Mining Engineer is dumbfounded by rat hole.

Rupert McGoogal, who made his fortune in Coober
Pedy opal mines, and subsequently married GULP the
fashion diva for House of Jimmie, when called to the
scene to represent Jimmie's family,  was stupefied by
the complexity of the excavations pictured above. A
sewer line [see photo] connecting the garbage disposal
system at the main food services dispensary for the
entire M-wing complex apparently served as an
underground plumb line to guide  tunneling effort
toward the head gardener's shack for the gardens at
La Casa. It is now clear the magnitude of the tunneling
effort disqualifies Jimmie as the sole mole rat, because
at his age he could not have performed all the labor by
himself.  Indeed, it is now clear the tunnel served for
years as a route into the M-wing by persons unknown
for the express delivery of illicit drugs concocted by a
former employee of the La Casa Gardens. Mushrooms
growing willy nilly out of the floor of the tunnel
complex suggest it was in constant use over the years.
Apparently spores were tracked into the tunnels from
the mushroom gardens above. Harvesting those
mushrooms has proved to be an unanticipated benefit
for the culinary staff at the sanitarium.    
Following last week's citizen’s alert requesting information concerning  the
whereabouts of one Jimmie Walkabout, a patient at La Casa, sanitarium
Superintendent Niels Nailer said today that every effort is being made to locate
the deranged but harmless centenarian. The crafty Jimmie, it is now believed,
tunneled out of his basement ‘apartment’ in the Mellow Yellow wing of the
Megalomania Ward in what must have been an almost Herculean undertaking
for a man of his age. La Casa security personnel were themselves utterly
astounded when they discovered the route Jimmie took to effect his
unprecedented third unauthorized departure from the asylum. Some suspect
the intrepid nutbag acquired obsolete mining tools from strangers via the
internet and subsequently spent several years improving and expanding his
otherwise modest ward space. Known for exceptionally odd or peculiar
behavior (like obsessive fondling of a rat) even among his neighbors on the
ward, Jimmie’s closest associate for years was patient X, also known as
Meldrick the regurgitator, who may have provided moral support for Jimmie’s
somewhat gopher-like activities.  Photos taken of Jimmie’s excavations reveal
a fascination with roots, especially very long tree roots, which he avoided
damaging throughout the entire subterranean complex. Numerous alcoves and
passageways contained hidden nooks and crannies where investigators found
fetishes and other objects, including a full sized coffin and boxes of finely
polished glass beads. Jimmie apparently bestowed supernatural significance
upon these locations, or he was attempting to replicate something bigger,
something even more abstract by design. Curiously, one of Jimmie’s tunnels
extended directly under and beyond the Chief Gardener’s residence at the
sanitarium, where a trap door was found concealed under the mushroom
garden just below the structure’s foundation.  It is also suspected that a
previous gardener by the name of Ickanus, who was murdered under
suspicious circumstances a few years back, may have been the source for
Jimmie’s tools, because stones and soil found in a compost heap behind his
shack matched the texture and composition of material removed from the
tunnel complex. Considered a screwball by any definition of the word, Jimmie
Walkabout is, however, the founder of an internationally renowned chain of
fashion magazines and he still controls a veritable clothing empire that spans
six continents. His House of the Seven Jimmies remains today a vast
conglomerate of enterprises that is the last word in haute couture for millions
of women around the planet. Oddly enough, according to La Casa records, it
was Jimmie himself who requested a court order  to commit himself to
thesanitarium, where he has spent the last eleven years of his life...

Notorious Lunatic Eludes Authorities in Daring Escape from Nuthouse
Dateline: Irvine
Chapter Four: The Ploys Thicken
From the Cubicle (studiette) of Odd Jim Dotty
To:        Milton the Cracker King

I received the invaluable new cracker code yesterday and concluded it will prove of inestimable value for future internal x-socialized problem
solving.  We simply must keep in touch while the germ bin festers and the products seem sparse.  I continue to spend 8-10 hours a day painting
and carving.  The writing consists largely of fragments and notes to myself which are slow to reach coherence and minimally acceptable levels of
communicative competence.  I will get out the memo outlining proposed contents of Artsy Fartsy in near future.  Am somewhat slowed by
neurotic need to remember stuff (i.e., chronologies; precepts and canons; motifs; enactments, etc.).

Egad 'The Mule' of the Doggone tribe (an unacknowledged bastard son of Woton) is gathering a legion of barristers to legally establish his paternity
and guarantee his rightful inheritance.  Expect litigation regarding hereditary succession at some point.  J. Edgar Snoopy seems to have developed
some interest in the Ickanus case (there is suspicion that he and Brother Ickanus may have once been lovers) and has issued memos identifying
Shylock Chan as a 'Commie-Kike-Chink' out to destroy the American way.  I hope to contribute to work being conducted by Office of
Acronymics (O.A.) but progress has been slowed by propensity for divergent thought (i.e., O.O.Z.E  - Organ Odors from Zoological Effluvia;
O.F.F.A.L. - Otiose Facility For Ass Licking, etc).  Am hoarding evidence of replication gone awry--not sure where that might lead.  Occurs to me
that there may evolve periods of 'parallel play' where interactive responsiveness seems unduly delayed or non-existent.  But that's ok.  
wordplay and self-contradictory arguments can always be invoked to extricate oneself from the mire of dire straits and to rejoin the
absurdest ramble in praise of sweet madness and ironic confabulation.
Hope all continues well at the Casa.  Club Jimmie is undergoing a bit of
rehabilitation but should be sparkling soon and ready to receive all sad-sack knights in their Barber's-basin helmets as they quest for sly
self-mocking tropes and revelations.

From the Cubicle of Shylock Chan
Subject:        technical sabotage

Dear Brother Crassius,
Your communication of
June 7 indicating computer problems symptomatic of bugging efforts has been replicated at our facility. I personally was
out of commission for over 24 hours with an inability to gain access to the internet. Fortunately, my crack technician (G. the Emasculator) was
able to diagnose and repair the problem although at what cost to the testosterone quotient remains yet unknown.

Yours truly,
Dis Missive From Imperial House Woton                                                                                                                June 10
       Fellowship of the Rings of Symbolust
Subject: Simpy Signs and Signature Systems,  Cryptologic Upload for the Week

The potential for scurrilous bugs has increased in the garden.  Inch worms, cabbage loopers, fruit worms, Scarab beetles, leaf miners etc. have all
been verified.  PC systems (padded cells) believed invaded by viruses, ad ware, worms, Trojan Horses, infected cookies etc. Where confidentiality
is critical (or to avoid snooper monitors and cameras) use employee Simp Signs, SS signature systems, commercial acronymics to avoid leaks in
the garden hose...watering areas must be kept wet so night crawlers can procreate, to facilitate composting capacity and to minimize tribal water
losses.  Compost pile requires more peanut butter and potato salad; you have any tidbits to exterminate in your sector?  Box and stuff any lame
stiff: 10% reduction in forces is suggested by Dis Corp.  New Prospect soon to be delivered from the fetish factory...

Cordially, Brother Jubb the Emancipator  
Field Report:   Unanswered Questions Surrounding the Ickanus Case

By Lt. Catrina Habaniero Y Yolanda, Detective Investigator, Irvine PD

Father Flem Ickanus was murdered in the early morning hours of Friday June 1.  This fact was established by the coroner. Yet, later that day, at
shortly after noon, Father Mysticus, corresponding Secretary for the
PWA mailed a cookbook proposal to all members, to which Ickanus replied
at 2:37 pm. How could Ickanus have responded to Mysticus's email at 2:37 pm. confirming his
PWA membership and offering a recommendation
for Cattleman's chili when he was already dead? Furthermore, at 4:06 Ickanus supposedly sent Mysticus another email offering survival tip number
two from the
La Casa Kwiickie Committee. Obviously, that email was not from Ickanus as well. Who sent the two emails posing as Ickanus?

Later that evening, at 8: 13 pm, Mysticus sent Ickanus another email about the chili strategy and its favorable reception by the
PWA membership.
At 9:30, Brother Grandicularis responded to that email, informing Mysticus that Ickanus had been murdered early that morning and that he,
Grandicularis, was now the acting chief gardener (with access to the gardener's email account). But according to Frank Weevil,
La Casa General
Manager, Grandicularis was not appointed to replace Ickanus as chief gardener with access to the gardener's email account until after the 6:00 pm
emergency staff meeting held that day. Hence Grandicularis could not have sent the emails.

Conclusion #1: somebody else had access to Ickanus' email account and knew his password and that person sent the two mysterious emails
identified above.
Conclusion #2: Mysticus never revealed to anyone that he had received emails from a dead person. Why?

Later that evening, at 10:40, Mysticus, after expressing his deep sorrow over the death of his friend, informed Grandicularis that Shylock Chan
was on the case. The next day, Saturday, June 2, at 2:29 pm, Brother Jubb emailed Mysticus a lengthy account of events surrounding the murder
of Ickanus. Mysticus emailed Jubb a reply on Monday, June 4, at 6:27 pm. notifying him that Chan was on the case and following a lead to "Swap
Meat," a woman Ickanus allegedly met via the internet sexual encounter website:
Wife Swap Dot Com. This pattern of emails establishes a
communications link between Mysticus and at least two of the three victims murdered at
La Casa: both Ickanus and Jubb. An examination of
Jubb' s email archive after his murder on the night of the lOth revealed other indirect communications between he and Mysticus, including the
forwarding of a code complete with cryptic signs, a brief grammar and other syntactical details which would allow secret encoding of messages
between the three men. Jubb had also warned Mysticus, via Grandicularis, about computer bugs, infected cookies, Trojan Horses, and his
suspicion that others were eavesdropping upon their communications. Mysticus directed a reply via Chan to Grandicularis noting that bugging
efforts had also been detected "at our facility."

Father Mysticus has requested and received approval from the office of Captain Hook, Irvine PD, for all current information relevant to the
Ickanus case investigation (a request unusual in itself). His ongoing interest in details surrounding the murder of Ickanus is well known both to
police investigators and staff at
La Casa. Furthermore, the gumshoe he hired to independently investigate the murder, Shylock Chan, is now
missing under mysterious circumstances.  And a recent
LA Times article has linked Chan's disappearance and his propensity to disguise himself to
an obscure Van Nuys artist name Odd Jim Dotty, who may have been posing as Chan, according to A.K.A. Khan, executive editor of
, and a life long friend of Mysticus.

Recommendation: This web of interrelations and communications between patients and staff at La Casa and outsiders with known ties both to
each other and
La Casa staff and patients is a troublesome development which should be looked into by the assignment of an additional team of
investigators ...
From:        Frank Weevil, Superintendent and General Manager, La Casa Sanitarium
To:            Relatives and Legal Guardians of the patient eT, otherwise known as Wotan, The Great Khan

Given the present state of mind of the patient under review, who continues to suffer from delusional manifestations beyond our capacity to
regulate, we (The Board) here at La Casa felt that a summation of the present state of his affairs is appropriate.  Some weeks back I reported, as
I'm sure you will recall, that Wotan suddenly recovered from the hiatus of a five year coma on the day the patient eM began raving in an adjacent
cell [eM being the extra who sometimes fills in for M [Mysticus].  (This occurred on or slightly before the date of my June 6th memo.)  Since
then, in numerous early morning video logs of his activities, we have noticed an unusually prolonged period of frantic note-taking taking place.  It
now appears that Wotan (eT) has been scribbling down complex formulae and other odd notations, perhaps a type of coded script, at a prodigious
rate over a period of several days. Using the overhead digital surveillance camera, my staff has monitored, collected and organized these notes for
your review and evaluation (see attachment). Anyone with the patience and free time to study this odd collection of dreary imagery will discover
that Wotan (sometimes spelled Woton) seems to believe he has had a transcendental experience of a type unknown to anyone here at the
sanitarium.  Concerned others skilled in the analysis of a patient who believes he has been blessed with two very large crystal balls are encouraged
to provide us with any shred of current psychological theory or dogma relevant to these phenomena, as we here at the sanitarium are frankly
REM Capture of Woton’s Thought Processes:  Ickanus Case Assignments

A DICK                                                    Acting Director, Irvine Culinary Klinic
AlbÓndiga                                                 a pregnant meatball
BOD                                                         Body Orders Department
Capt. Hook                                               The character Hector Ordonez Osiris Klink
CORP                                                       Colossus of Roads Productions
DIS                                                            Directors in Service
GORE                                                       Gallery of Rogues Employed
GULP                                                The patient, Guadalupe Ulzana Lagrimas Y Penocho
              (Guadalupe [Apache Name] Tears and Pussy) aka Apache Attaché
‘kiss                                                            keep it simple stupid
KISS                                                         Keeping It Stiff Service
Kwiickie                                                     Kosher Wiener Institute, Irvine Chapter K i.e.
LA CASA                                                  Labor Auxiliary: Capitol and Services Administration
La Casa de La Hermandad at La Casa Sanitarium
M-wing                                                        The wing of the Megalomania Complex controlled by eM
MCandC                                                Megalomania Complex and Compound
mÒÒm                                                A notorious concubine at outhouse of eM, known for producing twins
© MYRIAD                                        “My reality is your Delusion”  Motto of patients at La Casa M-wing
na                                                               not available
NA                                                                Nomenclature Adjustments
piss                                                        persons in security service
PROSPECTUS                                        any formal announcement of a plot, or business enterprise
PWA                                                        Pussy Whipped, Anonymous
RAC                                                        Rent a Character
Ripper                                                        Rest in Pieces Personnel
SIC ACT                                                        Social Insecurity Clearance and Control Tuesday
S.O.P.                                                        Standard Operating Percentage
SWOP                                                        Selves with (or without) Ongoing Projects
Tidbit                                                        (access restricted)
T.R.O.T.S.S.                               The Rigors of Toxic Shock Syndrome (coroner’s slang for poisoning)
URL                                                        urogenital recreational lifeline
VULVA                                               virtually unlimited liability visually available
Wackr                                                Any field unit of SIC ACT
Woton                                                [ i.e. Ton of Wo, a reversal] Grandson of Woden, son of Thor

Rem Capture found in Woton’s Diary Notes for June 9, 2007.   6:30 am        

MYRIAD                                        “My Reality is Your Delusion” motto of ----------
CARD                                                 Credit and Reward Distributors
TWAT                                                Tribal Waters and Tokens  [twat {‘ss}= ‘titillation with anal twist’]
Abbot                                                        Amalgamated Brotherhood Bank of Trust

“Economics of Bugs and their Environment”        

It’s All Good: In-Greed-ience R US              (US Subsidiary)
Tread Mill Tracker (or Cracker)                 Calculator: Institute that led research effort culminating
in  RATT                                                 (Replicator and Transporter Technology)
TIT                                                        Transportal Innovations Technologies
BIRD                                                         Binary Institute: Research and Development
BATH                                                        Bank and Trust of Hope
e2 = 4h                                                  energy times elegance = hope, health, harmony, happiness
MM                                                              Molecular Money
eM                                                                elegant Mathematics
E=MC 2                      short form for economics over economy = molecular money market rate x calories squared

“TODD”                                                Theories On Domestication of Decimals
DDT                                                digital decimal terminal  ( viz.  digitized decimal terminal)
LEVERAGE                                “Literally Everything Has Value Even rage”
You’ve Got Rhythm:                                         WE Pay You to Dance
“From Rags to Resources: BankYour Rage with US (for Real Estate Bargains)” (article?)
ROT                                                        Realities of Tyrone
ROT  =  DOTs                                      Realities of Tyrone = Delusions of Turners
DI                                                                        Distilled Illusions
‘ss                                                                simple sign (or ‘simp sign’ for short)
McCullough Chipper Shredder,  21st century’s first primitive transporter?
SPIDER HOUSE  revolutionary housing design where literally everything collected, counted, recycled  and banked
Tidbit                                        Travel Instructions Directions, Box in Transit

Rem Capture found in Woton’s Diary notes for June 11, 2007, 6:00 am.

Concordance of Characters, Associations, Assassinations and Assignments  (CaCaaa)
Brother (or Padre) Ickanus, [Ph.P, DDT, S.O.B., PP] victim, x-chief gardener, horticultural compound and complex, La Casa Monastery
(Sanitarium). Committees:  Director of KP Duties,  La Casa Commissary M-wing, and Assistant Director of ‘ICK’  [Irvine Culinary Klinic], where
his first ANUS is located.

П TnT                            House of Todd n Tyrone
“GI by IKE”                Graven Images by Ickanus (now out of print)
“Icky Indignatious Revisited: A Rebel without Claws”         (also out of print)
Icky, Ilk of Ike

ПM(ilk)                   House Mysticus Ilk (or Milk) i.e. any relative of the Mysticus bloodline, including a non-legitimate relative, working for or in
the service of House Mysticus, its subsidiaries, publishing houses, stud services, travel agencies, poisonous partners, internet companies, activities,

TIPP                                                        technique in porn piracy
Albondiga                                          Spanish, feminine noun, means ‘meatball’  [meatballs are female!]
Rings of S or (S)                                        Rings of Symbolust

П HH                                                       House of Hung Hong
П MC                                                  House of Milton, The Cracker King
House of 12 Blue Balls
Soil ANT Green                           Primary Product of the House of Milton the Cracker
MOBB5                                      Membership of BLUE:  Bulls, Bears, Balls, Bats, Butts  

MO (Inc)                                                Molecular Oven ( Incorporated)    
MO Motorized,    Detroit Automobile Manufacturing arm of  MO-tions Unlimited, a Fortune 5000 Corporation    
MOUSED                                        Molecules Used,  recycling arm of  MO
Drag n Drop                                        A new cough medication (drop) marketed in the form of a dragon
MAMBA2                                               Muscle and Membrane: Banking Basics
MAM i.e.                                        Medications and Medicinals internationally exchanged
DRIP                                                        Death Rays in Progress

S3 = N2P + VP    Based on a highly celebrated analysis stolen from the inventor of “Transformational Grammar”  the Copyrighted formula for the
business model of  CRAP, “Christian Republican Allied Pentecostals”  a Christian Corporation whose directors meet on the 7th Sunday after Easter,
to celebrate the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the new Apostles [Whitsunday]  i.e. “
Superiority, Sex, Success = Next Product or President  +  
Victorious Politics.”

ANUS  PP   The anus power pump, a remarkable electric and gas powered invention by Father Ickanus of the La Casa Sanitarium in Irvine,
California, which shredded all scraps from the kitchen and commissary, and delivered the mulch to the horticultural compound via hopper stations,
flexible hoses and pumps. Most authorities today consider Ickanus’s boot strapped contraptions to have lead eventually to the research and
technology underlying molecular money and the development of the Mark I molecular oven, both of which lead to the molecular transporter, the
positronic prosthesis, and other related scientific breakthroughs of the 21st century.  

June 12, 2007  Rem Capture etc

The Jap, Mark I, II, III               Japanese Artificial Proboscis  (often humorously referred to as the Twitchie)
Hocus Pocus                               code name for Brother Mysticus  Ho=Home cus Po’cus
EAR?                                               Simp code for “Everything All Right?”
Flail                                        any reference to email  (i.e. send by flail) (My flail is flaccid!)
CuCu                                        Collaborations Unlimited, reduplicated for code purposes
CaCa                                        Concordance of Characters, Associations, Assignments

Loco2                                       Local Co-workers (two patients in adjacent padded cells)
Cab-by                                       Call back (return the communication, message, call)  e.g. by flail

Rem Capture found in Woton’s Diary notes for June 13, 2007,  6:38-8:26 am.

“The Rise and Fall of eM”
RADDOG                                 “The Rise and Dubious Decline of Google”
Writer’s Guild of eMa”                Ego Maniacs Anonymous
EAR 2                                        Egos and Roles, Rulebook
TBS                               The Big Skag   (Formerly Turner’s Broadcasting System)  Mouth of the South
GT2M PP                                        Going through the Motions Picture Perfect
GUM.P                                                Giving Universal Motion. Pictures
Chanel C                                               Cox Anal Candies
DRAB  PR                        Dresses Absolutely [No Suits Allowed] fashions magazine for lesbian porn ringers

Dr. HEAD ‘n Shoulderss                        Security Services (for bed, bath and brothels)
Dr.                                                        Death Raise (at TWAT)
H n R Blogger                                       “Health and Recreation” website
SIGH [url]                                                Sexual Industries Giggle House
House of PIGGY                                 Hicks, Ham n, Hocks
GROWL sl  nd                Greater Regional OWL   [Olaf’s Water Lillies]  Satyr Ladies  Nympho’s Delightful
Sal at SLACK ATTACK        Slick Ladies Attractions “When you need to get it up, get over it, or get on with it”
Tush                                                        Tramps U Shag
TWIT                                                       Twat in Transit
S-Wise at Wobble Wooly                        Sex Without Immediate Side Effects                        
SAL                                                        “Sex and Leisure”  The magazine for ‘uptown’ clients
SUCK                                                “Sex Under Kookie Circumstances”  magazine
SLIT                                                        Satyr Ladies in Training  
House of  Slut n Slattern                                 fairly obvious…
Sphigmoid Partners in Progress SS                    sphincters and sphygmomanometers
Al at Islands of Langerhans                                 “Hear our Specialities”

Cookie                                                        Cool Kunt Immediately
“Slick Licks By Sex MX 6.9”                        “Bi-sexual Mag 8 Nifty”  sex magnified to the power of 6.9        

Chicks UT B-Pit                                                Chicks Uptight:  Best Pussy In Town
WeCOON  FFFF                                West Coast Offices of  Neutron’s Fictive Factors Fiction Factory

See the Clerk n.                         Betty at
Able Grable  “African Blacks Lick Ear”  (Ego and Roles)
ID.T                                                                Iggy Does Twiggy
BOOA                                                        Babes Out On Assignment
Babes R US
BABS                                                Brides and Bribes Syndicated (World Wide)

Hum Ominous Enterprises:   Knocked UP Porno Motion Pictures
“Gone with the Breaking Wind”   “Pride and Prick Prodigious”   “Truth and Cunt-sequences”
“Days of Ego Razers”   “Little Bimbos”   “Gentlemen Prefer Meatballs”    “A forest of Grunge”
“Bridge across The Queer  Quim”   “The Longest Labia”   “Ex Spic and Spit Taculous”
“Aunt Tony and Cleo the Puta”   “Lords of  Gizz‘n Jimmie”   “Lawrence of Suburbia”
“Up and Down Stir Fry”   “Adventures of Anybody, Somebody, Nobody”   “Steel Chamber Pot”
“Blue Legumes”   “Nags Going Nowhere”   “Bridge Across The Bulging Styx”   “Captain  from Colostomy”
“The Great Emasculation”  “Mr. Roberta”  “Agony at Extermination Camp 4”   “Casa Blanka”
“Of Mice and Midgets”  “Bleak Housewife”   “Robin Unhooded and Unhooked”   “Crime and Puerility”
“Duel in the Sandbox”   “Lust for Liver”   “Dagwood and Busty”   “The African Queer”

Rem Capture found in Woton’s Diary notes for June 15, 2007,  6:00 am.

c.o.                                                         coronary onslaught
VIP1                                               very implacable personality
vip2                                                         vastly improved possibilities
VISIONS                                        Visible Ions, a division of G4,  Glimmering Gowns from Glorious Galore
VIZIONS                                               Virtual Zions,  Jewish Fashion House of Heba Frantic
Viziers                                                Invisible Brassieres and Other Undergarments  
Hopps                                                    House of  Poncho’s Panties
Gepettoe’s Falsettos                                  Cod Pieces with candy flavors   (You can lick me naked.)
Viggie et. Vags                                        Vegetable based creams and love lotions
Rhinoplastic Processes                                Nasal jewelry, nose plugs, lip rings, piercing practices and implants        
Chubaca’s Cholula Fashions                               the hottest facial and pubic hair patterns and styles

GiG’s                                                        Gowns in  General        
DT’s                                                        Dentures Trustworthy
MnM’s           Madonna Makeover’s “Total Ellenn” [toenails, tattoos, ladida] [eyes, lips, labia, ears, nose, nostrils]   

Ali at Bama                                 Books and Movies Associated

All of the above = GOD                         Golden Ontological Destiny
For YEO (your eyes only): eM
From the Pad of Pen Pallid Woton  ۩  

Attention Nym Code and Cup Sign:  Ripper (rest in pieces personnel) at CORP (Colossus of Roads Productions) has ordered Wackr to bake one
and fry another cracker…Therefore, the following casting reassignments will be carried out (post hocus pocus) and any water retrieved by
the tribe will be distributed according to pre-arranged articles and contracts. Please notify (at your end of the compound complex) the Psychocrat
of Symbolust  [M П(Ilk)] that his role has been upgraded several notches and he may select from any of the attached role models that appeal to his
talent scouts for amusement in the new PROSPECTUS: (e.g. he may wish to consider the role of Brown Freud Lizard). Please bake up this
new gig asop, no return compliments necessary, because the management is still evaluating his performance.

As to the recruit Icky Indignacious, Novice 2nd class, Dis Corp feels he has not shown the proper amount of dis-respect to Grand Master Ronnie
by presuming to question Ronnie’s credentials and long years of effortless backstabbing for the Director’s Guild.  Also his need to suggest “we can
have it both ways” seems to rest upon a puerile (if not virtually infantile) understanding of the official dogma duties of SS personnel, who are never
(I repeat) never allowed to say exactly what they mean, upon pain of no pay and a rather painful leave of absence to a place where the shelf life of
products and services is measured in warp speed timelessness, as your positronic prosthesis is well aware…It is suggested, therefore, that you
impose the necessary counseling upon the cracker[], since you are his officially assigned mentor of note.  Any shelf life you think is acceptable
will meet with no prejudicial arguments at my end [۩ Corrino].  It is just (temporarily) so disheartening to have to explain ‘everything’ to these new
employees, don’t you think? Here at my pad, obviously, we are still looking for genuine acting talent and personalities with a subtle and
sophisticated sense of the twists and turns of plot we expect to find coming down the pike at any moment.  Should you feel compelled to offer any
local talent the opportunity to serve you in the new Internet organization, either at House Jimmie or elsewhere (House of Ike, etc) we would
naturally be delighted to hear about it.  

Now that the artificial talent pool at Amalgamated Enterprises has been expanded and a made to order requisitions department has been created, we
are all in a position to accept higher order responsibilities in order to display our innermost desires and creative tendencies, don’t you agree? On a
less rigorous note, please convey to Jimmie the Elder my sincere respects and plead with him for me to supply my tailor with a size 9 pattern for
his simply inexpressibly awesome “One-Legged Jump suit.”  Pardot Kines Spielberg is now itching and scratching himself with such suicidal
intensity that we here at  ۩ Dis Corp fear for the worst. It is hoped that the still-suit influenced design your people came up with will provide a
soothing effect if supplied in conjunction with the banana skin recipes you recently recommended.  Finally, may I offer you personally any of the
hundreds of fetish characters now available at Band Aid?  I realize, of course, how unspeakably undiplomatic this offer may appear to be, knowing
your own private collection is so far superior to my own, but if something you see stimulates your fancy, I’m sure Jimmy the Oculator and I can
arrange matters to your satisfaction. Until then, Cordially,

Woton, The Great Khan, Encyclopedist, Lexicographer etc.
CC:  Shylock Chan, Milton the Cracker Kink,  Ace of Ace Enterprises, Reverend Mysticus, eM,  Capt. Hook etc.                     

(Financial LEVERAGE: Initial Public Offerings) A HOTT House NEWS Wire
TO: All Financial Arms of CACA (Concordance of Associations, Characters, Assignments)

House of Todd n Tyrone [aka HOTT House] has hired Icky Indignatious, former Junior Partner in  Ilk of Ike Productions, to manage
the operations of HOTT’s new internet web site devoted to on line applications of Screen Names Unlimited. The proliferation of web service
providers, sites and services and the world wide scramble for screen names by the untold billions of individuals now surfing the web has created
an unexpected business opportunity for those at US (Universal Symbols) trained in the art/science of Onomastics, the study of the origin, form,
meaning and use of names, especially proper names. Since computers all have explicit code requirements and are designed  flawlessly to distinguish
between characters in both upper and lower case forms, many web denizens have exhausted the relatively meager resources heretofore available to
them without utilizing awkward pre- and post-nominal qualifiers, numeration etc. “Fred62b” simply doesn’t cut it any longer for the hip crowd
those at HOTTs intend to serve with a ‘coolaid’ sense of the properties of sophisticated style and sound. To better serve this customer base,  Hott  
to Trot will provide slick, trendy screen names on a day by day, weekly, monthly or yearly lease basis guaranteed to impress your friends, females,
or family and splash and splatter your online presence with charisma and magnetic pizzazz. Then, you will attract all of the attention that you so
richly deserve. Full body makeovers, cosmetic and plastic surgery, elite spa treatments and the latest breakthroughs in fabulous dietary science will
be no farther away than your fingertips. A few clicks of a mouse button and you will be exposed to an absolutely phenomenal assortment of body
types, musculature, hair color, and genital proportions. Depending upon your choices,  Transportal establishments in your local area can then re-
program your genotype, walk you through the necessary completely painless procedures, and prepare you for all the lifestyle alterations your
wardrobe may require or you could ever hope to aspire to. Just imagine if you can: you want to look like Marilyn Monroe for one week and  Gary
Cooper the next?  Do you crave the panache, flamboyance, élan  or elegance of Bacall,  Barrymore, Bogart, Coleman, Colbert, Cruise, Crawford,
De Niro, Depp, Douglas, Eastwood, Flynn, Fonda, Gable, Gibson, Hanks, Harlow, Holden, Jolie, Keaton, Karloff, Kelly, Kidman, Ladd, Lange,
Lemmon, Loren, MacLaine, Mason, McQueen, Nicholson, Novak, O’Hara, Olivier, Paltrow, Peck, Pfeiffer, Pitt, Poitier, Power, Quinn, Reagan,
Redford, Remick, Roberts, Robinson, Rogers, Ryan, Rider, Scott, Sinatra, Stewart, Taylor, Thompson, Tracy, Turner, Wayne, Widmark, Willis,
Winger, Wood, Woodward, Young? Well, they and untold millions of other possibilities await you when you sign up for the service.

Can you really afford to be left behind?  Behind the meatball next to you who will be the first one in line? Behind your friends, your family, your
boss, your business partner, you wife, lover, mistress, the bimbos you drink with? The members of your bowling team? The other dudes on the
beach where you hang out? The bar flies you flit with? The ugly neighbor down the street. Save yourself the grief of it all; get ahead of the
game, in front of the pack, on top of the pile, beyond the rainbow, over the hill, and into the thick of it.  Be all that you can be, or couldn’t quite
seem to be, or ever wanted to be, aspired to, hoped for, wished for, craved in your most craven moment. Be first, fit, fabulous, flirtatious,
flamboyant, but most of all, you will be “the new me….”  

Announcing the formation of RAC  SWOP  ‘n WACKR  

PROSPECTUS  (Professional Prospects for us in the U.S.)
From  ۩=Dis Corp:  § Directors in Service,  $Colossus of Roads Productions
RAC                         Rent A Character,   
SWOP                     Selves With [or Without] Ongoing Projects
WACKR                 (any field unit of SIC-ACT, Social Insecurity Clearance & Control Tuesday
Toltec Huemac of the Big Hand    (Today only Special)
Director:  Bod and Band AIDS  [
Body Orders Depot]   
Brotherhood’s Amalgamated Necropolis: D-Pool,
Assassinations Insurance Di-Sector

Available in poster and wallet size, Toltec Huemac comes with a condensed Nahuatl English Spanish dictionary, an
obsidian blade with a carved jade handle for ceremonial display and three weeks subscription to Internet Sites
specializing in all the latest and most appropriate rites of passage, including diagrams and surgical latex gloves…
Mask of Olmeca Mistic: Brown Freud Lizard

is particularly well versed in poetic allegory, staged mayhem and hysteria,  heart (and brain) surgery
performed in micro-seconds, and has the ability to leap across all pedagogical obstacles associated with his
professional, Psyco-surgical responsibilities.  Heart transplantation therapy is his vocation, but he does pick up small
change in minor brain and other carnage for clip art assignments.    
Fetish Effigies by Jadestone Doll:  a latent addiction to our offerings, features the compelling imagery of sacred
‘ahuilnema’  captured in postures performed by the royal concubines in the pre-conquest court of Nezahualcoyotl,
Tlatoani de Texcoco. Dot painted visions are also available.

Jadestone Doll was an apprentice of  ۩ Toltec Huemac, her father figure and mentor at La Casa, before launching
her own carving career.  Prone to occasional (but temporary) fits and bouts of ego fatigue, punctuated by episodes
of manic mammalian manifestations with particularly kinky side effects, Jadestone Doll’s handiwork
requires special oculatory tools and other paraphernalia collected for her by the kitchen staff in the M-wing
commissary. She can be an extremely demanding taskmaster where amorous sporting events are concerned, and
anyone interested in her character will be provided with intensive ‘hands on’ training.
Clip Arts Sticky Hearts preserved in a wide variety of mediums are available for download from CASH, but
remember the problem: there is never more than one in a customer, so the waiting list is waiting.  The poster of the
week at left was taken of the garden bird bath at La Casa by XochiQuetzal of Teotihuacan, a gardener’s apprentice
attached to the horticultural compound,  responsible for watering [and fertilizing] the corn and chili crop under
development by the new management…      
"Funeral Procession of the Innocents," Artist Unknown
Excerpt From “History of My Orange County” by Chester Picklewort II, Ace Holographic Photographer

Erection of the Retreat at La Casa

Few visitors to the restaurants at La Casa are aware of the enormous effort and expense that went into the replication of Neuschwanstein
Castle on the grounds of this world renowned sanitarium.  Construction began in the early 1990’s and was completed after two and a half
years of furious activity by everyone involved. The specific site selected for the Bavarian Castle, the original of which was the inspiration for
Sleeping Beauty’s Castle at Disneyland, was chosen deliberately by members of the Retreat’s administrative staff then under the direction of
E. Ike, the retreat’s first director, and Dr. Leon Mysticus, Chief Psychiatrist and Chairman of the Board.  Jimmie Walkabout, a wealthy
Orange County philanthropist, was most instrumental in raising the funding for the project. (A substantial contribution was rumored to have
been provided by a Publications and Fashion Conglomerate to which Mr. Walkabout was intimately connected.)

Logic of the Site Selection Process:

Every restaurant within the campus has a view of the fields, farms, and pasturage surrounding the sanitarium grounds. But there was only one
spot big enough to support the castle project that was within view of every restaurant. Unfortunately, upon that one spot sat an old
farmhouse, the first home ever built on the Irvine country property acquired  for the sanitarium, way back in 1922. However, this old home,
called M’Casa, was not simply torn down. Instead, it was moved to a new location and has been the residence of every chief gardener ever
since. If you visit the website to experience the Gardens at La Casa, a photo of the old residence is shown, near the large and living replicas
once referred to as “Sleepy Figures of Old TongPa and TongMa.” For some reason nobody seems to remember, the names for the figures
were later changed to "Sleeping Mother of Nature,” and “Father Nature,”  both of which are partly buried in the ground.    

Construction of the Schloss:

Piece by piece, brick by brick, every detail of the Bavarian Castle was meticulously assembled by the most skillfull of old world artisans. No
stone was left unturned and no expense was spared in the construction effort. All materials were carefully selected to match the
originals…blah, blah, blah…   


Architectural Plans for a Divided Metaphor

It was a webby plan built by spider man, it was booze so funny and grand,
It was just like Hell, with a different spell, out there somewhere below the sand Dune Buggies

Site Y:
You turn a ‘Y’ sideways you know what you get? A tunnel with two forks in the road, don’t’cha…kinda funny don’t cha think? Kinda like a
'why' with a new 'who' in it. If you don’t, you stink…’cause there ain’t no link to get you passed ol’ chapter three. Just a great big well down
a rabbit hole like the one where Alice fell,  with the rest of the pre-Tong…

What Say, we all go down to that funny town, like nobody ever saw, where the story’s raw, slides right by your craw, slickest oysters ever
seen…by nobody else at all.

Where all the rest of them goin’? Why they’re just goin’ to go where we already send them, “continue” “continue” “continue.” Now don’t
that seem just a ‘lil bit funny to you?

Just a simple sign gets you to the mine, where nobody else may go, just a click away, out there in the hay, where we hide ‘ol Costigan’s
Needle.’ In case you never read it (unlikely) here’s a summary I copied off Don’t know who the smuck was who wrote it.

The needle of the story is actually a gateway to Actually, nobody knows where it leads, only that its other side doesn't
exist in our own world, and that only living matter can traverse it. When the completed needle is sabotaged by right-wing fundamentalists, the
doorway expands to swallow up an entire city block. A small town of (now naked, and not just of clothing) normal people, men, women and
children find themselves alone and someplace other than Maple Street, USA. Not knowing if they are on Earth of a different time, or have
been catapulted to another universe entirely, they band together to create a semblance of civilization with the intent of building a crude version
of the needle, one that can send them home.  The religious fundamentalists come off as a bunch of rubes, but the ending is uplifting for all
and redeems the story.
Anza Borrego Post Dispatch

“Fugative Arrested for Defacing Local Rocks.”

AB Park Service Administrator Jimmie the Geezer Peebles announced today the capture and
indictment of Rufus “Wackjob” Twitchfinger, an itinerant wood carver, for his complicity in an
attempt to vandalize government property for personal gain.  Apparently, Twitchfinger--down on
his luck and only recently released from a sanitarium up north where he had been an unwitting
victim of an unscrupulous drug ring conducting experiments on the patients with mind altering
substances--sought solitude and sanctuary where he could afford it, in a cave near the unusual rock
formation known as the Ritual Necropolis. There, while he nursed his wounds and lived on tulip
bulbs and cheeze burgers, he devised a plan to gain revenge for the indignities he had suffered at the
hands of “all the crummy authorities.”  He would give the government “the finger” in the only way
he knew how. Scouting the necropolis complex for the proper material, he located a conspicuous
pillar of twin rocks located adjacent to the only dirt road passing nearby. Bashing one of the twins
into rubble, he managed to leave a single pillar he planned to fashion into the appropriate diget.  

But, as fate would have it, a fissure opened up below his work level due to his repeated pounding
and wacking and the resulting effect left no doubt about what it was rising now up into the clear
briny blue.  Although astonished by the outcome of his efforts, he felt somehow vindicated by this
strange turn of events, which, in his befuddled state he interpreted as an omen, a call to a new
vocation, the work of an unseen hand directing as well as reshaping his goals and plans.  From that
point forward he undertook a “God given task” to reclaim a stained and tarnished reputation.   Were
it not for the vigilance and persistence of Garth Whippet, the part-time park ranger and animal
control agent pictured here, who tracked down and arrested the simple minded Twitchfinger, there
is no telling how much more damage the ruffian could have perpetrated upon the formation.  The
local community, obviously indebted to Whippet for his perseverance in snaring the culprit, granted
him the full reward of $2500.00 yesterday on the steps of the Anza Borrego National Park Ranger
Station near the entrance to the park.  As for the simple minded twit, it is anticipated that he will be
returned to the sanitarium for an additional period of treatment until, sometime in the future, his
case warrants a critical review…
Official Washington was aghast with bemused astonishment
Wednesday when the Wabash Post Tattler reported two fags had
slipped through security to attend an official state dinner held for
the Dolly Llama. Seen here in the banquet area of the elegant
Presidential Dining room are Dick and Fudgie Packer whose image
was captured by security cameras before the couple was arrested
by FBI and Secret Service agents on guard duty at the time. Both
admitted to being uninvited guests of the presidential aide, Muffy
Diver, whose career as White House Social Secretary was abruptly
terminated the following day.The official excuse provided by
Hancock Slacker, deputy press secretary for the president, was
“Muffy just wants to spend more time with her family overseas in
Outer Mongolia.” It seems the couple had recently converted from
Zen Baptist Mystical Positivism to Tibetan Tantric Mahayana
Mango Gnosticism, and wanted to thank the Llama for his many
kindnesses on their behalf. Following an extensive debriefing by
psychiatrists at Walter Reed Army Hospital, the fetching couple
told reporters they intended to sell their story to Barnes and Noble
for the going price and retire to Haiti where beachfront is selling at
a premium. And so it goes…
Recent events at the La Casa sanitarium, including a host of well publicized escapes of inmates, have revealed an administration with a long
record for inept management, bizarre treatment regimens, illicit drug sales, prostitution of employees, secret drug labs, illegitimate labor
disputes, and other criminal activities including at least three blood curdling murders. Both patients pictured here suffer from a host of mind
boggling aberrations too numerous to mention. An examination of E Ike’s wallet revealed ID cards, driver’s licenses and other documents
issued in the names of over 57 bogus identities.  Eye witnesses to the antics of the two bedlamites have agreed both men communicated with
words and expressions in some ‘foreign language’ interspersed with hand signals, hoots, grunts, and bizarre vocalizations which sounded like
monkey gibberish. A police pat down at the scene turned up an elaborately carved cod piece concealed in the fly of each individual. When
questioned by police about these matters, neither man appeared capable of anything remotely resembling coherent language.        
of a syndicated news wire for the So Cal Snickerlight, in an attempt to conceal his authorship. However, diligent efforts on the part of our
government funded think tank have revealed the entire account was bogus, and the reporter had merely stolen images from the internet to
perpetrate the hoax.The pilfered photos above depict the originals as they appeared after an internet search for “homeless males” was
undertaken by concerned crapologists at the institute. The photo at left shows the merged alteration which Ballbreaker used in the bogus
article. The outraged management at Snickerlight has called for the immediate discharge of the reporter, who is rumored to be vacationing
somewhere in Tijuana, and a legal representative for the two elderly sanitarium patients is seeking monetary redress of grievances against the
IWN Snatch and Jerk for libel, heinous slander, and failure to monitor the professional activities of a ruthless employee under their supervision.

Manual O’Kelly Gaspardin, of the law firm Gaspardin and Associates, retained by the families to represent the hapless antiquarians, anticipates
that a settlement in seven figures will follow shortly, as the case against The Jerk is about as good as it gets.  
Photo of Garth Whippet, the part time
ranger, in the foregroun...
Twitchfinger, communicating with
the authorities after his arrest...
Ballsy Couple Invade White House Embassy Dinner
Dateline: Washington D.C.
The So Cal Snickerlight
Dateline: Santa Ana, California

     Dynamic Scatterbrains Returned to Looney Bin
The picturesque but seedy down town of Santa Ana is credited with the capture of
information leading to the arrest and return of two hopelessly befuddled coots to local
sanitarium authorities. The doddering duo was caught on surveillance video engaged in
behavior characteristic of what mental health specialists refer to as psyco-tropical Geezer
Gestault PeeWee Envy. According to employees at Dolly Mama’s, O.J. Dotty and E. Ike,
pictured in the photo here, were allegedly exposing themselves to clients as they were
attempting to enter the establishment. Security personnel at Dolly’s reported that E. Ike (in
the background) tried to hide a collection of pornographic photographs in a trash bin before
police arrived to take the miscreants into custody.  Detectives Rudy and Randy Panky of
the Irvine PD, who were conducting official surveillance in the area, made the collars. Both
the bums were carrying religious tracts proselytizing for the Church of Mango Gnostics,
which maintains a food service kitchen for the homeless in the local area.
Public Service Report by Fudgie Packer, Crapologist at large

 Scurrilous Rag Perpetrates Hoax:  Victims Sue for Gross Libel
Residents of Orange County were the unsuspecting
dupes last week of an incompetent, thoroughly
unscrupulous reporter, one Crocker Ballbreaker, who
works for the Irvine World News Snatch and Jerk.  
Ballbreaker’s article, titled “Dynamic Scatterbrains
Returned to Looney Bin” boldly alleged that two
elderly gentlemen [now known for their kind
heartedness and pathetically gentle ways] had escaped
from a local sanitarium and run amuck while exposing
their genitals in front of patrons at The Dolly Mama’s
in picturesque downtown Santa Ana. Apparently
Ballbreaker then forwarded the tale to the offices
Virus hoax

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A computer virus hoax is a message warning the recipient of a non-existent computer virus threat. The message is usually a chain e-mail that
tells the recipient to forward it to everyone they know.


Most hoaxes are sensational in nature and easily identified by the fact that they indicate that the virus will do nearly impossible things, like
blow up the recipient's computer and set it on fire, or less sensationally, delete everything on the user's computer. They often include
announcements claimed to be from reputable organizations such as Microsoft, IBM, or news sources such as CNN and include emotive
language and encouragement to forward the message. These sources are quoted in order to add credibility to the hoax. Virus hoaxes are
usually harmless and accomplish nothing more than annoying people who identify it as a hoax and waste the time of people who forward the
message. Nevertheless, a number of hoaxes have warned users that vital system files are viruses and encourage the user to delete the file,
possibly damaging the system. Examples of this type include the jdbgmgr.exe virus hoax and the SULFNBK.EXE hoax.

Some consider virus hoaxes and other chain e-mails to be a computer worm in and of themselves. They replicate by social engineering—
exploiting users' concern, ignorance, and disinclination to investigate before acting.

Hoaxes are distinct from computer pranks, which are harmless programs that perform unwanted and annoying actions on a computer, such
as randomly moving the mouse, turning the screen display upside down, etc.


Anti-virus specialists agree that recipients should delete virus hoaxes when they receive them, instead of forwarding them.


The virus hoax has become part of the culture of the twenty-first century and the gullibility of novice computer users convinced to delete files
on the basis of hoaxes has been parodied in several popular jokes and songs. One such parody is "Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Virus Alert"
from the album Straight Outta Lynwood. The song makes fun of the exaggerated claims that are made in virus hoaxes, such as legally
changing your name. Another parody of virus hoaxes is the honor system virus which has been cirulated under the name Amish Computer
Virus, manual virus, the Blond Computer Virus, the Irish Computer Virus, the Syrian Computer Virus, the Norwegian Computer Virus,
Newfie Virus, the Unix Computer Virus, the Mac OS 9 virus, Discount virus and many others. This joke email claims to be authored by the
Amish or other similar low-technology population who have no computers, programming skills or electricity to create viruses and thus ask
you to delete your own hard drive contents manually after forwarding the message to your friends. The Tuxissa virus is another parody of the
virus hoax, based on the concept of the Melissa virus, but with its aim of installing Linux on the victim's computer without the owner's
permission. The story says that it was spread via e-mail, contained in a message titled "Important Message About Windows Security". It was
supposed to first spread the virus to other computers, then download a stripped-down version of Slackware and uncompress it onto the hard
disk. The Windows Registry is finally deleted and the boot options changed. Then the virus removes itself when it reboots the computer at the
end, with the user facing the Linux login prompt and all his Windows security problems solved for him.
Evolution of human intelligence

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The evolution of human intelligence refers to a set of theories that attempt to explain how human  intelligence has evolved.The question is
closely tied to the evolution of the human brain, and to the emergence of human language.The timeline of human evolution spans some 7
million years, from the separation of the Pan genus until the emergence of behavioral modernity by 50,000 years ago.Of this timeline, the first
3 million years concern Sahelanthropus, the following 2 million concern Australopithecus, while the final 2 million span the history of actual
human species (the Paleolithic). Many traits of human intelligence, such as empathy, theory of mind, mourning, ritual, and the use of symbols
and tools, are already apparent in great apes although in lesser sophistication than in humans.


The great apes show considerable abilities for cognition and empathy. Chimpanzees make tools and use them to acquire foods
and for social displays; they have sophisticated hunting strategies requiring cooperation, influence and rank; they are status conscious,
manipulative and capable of deception; they can learn to use symbols and understand aspects of human language including some relational
syntax, concepts of number and numerical sequence. In one study, young chimpanzees outperformed human college students in tasks
requiring remembering numbers. Chimpanzees are capable of empathy, having been observed to feed turtles in the wild.

Hominina: Around 10 million years ago, the Earth's climate entered a cooler and drier phase, which led eventually to the ice ages beginning
some 2.6 million years ago. One consequence of this was that the north African tropical forest began to retreat, being replaced first by open
grasslands and eventually by desert (the modern Sahara). This forced tree-dwelling animals to adapt to their new environment or die out. As
their environment changed from continuous forest to patches of forest separated by expanses of grassland, some primates adapted to a partly
or fully ground-dwelling life. Here they were exposed to predators, such as the big cats, from whom they had previously been safe. Some
Hominina (Australopithecines) adapted to this challenge by adopting bipedalism: walking on their hind legs. This gave their eyes greater
elevation and the ability to see approaching danger further off. It also freed the forelimbs (arms) from the task of walking and made the hands
available for tasks such as gathering food. At some point the bipedal primates developed handedness, giving them the ability to pick up sticks,
bones and stones and use them as weapons, or as tools for tasks such as killing smaller animals, cracking nuts, or cutting up carcasses. In
other words, these primates developed the use of technology. Bipedal tool-using primates form the Hominina subtribe, of which the earliest
species, such as Sahelanthropus tchadensis, date to about 7 to 5 million years ago. From about 5 million years ago, the Hominin brain began to
develop rapidly in both size and differentiation of function.

Homo: By 2.4 million years ago Homo habilis had appeared in East Africa: the first known human species, and the first known to make stone
tools. The use of tools conferred a crucial evolutionary advantage, and required a larger and more sophisticated brain to co-ordinate the fine
hand movements required for this task. The evolution of a larger brain created a problem for early humans, however. A larger brain requires a
larger skull, and thus requires the female to have a wider birth canal for the newborn's larger skull to pass through. But if the female's birth
canal grew too wide, her pelvis would be so wide that she would lose the ability to run: still a necessary skill in the dangerous world of 2
million years ago.

The solution to this was to give birth at an early stage of fetal development, before the skull grew too large to pass through the birth canal.
This adaptation enabled the human brain to continue to grow, but it imposed a new discipline. The need to care for helpless infants for long
periods of time forced humans to become less mobile. Human bands increasingly stayed in one place for long periods, so that females could
care for infants, while males hunted food and fought with other bands that competed for food sources. As a result, humans became even
more dependent on tool-making to compete with other animals and each other, and relied less on size and strength.
About 200,000 years ago Europe and the Near East were colonized by Neanderthal man, extinct by 20,000 following the appearance of
modern humans in the region from 40,000 years ago.
Homo sapiens:
"The Lion Man," found in the Hohlenstein-Stadel cave of Germany's Swabian Alb and dated to 32,000
years ago, is associated with the Aurignacian culture and is the oldest known anthropomorphic animal
figurine in the world.

Between 170,000 to 120,000 years ago Homo sapiens first appears in East Africa. It is unclear to what
extent these early modern humans had developed language, music, religion etc. They spread throughout
Africa over the following 50,000 years or so: around 100-80,000 years ago, three main lines of Homo
sapiens diverged, bearers of mitochondrial haplogroup L1 (mtDNA) / A (Y-DNA) colonizing Southern
Africa (the ancestors of the Khoisan/Capoid peoples), bearers of haplogroup L2 (mtDNA) / B (Y-DNA)
settling Central and West Africa (the ancestors of Niger-Congo and Nilo-Saharan speaking peoples),
while the bearers of haplogroup L3 remained in East Africa.

The "Great Leap Forward" leading to full behavioral modernity sets in only after this separation. Rapidly
increasing sophistication in tool-making and behaviour is apparent from about 80,000 years ago, and the
migration out of Africa follows towards the very end of the Middle Paleolithic, some 60,000 years ago.
Fully modern behaviour, including figurative art, music, self-ornamentation, trade, burial rites etc. is
evident by 30,000 years ago. The oldest unequivocal examples of prehistoric art date to this period, the
Aurignacian and the Gravettian periods of prehistoric Europe, such as the Venus figurines and cave
painting (Chauvet Cave) and the earliest musical instruments (the bone pipe of Geissenklösterle,
Germany, dated to about 36,000 years ago).
Social brain hypothesis:
The model was proposed by Robin Dunbar, who argues that human intelligence did not evolve primarily as a means
to solve ecological problems, but rather intelligence evolved as a means of surviving in large and complex social groups. Some of the
behaviors associated with living in large groups include reciprocal altruism, deception and coalition formation. These group dynamics relate to
Theory of Mind or the ability to understand the thoughts and emotions of others. Dunbar argues that when the size of a social group
increases, the number of different relationships in the group may increase by orders of magnitude. Chimpanzees live in groups of about 50
individuals whereas humans typically have a social circle of about 150 people, which is now referred to as Dunbar's number. According to the
social brain hypothesis, when hominids started living in large groups, selection favored greater intelligence. As evidence, Dunbar cites a
relationship between neocortex size and group size of various mammals. Howewer, the more intelligent the being is, the more difficult it
should be to learn to know that being and therefore intelligence should be unrelated to group size. And there is empirical evidence for that too.
Chickens, meerkats and Jack Jumpers all have far more social relations than their small brain capacity could account for if Dunbar were right.

Sexual selection: This model is proposed by Geoffrey Miller who argues that human intelligence is unnecessarily sophisticated for the needs
of hunter gatherers to survive. He argues that the manifestations of intelligence such as language, music and art are of no utilitarian value to
the survival of ancient hominids. Rather, intelligence may have been a fitness indicator. Hominids would have selected for intelligence as a
proxy for healthy genes and a positive feedback loop leading runaway sexual selection would have led to the evolution of human intelligence in
a relatively short period. In species where females pay the most expensive biological price for reproduction, which includes humans and other
mammals, only males have traits that are selected through sexual selection. So the fact that women can think disproves the hypothesis that
sexual selection was the driving force behind the evolution of human intelligence.

Ecological dominance-social competition model: A predominant model describing human intelligence's evolution is ecological dominance-
social competition (EDSC) explained by Mark V. Flinn, David C. Geary and Carol V. Ward based mainly on work by Richard D. Alexander.
According to the model, human intelligence was able to evolve to significant levels due to human domination over its habitat. As a result its
primary competition shifted from nature to members or groups of its own species. Only then humans were "free" to develop more advanced
social skills such as communication of concepts through complex language patterns. Since competition had shifted from 'nature' to their own
species, it became of relevance to outmaneuver other members of the group seeking leadership or acceptance, by means of more advanced
social skills. A more social and communicative person would be more easily naturally selected. Modern research shows that the "genetic
bottleneck" in human evolution was not a true bottleneck at all, but that hominins were rare all the time. This aligns with the conspicious rarity
of hominin fossils compared to fossils of other animals in areas with similar conditions for fossilization. Such rarity changes the
sociobiological evolutionary pressure by removing the need to compete against each other, the need for dominance hierarchies and the need to
deceive each other. The result was that hominins evolved to be willing to share things (including knowledge), to not lie, and to not suspect
others for lying. That was likely crucial to the evolution of human language and culture. Great apes and other smart animals can learn by
imitating, but they do not deliberately educate and only imitate the parts of the process that give positive results, the former most likely
because they are too competitive to willingly share knowledge (or anything), the latter because biological adaptation to political life makes
them instinctively suspect all communication to be manipulative deception.

Intelligence as a resistance signal: Human intelligence developed to an extreme level that is not necessarily adaptive in an evolutionary
sense. Firstly, larger-headed babies are more difficult to give birth [to] and large brains are costly in terms of nutrient and oxygen
requirements. Thus the direct adaptive benefit of human intelligence is questionable at least in modern societies, while it is difficult to study in
prehistoric societies. However, alleles coding for even larger human brains are spreading continuously even in modern societies. This suggests
that cleverer humans may gain indirect selective benefits. A recent study argues that human cleverness is simply selected within the context of
sexual selection as an honest signal of genetic resistance against parasites and pathogens. The number of people living with cognitive abilities
seriously damaged by childhood infections is high; estimated in hundreds of millions. Even more people live with moderate mental damages,
that are not classified as ‘diseases’ by medical standards, who may still be considered as inferior mates by potential sexual partners.
Pathogens currently playing a major role in this global challenge against human cognitive capabilities include viral infections like meningitis,
protists like Toxoplasma and Plasmodium, and animal parasites like intestinal worms and Schistosomes. Thus, widespread, virulent, and
archaic infections are greatly involved. Given this situation, our sexual preferences for clever partners increase the chance that our
descendants will inherit the best resistance alleles. Like some people search for mates based on their (perceived) bodily beauty, height, or
social position (e.g. wealth or fame), or psychological traits such as benevolence or confidence; people are just searching for signals of good
resistance genes. Intelligence appears to be one of these signals.

Group Selection and Evolvability: Group selection theory contends that organism characteristics that provide benefits to a group (clan,
tribe, or larger population) can evolve despite individual disadvantages such as those cited above. The group benefits of intelligence (including
language, the ability to communicate between individuals, the ability to teach others, and other cooperative aspects) have apparent utility in
increasing the survival potential of a group. Intelligence is one of a class of inherited characteristics that depend for their utility on the
acquisition of something (in this case, experience or information concerning the outside world) that can be retained indefinitely by an
individual but not genetically transmitted to descendants. The ability of an organism to acquire such information and then non-genetically
transmit it to descendants that could then benefit from the experience of their parent without having to acquire the experience themselves
appears to be a major group advantage and essentially multiplies the intelligence of an individual by allowing progressive group accumulation
of experience.

Evolvability, another proposed modification to classical evolution theory suggests a connection between a purposely limited organism life
span and the evolution of intelligence. The suggestion is that without a limited life span, the acquired characteristic (experience) would tend to
override the inherited characteristic (intelligence). An older and more experienced animal would tend to have an advantage over a younger
more intelligent but less experienced animal thus interfering with the evolution of intelligence. This is ameliorated by an organism design that
limits life span.

Nutritional Status: Higher cognitive functioning develop better in an environment with adequate nutrition, and diets deficient in iron, zinc,
protein, iodine, B vitamins, omega 3 fatty acids, magnesium and other nutrients can result in lower intelligence either in the mother during
pregnancy or in the child during development. While these inputs did not have an effect on the evolution of intelligence they do govern its
expression. A higher IQ could be a signal that an individual comes from and lives in a physical and social environment where nutrition levels
are high, whereas a lower IQ could imply a child (and/or the child's mother) comes from a physical and social environment where nutritional
levels are low.
From:  Corresponding Secretary, Eucalyptic Brotherhood
To:      Artists into associating with other less gifted artists     
Re:     Your Invitation to YAIKS at SWASH-TIKI

   Summer Motto: We must now go boldly where no mango has ever gone before.
The Summer Writers, Artists, Sculptors
Hacienda [SWASH] at TIKI [Twisted Insiders
Kinky Island] cordially invites you to attend its
activities, colloquiums, trade schools, seminars
or conventional facilities for faculty.  As an
artist with a world class reputation, your
August presence will insure the highest level of
quality that we here at TIKI live and breathe
for, despite the altitude.  As you know, a
summer of service at TIKI is, has been, and
always will be, a sign of your commitment to
passing on those old world skills and artistic
values you possess that alone make modern
life tolerable and indeed occasionally even
worthwhile.  TIKI’s doors will open in July
and the flow through will proceed until Set-
Timber the First is up.
Naturally, YAIKES will operate on the same calendar. Furthermore, this year’s Youths Auxiliary Interdenominational Kindergarten Essential
Sandbox staff will supply all full-time legally enrolled pupils with notepads, pencils, pens, roach holders, tools, brushes, canvas, mallets,
chisels, paints, shovels, sledge hammers, nails, stumps, logs, diagrams, plans, drugs, and other paraphernalia considered critical to the lesson
plans and outcomes expected by their parents, grandparents, alternative parents, pseudo parents, legal parents, parent participants, parents in
loco parentis, and guardians on special duty assignment.  Body guards may retain on their person any metallic objects they deem necessary as
visual aids de campus. The luxury liner Californian, moored in the Dana Point Harbor (above), has been requisitioned for the voyage to Tiki,
and since all the state rooms are below the water line, there should be no bickering about who is going to get what accommodations (unlike
last year). Furthermore, all necessary safety precautions have been anticipated in advance by the well-trained Cuban crew (i.e. life preservers
will be provided and located conveniently in the hallways leading up to the promenade deck topside, unlike last year).       

This year’s faculty will include an internationally known collection of artists, sculptors, and writers in residence, behind the fence.  So
remember to bring your ego because participation is important.  Themes this year include, but are not limited to, “λ The World Beyond
POPS:  Principles and Promises of Procrastination”; “E/E: Evolution and The Economy: Now that We’re here, What Do We Do and Where
Do We Go Next?”; “Appreciating BOBBS [Boobs on Boney Broads]”;  PLUSH  [Plastic Luxuries: Universal Surgeries Hospice]; “Amoré  
STARS: Alpha Males on Review, Co-educational Student Tours and Related Studies.”  

To ensure a high degree of stimulation in the environment, a collection of classic films on DVD will prevail around the clock on all recreation
room tele-vice terminals. This year’s selection is attached: “Lolitta’s Little Bones,”  “Gentlemen prefer  Meatballs,”  A Forest of Grunge,”  
“Bridge Across The River Quim,”  “ The Longest Labia,”  “Aunt Tony and Cleo the Puta,”  “Drug Lords of Gizz me Fizzy,” “Lawrence of
 Suburbia,” “Adventures of Anybody, Somebody, Nobody,”  “Steel Chamber Pot,”  “Captain From  Colostomy,”  “Mr. Roberta,”  “Agony
at Termination Camp 4,”  “Casa Blanka,”  “Of Mice and Hung Midgets,” “Bleak Housewife,”   “Robin Unhooded and Unhinged,”  “Crime and
Puerility,”  “Duel in the Sandbox,”  “Lust for Your Liver,”  and “The ever popular African Queer.”

If you plan on attending, please submit via email all the required legal releases in triplicate by the Fourth of June…to secure your luxury

E. Ike
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