completed it in his padded cell at La Casa only last
year.  The Gravey family now retains legal ownership of the manuscript, which they say they might consider publishing in 150 years.  It is also clear
that Gravey wrote the work with all the skill and intelligence his educational background supplied, and that as a result of his commitment to its
veracity, his mental health eventually deteriorated into a chronic state of depression, melancholy, and stupor which lasted for approximately two
years.  After receiving electro-shock therapy and a regimen of prolonged hot baths, Gravey emerged from the sanitarium and completed within the
year another life time endeavor which he had been composing since the year 1972.  This document is said to be a companion piece to the Lexicon,
presents an overarching and cosmological interpretation of human history, language and letters which the reader is encouraged to imagine is the result
of a multi-disciplinary translation of Tree Language spoken by the oldest specimens on the planet, the Sequoia Gigantea.

Gravey’s present persona, if I may be permitted to use the term loosely, goes by the appellation of Eucalyptus Ike.  Now 68, gray haired and bent by
his labors,  Ike (Gravey) has resided in the La Casa M-Wing for the last seven years.  His megalomania has blurred and divided itself into so many
identities that no one, including his daily handlers, is ever quite sure who they are talking to at the moment.  He sometimes appears in the colorful
costumes of Ike, sometimes as Brother Grandicularius (one of his delusions is that he is living in a monastery), sometimes as Father Ronnie, The
Flemish Fulminator,  or Brother Jubb, The Emancipator, sometimes as Pardot Kines Spielberg (Planatologist of Doom), and even as the cryptic and
deformed dwarf he refers to as Woton, The Great Khan (Encyclopedist, Lexicographer, Phonetician etc.). Each of these ‘roles’ is presented with
convincing verisimilitude, such that professional psychiatric observers are often quite beside themselves  to fashion any explanation or response.  It is
as if a new species of human being were presenting itself, abnormal, multi-faceted, peculiar, even bizarre, but so real and so peculiarly gifted as to
warrant human appeal.  Like a Stranger in a Strange Land,  Ike prowls the corridors of the M-wing or the grounds of the horticultural compound (he
is essentially harmless) sometimes spending long hours in conversation with other patients.  His outside contacts with the exception of his family have
been restricted, as you know,  until last year when he was provided with a computer and Internet access to allow him to communicate with you and
the convenience of personal correspondence with his oldest and only living friend,  Mr.  James Dotty, of whose case I’m sure you are well aware.  
Should you continue to publish the writings of one so delicately balanced on the spider web of his multiple insanities is, of course, entirely your
choice, but you must now accept all the legal responsibilities for any errors or transgressions in his compositions; otherwise, his family will feel
compelled to terminate their contract with you.  As I have been asked to act as go between between you and the Gravey family, I am requesting that
you stipulate your agreement with this request contractually, at which point I will forward the document to all parties concerned.

Cordially,   Niels Nailer
Correspondent for the Gravey Family  

CC:           Manual O’Kelly Gaspardin, Attorney at law,  
Frank Weevil, Superintendent and General Manager, La Casa Sanitarium
Catrina Angelica Gravey Y Yolanda,  Daughter of  [P.T.] Petronius Theodosious Gravey  
From:          Universal Containers Corp. Omaha Corporate Headquarters
Office of the Chairman and CEO Herald Squanto, the Container King
To:               Odd Jim Dotty, P.O. Box 4901 Van Nuys, CA

Dear Mr. Dotty,

I saw your work in the June Edition of some Art and Fart ragazine and instantly bonded with one of you paintings: Harold and the Golden Section. I
want it for my private office wall. Money is probably no object. Would you sell for say $25,000?  Let me know, 'cause I gotta have it for my 24 hour
delivery service anywhere in the known world.

Cordially, Harold Squanto CEO
Ike:

It has been over two years now since O. J. Woody, in a drunken jealous  rage, hit me in the face with a carving mallet removing a number of my
teeth.  As of yesterday, I again have teeth. Leave tomorrow morning for a well-deserved respite in the wilds of Alaska where I expect to join the
salmon in a spawning frenzy. Scheduled to return September 3rd.  Will be back in touch at that time. I have recently received a flurry of highly
suspicious requests to purchase paintings. Am paranoid about it all and not sure how to respond. Have thought about referring all such commercial
correspondence to my nephew, Trader Jim Mogul, although I don't trust that slithery leech either. Have you heard rumors that our mutual friend,
Jimmie Walkabout, is being investigated for black market trade in voodoo fetish paraphernalia? Details are still sketchy, but as I understand it some
backsliding renegade from Pussy Whipped Anonymous reported him to authorities for a third-rate quickie from some aging saucebox.

Odd Jim D
From:         Getty Foundation, Acquisitions Department, Dr. Ronald Yeager
To:              A.K.A. Khan, Executive Editor Artsy Fartsy
Subject:      Confidential Communiqué

Dear Mr. Khan,

I am led to understand that you are an acquaintance of the Garage School painter, Mr. Odd Jim Dotty, whose works your June Quarterly Edition
featured. I am authorized to commission you to act as confidential go-between between the Getty Trust and the Dotty legal representative for the
determination of prices associated with the sale of several of Mr. Dotty's paintings.You understand, I'm sure, that the Getty Foundation requires that
you in no way divulge who your client is and that all transactions be kept in the strictest confidence until such time as the museum sees fit to
announce the acquisitions. For your services you will receive a commission stipulated upon mutually agreed upon conditions dependent upon the
success of our mutual intentions with respect to the negotiations over prices. Generally this means the less we pay the artist the more we pay the
go-between. If this arrangement appears satisfactory to you, please contact me for further instructions.

Yours truly

Dr. Ronald Yeager, Acquisitions Curator, Getty Foundation and Trust    
From:          Wiley Coyote
To:         Dear Dotty white man,

I like stuff you paint.You do good. How about you and me do trade? I trade you one turquoise and silver necklace for one you paint. I like most the
one coyote under star (you know shaman thing). I make necklace sells on reservation for $2500. You got interest we deal. Let me know, ok? Maybe
you chose two week vacation in my Hogan, native food and you chose squaw you want, we do that deal instead...but only for shaman dog one, no
other…

W.C.  aka ‘Charlie Runs with Dogs,’
Hopi Reservation, White Mountains, New Mexico
From:          Frank Weevil, Superintendent and General Manager, La Casa Sanitarium
To:              Ace Turner, legal adviser/trustee for Guadalupe Ulzana Lagrimas y Penocho

Dear Sir:

You have requested to be kept informed about the welfare of your ex-mistress GULP (The Apache Attaché) who suffered a devastating relapse during
her therapy here at La Casa Sanitarium early last week. I am sorry to inform you that GULP is up to her old tricks (no pun intended) in spite of the
aroma therapy and dietary regimen you previously offered to pay for. It seems she ingested some doctored chili the commissary prepared for lunch
over a seven day period (about which an investigation is now underway) which side effects will remain unmentioned here. GULP has been restricted
to her padded cell (but is not constrained in a jacket) and has been pacing back and forth continuously while ranting about the usual topics, even
though she has received all the standard dosages of her medication concealed in her meals. (As you know she has always violently refused medicine
of any kind.) I must ask that you voluntarily restrict yourself from any conjugal visitation privileges for the next several weeks at least, until/if/when
her condition stabilizes and she is brought back under the control of her less 'radical' sensibilities. I sincerely apologize for being the bearer of so
painful a report as is contained here, but as you know, I am legally obligated to keep you officially informed.

Sincerely,
Frank Weevil, Superintendent and General Manager

PS: As you may already be aware, I have forwarded to you a copy of my official departmental memorandum concerning this episode...
VAN NUYS  A.K.A. Khan, Executive Editor and Bail Bondsman of Artsy-Fartsy,
presided today during the installation of a new painting by Odd Jim Dotty at the Zen
Baptist Mystic Positivism facility in downtown Van Nuys. The painting, titled “Iconic
Search grid, Van Nuys Sector, #1.61803 (Failure to find a place to shit where there
is no Buddha),” will occupy a place of honor in the women’s restroom of the
combination Temple/Thrift Shop/Bail Bonds area of the site. Appropriate precautions
were taken to ensure that Odd Jim was not up to his old tricks and the painting contained
no hidden camera. Although a seasoned practitioner of the Zen Baptist Mystic Positivism
tradition, Odd Jim is known to be reclusive and was not present at the ceremony. As A.K.
A. Khan noted in his introductory remarks, Odd Jim suffers from various psychological
ailments that may be integral to his work ethic and painting technique. Legend has it that
as a young impressionable lad, Odd Jim went to church camp where he got laid and
saved (both for the first time) in less than 24 hours. The young lady was apparently a bit
more experienced than he.  At least, just as he was finishing she calmly observed “You
haven’t got it in yet. And I think we are in poison ivy.” This implied criticism of his
technique most certainly dealt a severe blow to his pubescent pride and could be the root
cause of his obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Further, the subsequent dabbing of
Calamine Lotion with a Q-Tip on small delicate spots seems to have engendered the only
known case of pixel-mania for which he is infamous.
NEW PAINTING BY LOCAL ARTIST INSTALLED IN CULT CENTER
To: Odd Jim Dotty,
P.O. Box 4901
Van Nuys, CA

From: James Galliger, General Manager,  
Post Toasties Cereals Division,
General Mills Corporation

Dear Mr. Dotty,

I represent Post Toasties cereals as legal counsel for the Purchasing Department. In that capacity, I am offering you the sum of $15,000.00 for all
rights to the painting entitled "The Ego's Defense" featured recently in an art quarterly published in June. We here at Post Toasties were quite taken
with the work, and the art department here believes it would make a hit with consumers on the front panel of our Grape Nuts Flakes product line for
circulation restricted to the greater Los Angeles area. Please feel encouraged to contact me at any time if this offer meets with you approval.  My legal
people will draw up the contract and present you with the check as soon as we are assured of you consent.

Keep up the marvelous work...
Cordially, James Galliger
ODDBALLS AT ODDS
Chapter One:
"Oddballs at Odds," By Snoop Muck, Staff Writer
From:      The Office of Ace Turner,  Ace Exterminations Enterprises
To:            
Frank Weevil,  Superintenden/General Manager La Casa Sanitarium

Subject:  Guadalupe Ulzana Lagrimas...etc.

Thank you for the information. At the risk of appearing narcissistic, I too recently suffered the symptoms of a bizarre malady described to me as
'Borscht belt-o-mania'. As I am currently undergoing medication, I am in no condition to fornicate. However, please inform me when she has
improved so I may resume my lawful [conjugal] sexual practices.

Sincerely,

Ace
Continue
Folie à deux

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Folie à deux (English pronunciation: /fɒˈli ə ˈduː/, from the French for "a madness shared by two") (or shared psychosis) is a psychiatric
syndrome in which symptoms of a delusional belief are transmitted from one individual to another. The same syndrome shared by more than
two people may be called folie à trois, folie à quatre, folie en famille or even folie à plusieurs ("madness of many"). Recent psychiatric
classifications refer to the syndrome as dependency psychotic disorder  and induced delusional disorder  in the ICD-10, although the research
literature largely uses the original name. The disorder was first conceptualized in 19th century French psychiatry.

Presentation

This case study is taken from Enoch and Ball's 'Uncommon Psychiatric Syndromes': Margaret and her husband Michael, both aged 34 years,
were discovered to be suffering from folie à deux when they were both found to be sharing similar persecutory delusions. They believed that
certain persons were entering their house, spreading dust and fluff and "wearing down their shoes". Both had, in addition, other symptoms
supporting a diagnosis of emotional contagion, which could be made independently in either case.This syndrome is most commonly diagnosed
when the two or more individuals concerned live in proximity and may be socially or physically isolated and have little interaction with other
people. Various sub-classifications of folie à deux have been proposed to describe how the delusional belief comes to be held by more than
one person.

Folie imposée: A dominant (known as the 'primary', 'inducer' or 'principal') initially forms a delusional belief in a psychotic episode and
imposes it on another person or persons (known as the 'secondary', 'acceptor' or 'associate') with the assumption that the secondary person
might not have become deluded if left to his or her own devices. If the parties are admitted to hospital separately, then the delusions in the
person with the induced beliefs usually resolve without the need of medication. Folie simultanée describes either the situation where two
people considered to suffer independently from psychosis influence the content of each other's delusions so they become identical or
strikingly similar, or one in which two people "morbidly predisposed" to delusional psychosis mutually trigger symptoms in each other.
Folie à deux and its more populous cousins are in many ways a psychiatric curiosity. The current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders states that a person cannot be diagnosed as being delusional if the belief in question is one "ordinarily accepted by other members of
the person's culture or subculture" (see entry for delusion). It is not clear at what point a belief considered to be delusional escapes from the
folie à... diagnostic category and becomes legitimate because of the number of people holding it. When a large number of people may come to
believe obviously false and potentially distressing things based purely on hearsay, these beliefs are not considered to be clinical delusions by
the psychiatric profession and are labelled instead as mass hysteria. In a well-publicised case in the United Kingdom, the condition was one of
two possible diagnoses of a Swedish woman, Sabina Eriksson, who stabbed a man to death after he took her into his home, offering food and
shelter. Eriksson had just been released from police custody following an incident on a motorway which grabbed news headlines. Caught on
camera by a police documentary filmmaker, her twin sister ran into the path of an oncoming articulated lorry, sustaining severe injuries.
Eriksson then immediately duplicated her twin's actions by stepping into the path of an oncoming car; she survived the impact. The defence
counsel in the ultimate murder trial claimed that Eriksson was a 'secondary' sufferer of folie à deux, influenced by the presence or perceived
presence of her twin sister — the 'primary'.

Related phenomena

There have been reports a similar phenomenon to folie à deux had been induced by the military incapacitating agent BZ in the late 60s, and
most recently again by anthropologists in the South American rainforest consuming the hallucinogen ayahuasca (Metzner, 1999)[7] Similar
experiences of folie à deux or even folie à plusieurs have been reported during Shamanic journeying in a group setting. A typical example is
that of the interaction between power animals of two or more people who were guided in a Power-Animal retrieval journey during the same
session and by the same Shaman.
Dissociative identity disorder

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Not to be confused with Dissocial personality disorder.

"Split personality”

Dissociative identity disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or
personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. In the International
Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems the name for this diagnosis is multiple personality disorder. In both systems
of terminology, the diagnosis requires that at least two personalities routinely take control of the individual's behavior with an associated
memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness; in addition, symptoms cannot be the temporary effects of drug use or a general medical
condition.

There is a great deal of controversy surrounding the topic. There are many commonly disputed points about DID. These viewpoints critical of
DID can be quite varied, with some taking the position that DID does not actually exist as a valid medical diagnosis, and others who think that
DID may exist but is either always or usually an adverse side effect of therapy. DID diagnoses appear to be almost entirely confined to the
North American continent; reports from other continents are at significantly lower rates.
Notes from Adjunct Archive of the Eucalyptic Brotherhood, compiled by Brother Jubb, The Peanut Butter Emancipator
Dear Ike:
A brief update: I retried August 1st. Spent August and first couple of weeks of September painting (finished 9). Then G and I went to Ireland
for a little over three weeks. BASICALLY DROVE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (both the Republic and Northern Ireland) being tourists,
seeing the sights (Neolithic, Celtic, Viking, Norman ruins, distilleries, national parks, beaches etc.)Will get a home email address to pass on
once I get around to it. In the meantime use my current one. What's happening at your end? What is Tyrone doing?

Cordially,
Jim of Van Nuys
Yo Renrut et. al. (Jim of Van Nuys, Lord Jimmie etc.)                                                                                              Nov. 3, 2004

I was wondering how long you would need to chill out after so many years of 'hard labor'. It took me about a year to get the stink of school
work out of my nostrils. Had to pick them often if you know what I mean. Now I allow my selves to commit all manner of dialectal,
syntactical, semantic and morphological errors since I am no longer a responsible model of propriety for the younger generations. It's
remarkably liberating when one decides to consciously forego the obviously obsolete social forms and graces of the American academic work
ethic. And since over half of the incredibly naive U. S. population has reelected the warmonger Bush, I'm sure we can expect more of the
same, wouldn't you agree? If you don't, I'd appreciate it if you kept that to yourself, since I can't stand any longer to be confronted with
opinions contrary to my own leguminous, non-practical mentations. Now if you will permit me to speak a bit more frankly, may I say I'm
delighted to hear you have finally retired and are providing your replacement with the benefit of your many years of experience in the
administrative foxholes of graduate school. Yes, that is very considerate of you, if I may say so. Should give you plenty of time to explain the
fine points for avoiding back stabbing he will need to succeed in attempting to follow in your footsteps. Do stay in touch; it's wonderful to
hear from you, and I am looking forward to whatever form of collaboration our futures will allow, as we slowly descend into the final stages
of the Decline and Fall of Western Civilization under the incredible, galactically stupid Bush administration as it proceeds relentlessly to
bankrupt the nation with its programs of hate, fear, and warmongering, with no child left behind...   

As always, Tyrone
Reply Sent Thursday, November 4, 2004, 12:53 PM
To:  Odd Jim Dotty (aka Renrut)
Subject: What is Tyrone doing?

Dotty,
Friggin' Ike has been driving me crazy lately, exhibiting signs of post voter depression, due to the recent bullshit election, the war on terror,
the TV propaganda from both parties and the usual engorgement of misinformation. But now that it's over, I expect he will settle down and
accept the inevitable. He spent much of the summer piddling around in the garage, but there were no serious projects and no significant
results to speak of. Frankly, he spent most of his time carving tiny figures in corks he removed from wine bottles. If that is of any interest to
you, you can see it on his website. He completed 32 small figures for a chess set for Amber, and made several small boxes with carved lids
which will remain strewn about the garage until he finds some mysterious use for them [you know how he likes to hide stuff]. He spent two
weeks making two doll houses; one for Amber and the other for Erica, the cleaning lady who has two small children. I think his arms, hands,
and fingers are beginning to lose some of their strength, and the cork is easier to work with than Eucalyptus, which he still has available. C
and I have taken up bird watching (strictly amateurs) and we are a sight to see decked out in cameras, binoculars, with sunscreen, straw
hats, dark glasses etc. We are both now so allergic to sunlight that we break out in itchy fungulo if we get too exposed. But we go early to
local spots (Back Bay in Newport, and Sea and Sage Audubon on Coyote Creek) where we encounter Cinnamon Teals, Black-necked Stilts,
Northern Shovelers, American Avocets, Yellow-rumped warblers etc. It's a healthy and peaceful activity, gets us out of the house and away
from the computers, the stock market, the cats etc. Naturally we are both still gardening as usual, and this past summer we probably ate 100
pounds of fresh zucchini, made five quarts of sweet pickles, lots of zucchini bread, and nine pints of grape jelly from the vines in the back
yard. All the berry bushes were exceptionally productive, the black berries, raspberries and boysenberries we ate on breakfast cereal, mashed
up for ice cream topping, or froze for future use. Lots of fresh tomatoes, peppers, oranges, lemons, limes, grapefruit, so much so that some
we just left where it fell on the ground. By the time we finished eating the Valencia oranges it was time to start on the tangerines...Over the
summer we ate around 15 Hawaiian pineapples, so I planted the crowns in 15 gallon containers: should have a modest supply by next summer
if I can beat the possums and raccoons to the punchbowl. C and I now split the kitchen chores; I cook three nights a week and so does she,
which seems to work fairly well for us. We look forward to each others creative cuisine on the nights when we don't cook so we have settled
into rather comfortable domestic habits and enjoy each others company about 98% of the time. Enough running off at the mouth...
C says to say hello to both of you and we look forward to seeing you soon.
Tyrone
Major theories of the brain
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Currently, there are two major theories of the brain's cognitive function. The first is the theory of
modularity. Stemming from phrenology,
this theory supports functional specialization, suggesting the brain has different modules that are domain specific in function. The second
theory,
distributive processing, proposes that the brain is more interactive and its regions are functionally interconnected rather than
specialized.

Modularity

The theory of modularity suggests that there are functionally specialized regions in the brain that are domain specific for different cognitive
processes. Jerry Fodor expanded the initial notion of phrenology by creating his Modularity of the Mind theory. The Modularity of the Mind
theory indicates that distinct neurological regions called modules are defined by their functional roles in cognition. He also rooted many of his
concepts on modularity back to philosophers like Decartes, who wrote about the mind being composed of "organs" or "psychological
faculties". An example of Fodor's concept of modules is seen in cognitive processes such as vision, which have many separate mechanisms
for colour, shape and spatial perception. One of the fundamental beliefs of domain specificity and the theory of modularity suggests that it is a
consequence of natural selection and is a feature of our cognitive architecture. Researchers Hirschfeld and Gelman propose that because the
human mind has evolved by natural selection, it implies that enhanced functionality would develop if it produced an increase in “fit” behaviour.

Research on this evolutionary perspective suggests that domain specificity is involved in the development of cognition because it allows one to
pinpoint adaptive problems. An issue for the modular theory of cognitive neuroscience is that there are cortical anatomical differences from
person to person. Although many studies of modularity are undertaken from very specific lesion case studies, the idea is to create a
neurological function map that applies to people in general. To extrapolate from lesion studies and other case studies this requires adherence to
the universality assumption, that there is no difference, in a qualitative sense, between subjects who are intact neurologically. For example,
two subjects would fundamentally be the same neurologically before their lesions, and after have different cognitive deficits in their particular
area. One Subject who has a brain lesion in a specific brain area may demonstrate an impaired function in one area of cognition but spare
another. This may be compared to the other subject, whose deficits occur in the previous subjects spared function which allows inferences to
be made about brain specialization and localization, also known as using a double dissociation. The issue here is that in typical subjects (non-
lesioned), brain anatomy is different. The locations that are being studied are very similar from person to person but by no means line up
exactly. There is a strong defense for this inherent deficit in our ability to generalize when using functional localizing techniques (fMRI, PET
etc). To account for this problem a coordinate system the Talairach and Tournoux stereotaxic system is widely used comparing subjects
results to a standard brain using an algorithm. Another technique using the same concept of coordinates involves comparing brains using
sulcal reference points. A slightly newer technique for referencing across subjects is to use functional landmarks, which combines sulcal and
gyral landmarks (the groves and folds of the cortex) and then finding an area well known for its modularity such as the fusiform face area.
This landmark area then serves to orient the researcher to the neighboring cortex. Future developments for modular theories of
neuropsychology may lie in “modular psychiatry”. The concept is that a modular understanding of the brain and advanced neuro-imaging
techniques will allow for a more empirical diagnosis of mental and emotional disorders….






C
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Corpus callosum

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The corpus callosum (Latin: tough body), is a wide, flat bundle of
neural fibers beneath the cortex in the eutherian brain at the longitudinal
fissure. It connects the left and right cerebral hemispheres and
facilitates interhemispheric communication. It is the largest white matter
structure in the brain, consisting of 200–250 million contralateral axonal
projections.

Evolution

The corpus callosum is found only in placental mammals (the
eutherians), while it is absent in monotremes and marsupials, as well as
other vertebrates such as birds, reptiles, amphibians and fish (other
groups do have other brain structures that allow for communication
between the two hemispheres, such as the anterior commissure which
serves as the primary mode of interhemispheric communication in
marsupials, and which carries all the commissural fibers arising from
the neocortex, whereas in placental mammals the anterior commissure
carries only some of these fibers. In primates, the speed of nerve
transmission depends on its degree of myelination, or lipid coating. This
is reflected by the diameter of the nerve axon. In most primates, axonal
diameter increases in proportion to brain size to compensate for the increased distance to travel for neural impulse transmission. This allows
the brain to coordinate sensory and motor impulses. However, the scaling of overall brain size and increased myelination has not occurred
between chimpanzees and humans. This has resulted in the human corpus callosum requiring double the time for interhemispheric
communication as a macaque's.

Sagittal post-mortem section through the midline brain.

The corpus callosum is the curved band of lighter tissue at the center of the brain above to the hypothalamus. Its lighter texture is due to
higher myelin content, resulting in faster neuronal impulse transmission. The corpus callosum and its relation to gender has been a subject of
debate in the scientific and lay communities for over a century. Initial research in the early 20th century claimed the corpus to be different in
size between men and women. That research was in turn questioned, and ultimately gave way to more advanced imaging techniques that
appeared to refute earlier correlations. The new advent of physiologic based imaging has altered the paradigm dramatically, with the
relationship between gender and the corpus callosum becoming a subject of increasing numbers of studies in recent years.
Surveillance report from the desk of Bulldog Mayhem
Private Eye You Can Rent of Buy
To:                 AKA Khan, Editor Artsy Fartsy Publications
Subject:          Info on the crank you requested

Yes the subject does reside at the address you provided. Yes he does maintain a “studio” at the residence. Yes, the property is well kept up;
bunch of plumbers are working on it right now in fact. Residence is probably about 2000 square feet with a pool in the back and an old
wooden garage filled with piles of wood, bunches of old books, wood carvings and all kinds of other crap.  There’s almost no room left in
this shack except a small cramped area near the side door where he paints those weirdo pictures you want info about. He’s got a lot of ‘em
that’s for sure. You can count on that…I counted about 40-50 just stacked up in there. Tubes and other containers of paint all over the place,
some blank canvas, rags and underwear all covered with dots, fucking crazy shit like you wouldn’t believe…tools, chisels etc. Place is a real
rats nest if you ask me.  

I checked out that ruckus you read about in the Immaculate Times rag. Most of the details were confirmed by the neighbors. I also got a
copy of the police blotter on it if you want.  The garage still smelled like wino farts 24 hours after the incident.  I also spoke with this Snoop
Muck jerk, but he doesn’t seem to know any more about the subject than he wrote. He’s a dead end, dead head far as I can see. Did see a
mop floating in the pool and an empty gallon jug of cheap wine in the trash can out in front, if that’s any help.

Anything else you want to know, let me know…I got a guy sleeping in the back of a pickup truck parked down the street, keeping an eye on
the place.  Funny thing about it is the trees are filled with squirrels.  Guess they figured out they would fit right in if you know what I mean…

Bulldog
November 5, 2004        9:23 AM

Ty,
Thanks for the update. I wasn't in the office yesterday but am today. Actually G and I have also gotten a bit into the bird watching mode.
She's been into it for years--me just recently, largely due to the opportunities provided at the mountain house (e.g. chickadees and stellar jays
are constants but we also see a lot of mountain quail, western tanagers, acorn woodpeckers, flickers, bats, , nuthatches (white-breasted,
quail. In early summer they come through to get seeds which have been dropped on the ground from the bird feeder. Initially, they have20+
little babies following them . By later in the summer, the number of babies has been reduced to 5 or 6. It amuses me to speculate on how the
herd gets thinned and to wonder if there is some way of applying that knowledge to evangelical christians. Perhaps we should get Ike and G
together. She loves to prate on endlessly about Bushian evils, the end of western civilization (such as it is) etc. For example, I don't think there
is a person we met in ireland who is not fully informed on her full range of attitudes, opinions and beliefs. When possible, I try, more or less
discreetly, to remove myself from hearing range. Have you read the various Dune novels that have come out since Herbert's death (written by
his son and other co-authors)? Or the various sequels to the 'Foundation' series? I've been reading a lot of biographies lately (Churchill, Freud,
Darwin, Bernard Shaw, Walt Whitman, Henry Luce, Robert Lowell, James Dickey, Charles Dickens, Faulkner, Sinclair Lewis, Hemingway,
Frank Lloyd Wright, Henry Moore, Picasso etc.) For some perverse reason, I take continuing delight in knowing that very accomplished
people are always significantly flawed in various aspects of their character and abilities. G is going through another remodeling phase. Getting
ready to add on again to the Van Nuys house (expanding master bedroom and bath, adding walk-in closets etc.). This will undoubtedly result
in more self-induced craziness as if that was precisely what we needed more of. Please say hello and give our best to C, Amber, Tim et.al.

JLT

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The cognitive theory of distributed processing suggests that brain areas are highly interconnected and process information in a distributed
manner. Researchers who provide evidence to support this theory include Anthony McIntosh and William Uttal, who question and debate
localization and modality specialization within the brain. McIntosh's research suggests that human cognition involves interactions between the
brain regions responsible for processing sensory information, such as vision, audition, and other mediating areas like the prefrontal cortex.
McIntosh explains that modularity is mainly observed in sensory and motor systems, however, beyond these very receptors, modularity
becomes ``fuzzier`` and you see the cross connections between systems increase. He also illustrates that there is an overlapping of functional
characteristics between the sensory and motor systems, where these regions are close to one another. These different neural interactions
influence each other, where activity changes in one area influence other connected areas. With this, McIntosh suggest that if you only focus
on activity in one area, you may miss the changes in other integrative areas. Neural interactions can be measured using analysis of covariance
in neuroimaging. McIntosh used this analysis to convey a clear example of the interaction theory of distributive processing. In this study,
subjects learned that an auditory stimulus signalled a visual event. McIntosh found activation (an increase blood flow), in an area of the
occipital cortex, a region of the brain involved in visual processing, when the auditory stimulus was presented alone. Correlations between the
occipital cortex and different areas of the brain such as the prefrontal cortex, premotor cortex and superior temporal cortex showed a pattern
of co- variation and functional connectivity.

Uttal focusses on the limits of localizing cognitive processes in the brain. One of his main arguments is that since the late 90's, research in
research focusses on the technological advances of brain imaging techniques such as MRI and PET scans. Thus, he further suggest that this
research is dependent on the assumptions of localization and hypothetical cognitive modules that use such imaging techniques to pursuit these
assumptions. Uttal's major concern incorporates many controversies with the validly, over assumptions and strong inferences some of these
images are trying to illustrate. For instance, there is concern over the proper utilization of control images in an experiment. Most of the
controlled area. In general, this may produce false or over exaggerated findings and may increase potential tendency to ignore regions of
diminished activity which may be crucial to the particular cognitive process being studied. Moreover, Uttal believes that localization
researchers tend to ignore the complexity of the nervous system. Many regions in the brain are physically interconnected in a nonlinear
system, hence, Uttal believes that behaviour is produced by a variety of system organizations.

Collaboration
The two theories, modularity and distributive processing, can also be combined. By operating simultaneously, these principles may interact
with each other in a collaborative effort to characterize the functioning of the brain. Fodor himself, one of the major contributors to the
modularity theory, appears to have this sentiment. He noted that modularity is a matter of degrees, and that the brain is modular to the extent
that it warrants studying it in regards to its functional specialization.  Although there are areas in the brain that are more specialized for
cognitive processes than others, the nervous system also integrates and connects the information produced in these regions. This not only
would provide a more unified perception and understanding of the world but also make available the ability to learn from it.
Irvine, January 4, 2007

Dear Renrut,

Things have settled down around here now that the holidays are over. We spent most of our time quietly--no travel or major social
obligations. I've been spending a great deal of time writing and working on site y, the website. It's coming along fine now that we have the
new high speed internet connection with AT&T Yahoo. All of Ike's files and photos have been uploaded for storage as well as other materials,
historical family photos, summer trip photos (Silverado, Missouri, Yellowstone, Reno, Poker Flat, Goopy Grape Overlook, The Kid's Dance
Off, Bodner's orchard etc) and other important family documents I wanted to secure and protect in case of fire here at the house. There's so
much memory still unused at the site that I will probably never exceed its capacity in my lifetime. I got everything important there: over ten
thousand photos, all my old English Department related documents, exercises, midterm and final exams, writing assignments, syllabuses etc.
as well as every poem I ever wrote, every page of every manuscript, every email, you name it, and still have not used more than about 3% of
the available storage space on the server. You have stuff you want in long term storage, let me know and we can make arrangements to
upload it. Every 24 hours, the server takes some kind of photo image of absolutely everything there as a backup with multiple copies
stretching back for several weeks. Any problems you have with your home computer files, say your C drive crashes and you lose everything,
can simply be corrected by downloading from the server any time of the day of night. Not a bad deal for about forty bucks a month.

By the way, I've been re-reading some of our mutual email lately and the stuff being exchanged between Dotty and Ike. You ever get the
impression that those two are up to something we don't know anything about? Probably sounds silly, but I get the feeling they communicate
with each other using some kind of coded language only they understand. I can't quite put my finger on it, but those crazy letters they send to
each other which don't seem to be connected in any chronological or thematic way are beginning to make a kind of crazy sense. You just
have to put them into another order other than the one they were written in. You ever notice anything peculiar like that?

Tyrone         
From:       Brother Jubb, the Peanut Butter Emancipator
To:           Brother Mysticus
Subj:         August 4, 2006, 12:34 AM


Dear Brother Mysticus,
Hope you are feeling better after the mysterious ordeal you told me about a month or so ago.  Are you still experiencing those prurient
dreams? I looked into it as discretely as I could at this end of the wing.  It turns out you are not the only one reporting disturbing images
during sleep.  At least 11 or so other residents in the west end of the M-wing appear to have the same types of dreams you spoke about.  
Some even exhibit signs of the pathetic shuffling walk and the foot draging associated with post electro-shock therapy: the blank faces, the
occasional drool, memory loss, listlessness, vacant staring etc.  Nobody around here seems to know what to make of it, and the staff have
seen it all before so many times that they just nod, utter some soothing inanity and scuttle off to the next bed pan.

The other day I got a call from Padre Ickanus, you know the chief gardener who lives over at the garden center farm house.  Seems
somebody dumped some unauthorized trash into his compost pile and he was upset about it. I met him a few days later for lunch at the
commisary, and he showed me a paste up of a shredded document he claims he retrieved from the trash. Took him several days to piece it
back together.  He seemed really paranoid to me, looking all around, and over his shoulder every minute or two. Told me this peculiar story
about feeling he was being followed late at night all around the compound by some one he couldn't see.  I took him over to my apartment and
scanned a copy of the document into my computer more or less to make him feel better. He seemed relieved after that and left.

Later that night, I took a good look at the photo image of the document on my laptop computer screen.  It was obviously professionally
encrypted.  The more I studied it and thought about what Ickanus had said, the more I began to suspect it had CIA written all over it.  And I
hid a copy for you in the usual place--ding dong ding--I'm sure you remember the octopus...

Again, I hope you are feeling better and will soon be fully recovered; everybody misses you on the network.
Jubb
July 26, 2006
Ike

Received preliminary documents for plot of  “Letters…” Much gratitude for the thoughtfulness in sending a hard copy. Sorry to hear about
your troubles and malaise. Can empathize but in no shape to provide any sort of comfort or cheer. Have been totally dysfunctional for over
three weeks now. I suppose some kind of flu or virus. Seem to have every symptom known to modern medicine (headaches, fever,
coughing, copious mucus production, puking, shitting, dizziness, muscle aches, chronic stomach cramps, itchy rashes, etc. etc. etc.) This
was all accompanied by significant clinical depression. I’ve had episodes all my life off and on but don’t think ever while also physically ill.
Have been trying to get beyond a crippling despair in which absolutely nothing seems meaningful or worthwhile. Only good thing was some
semi-interesting hallucinatory episodes (e.g. sleeping on giant popsicle French fries; large bugs functioning as pieces on a chess board made
of clouds with carrots growing in them; an apparently retarded dancing coyote with legs like a dachshund etc.) Presume this too will pass.
Had
some primitive fleeting notions about contributing to “Letters”—something along the lines of epistles recounting notable events with
accompanying parables and tales (e.g., Epistle from Poker Flats, Epistle from Cottonwood Canyon, Epistle from Sandy’s Place, etc.) Hope
you are doing better. Hope to get back to you soon in better frame of mind.

Mysticus


July 27, 2006
Dear Brother Mysticus, I know just what you mean. It seems about three weeks back I contracted a rare vitamin b deficiency which
manifested itself in splotches of swollen red, itchy skin concentrated around my neck, across my shoulders, down my chest, and throughout
my crotch area.  Naturally, I ignored the condition for as long as I could, rather than subjecting myself to the incompetent medical fraternity
who would undoubtedly have misdiagnosed my condition as Lupis in any case. Days went by while I tried to shake it off with a nightly round
of Stolichnaya vodka, followed by several glasses of Chardonney, but apparently I was only making the situation worse...because alcohol
flushes vitamion b out of one's system.

C. finally came up with a diagnosis and home remedy that seems to be working, although I can't say I enjoy drinking small glassfuls of vodka
mixed with apple vinegar diluted with cranberry juice.  You ever tried to develop a taste for vinegar?  Not too bad once you get past the
gagging and the throwing up phase.  I've been taking massive doses of Vitamin B and the vinegar for several days now, and most of the red
blotchies are either gone or very faint and shrinking.

July is such a pleasant month, what with all the heat, crotch sweat, blotches, scratching myself bloody, more heat, fitful nights without sleep,
no air conditioning, more heat, blooms of red splotches growing up and down my neck, into the crack in my ass, and finally (the ultimate
degradation) onto my very asshole itself.   I had to let one fingernail on my left hand grow long so I could identify and remember the one I
was using for that special assignment!  Oh well, at least I was able finally to begin working a little...

Ike
August 6, 2006 1:52:42 PM
More complications


Dotty {am writing to Dotty aren’t I?}

Aristotelian necessities ["plot = character in action"] have brought about the need to integrate new items into established time frames, in order
to procure a wobbly basis for cause and effect relationships among characters. Naturally, here I mean to imply all characters, not just you and
me...

As you know, some may prevail while others must suffer temporary setbacks. Case in point, your recent medical cacaflations and crippling
despair; my obsessive rashes and computer malfunctions leading to mental hysteria and more desperate panic attacks. Nevertheless, the show
must go on...at least that is what I have always heard said at moments like these... Suggest you explore your fleeting notions about epistles,
parables, tales, mindful of all the potholes as we attempt to walk correctly before the gods...

Tyrone


August 7, 2006 3:49:42 PM
Thumb's down on the cycle of piss and gloom

Dear OJD,

All creative effort and sexual activity has suddenly ceased on this end.  Seems more than I can do just to spell correctly at this point and no
guarantee even of that.  Must say your theory on the pervert ambush was technically amusing but apparently failed to take fully into account
the scrotal infection I finally reported to Medicare.  As to the prayer and placebo prognosis, we are still considering the consequences of a
proposed biopsy, prudent in the doctor's mind, on suspiciously tender and swollen tissue...which made a big big hit with G.you bet... Very
sad for all involved.

Delighted to hear that you are slowly recovering from the physical and mental colitis of the soul, extremities etc. About a week ago, I started
light work outback in the garden, just turning over the soil a little each day. Write when you can (because you are just about the only person I
talk to anymore outside the family).That may seem an odd fact but it nevertheless is factually accurate. I seem to have lost completely what
little interest I had in idle chatter or small talk, which simply bores me to death. "I'm only interested in what interests me," sounds like the title
for a hit song, don't you think?

Trogla-d-Ike
“The figure known as the Fat God is among the more curious and least
understood deities of ancient Mesoamerica. This strange being is found in the
Classic period art of Teotihuacan, Veracruz, and the Maya region. He is first
known in Late Formative mon¬umental stone sculpture from the piedmont of
Guatemala. Appearing at such early sites as Monte Alto and Santa Leticia, the Fat
God is represented as either a huge potbellied figure or simply a massive head. In
both cases, he appears much like a bloated corpse with heavy, swollen lids
covering his eyes. In the case of potbelly sculptures, the navel too is often large
and swollen. The Fat God is a common character among Late Classic Maya
figurines, occasionally occurring also on ceramic vessels where, like the early
piedmont sculptures, he is shown with shut eyes and a swollen belly and navel.
In two cases, he is accompanied by a hieroglyphic compound read sidz. The
term sidz signifies gluttony in Chol and excessive desire or gluttony in Yucatec.  
This possible meaning of the Fat God as an intemperate glutton may explain his
frequent role as a dancer or entertainer in Late Classic Maya art. He may have
been lampooned as a ritual clown character personifying gluttony and greed,
major subjects of derision and social condemnation in Mesoamerica.
Ike Ponders the Significance of the Mesoamerican Fat God
Editor's Comment: Note the grossly enlarged belly button in the candid photo you see here. Undoubtedly
this is a current photo, which the time stamp will not fail to corroborate. There seems little doubt that the
swollen button belongs to Ike, as we cannot think of anyone else who would submit to such a ghastly
public display of what is obviously a crippling side effect of years and years of beer guzzling and other
gastronomic excessiveness. Given the angle of the shot and the fact that the object of the shot is not
entirely centered in the photo, we suspect that Ike took the picture himself in an unctuous effort to avoid
grossing out his immediate relatives...who cannot but be grateful that they were not imposed upon to
perform the odious photographic assignment. Anyone who doubts the reliability of this information is
encouraged to see his analyst, because those who have even the slightest acquaintance with Ike will
agree this behavior is entirely consistent with his personality, and his slightly loathsome sense of humor...
"Oddballs at Odds," By Snoop Muck, Staff Writer
"Oddballs at Odds," By Snoop Muck, Staff Writer

Van Nuys. The police were summoned last night to investigate a disturbance at the garage studio of local painter Odd Jim Dotty. Neighbors
reported hearing a vociferous howling argument with shrieking obscenities, followed by a physical altercation and what sounded like the
clashing of sabers.When authorities arrived on the scene they found Odd Jim Dotty alone, bedecked in dotted rags, nursing the remains of a
gallon jug of Red Mountain Wine, and muttering cryptic incoherences about indifferent gods, invasions of privacy, Captain Hook, and a
cosmic mental health conspiracy.

Given his obvious state of spiflicated deterioration, police were unable to elicit a lucid narrative from Dotty. The few details that emerged
suggest that his twin brother, Odd Jim Woody, had shown up demanding that Dotty supply him with Rogaine, Viagra and Polydent. Dotty
alleged that Woody had been pilfering from his prized hoard of these essential habiliments for years, as well as stealing his artistic ideas and
often posing as Dotty when engaged in sundry nefarious schemes to get laid, or raise funds to support his eccentric pretense of being a world
renown sleuth.  Their most recent encounter rapidly escalated into a duel. After a brief but valorous battle with makeshift swords (a metal
mop handle and a piece of rebar) they both became exhausted and dozed off. When Dotty awoke, Woody was gone.  

The brothers have apparently been estranged for most of their lives. One ongoing source of contention is ostensibly about which one can
rightly claim to be the evil twin, with both adamant in vying for this somewhat dubious honor. Adding a further note of mystery to this
peculiar situation is the fact that the two purported brothers have never been seen together by an independent witness.  Indeed, some experts
suspect that Odd Jim Dotty and Odd Jim Woody may be one and the same. For example, Dr J., Psychocrat of Symbolust, in a forthcoming
article (i.e., Artsy Fartsy, “Mental Health Disorders and the Garage School”) has noted that “…members of this movement are prone to
dissociation, often resulting in multiple personality, selective amnesia and fugue states.”   Further, Perry Normal, noted psychic consultant to
law enforcement, observes that “The Odd Jim episode includes all the elements for a classic case of the dopple ganger phenomenon.”

Although current information is scanty, faithful readers can rest assured that the Immaculate Times will continue our fine tradition of silver-
tongued scandal mongering and will be the first to report any further scuttlebutt as it becomes available.
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